Disengage? ME? Really? No....I've been raising this boy. Not anymore.
The straw that broke the camel's back.
SS15 who will be 16 this coming week has the maturity of a 10 year old; the hormonal temperment of a teenager; and the difficulties that come with an Aspberger's Syndrome kiddo. He has spent this entire school year Fing around and is failing several subjects. I made it clear, that I am not paying for another year of private school (and the school he is going to is wonderful...he just doesn't give a flying flip and doesn't do a damn thing in class anymore) if this is his attitude.
His father, my DH, is furious with me.
Bit of background if you haven't read my blogs before.
DH--disabled, stay at home dad. Also Aspberger's and MS. Writes books and creates board games. Does not make any money outside of his monthly disability check.
SS15 soon to be 16--Aspergers Syndrome. When he was younger had a psychotic break. His meds are now adjusted. Now much of his "acting out" is not Autism related but teenagers are asshats related. I can tell the difference.
BM--waste of human DNA. Lives thousands of miles away. Goes in and out of homeless shelter situations or roommate situations. Is also on disability. Has never worked a day in her life. Is dating a man who is on the Sexual Offender registry. Only contact with her son is a phone call on high holidays and maybe a Christmas or Birthday present that has never arrived on time. (Average time of arrival is 2 months late...in the 7 years I have been, SS15's step mom she has gotten 1 gift to him on time. ONE)
Back to SS15 and DH. I have been hard on SS because I am trying to prepare him for life. DH told me I am ruining the boy's self esteem. He is out of school for the week. I told DH; that I wanted to teach him how to clean the entire house; top to bottom; in one day, like normal people do.
DH told me. Normal people never do that. I've never heard of such a thing. (this is what it is like living with a disabled person who only has the energy to do one or two chores a day)
I may have been a little blunt when I said, "DH you are teaching SS15 to be a disabled adult...NOT a functional adult."
He said, "I think I know how to raise my son."
You know what. You do. I've been doing all the discipling since we became a family. I've been paying for the private school. I've been worrying my ass off. But...I don't need the stress.
So I told him I am Disengaging. I'm out. Fine. Raise your own son. And while you're at it...pay for his school yourself.
CAUSED A HUGE FIGHT.
And I am dug in. I am going to be living in my office/craft room.
I will be cordial and nice and polite to DH for SS15's sake. I will still interact with and hang out with SS15; but as for discipline, school, molding him into an adult. NOT my circus anymore.