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Honest opinions please

PeanutandSons's picture

For anyone who doexnt know the history.... My inlaws hate me z.d dont acknowledge my kids with dh as family.

Sil sent my husband a text on Sunday that they werr having nieces 4th birtnday tbis Sunday. Its at step_mil house (where sil also lives). She phrased her invite..... We would love it if you would come and bring all the kids.

Now, to me that sounds like she is underhandedly inviting dh and the kids... But excluding me.

This is the first time a niece bday has been at stepmil, so up to now I have always attended. I love the dads side of the family znd they love me and my kids. I am simply not comfortzble in smil home, as they makeit plainly clear that I am not wanted.

Do I go on Sunday and be there for niece? Or do I stick with my gut and decli.e to go? If I dont go then I wont let my kids go either, so I feel bad since bs4 loves playing with his cousin. But I just do t feel comfortable with my kids around those people witbout me there to protect them.


PeanutandSons's picture

She isnt so ballsy to come out and sah tnat I wasnt i.vited......she would play it off as a misunderstanding.

Ps.... Sorry about the crappy typing. I bricked my phone on Sunday and my old backup phone is a pain to type on

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

DH should ask for clarification, and unless it's a wholehearted and enthusiastic "Of course everyone is invited" then he should immediately and brusquely RSVP "I see. My family will not be attending. Enjoy the party." And drop the call.

DaizyDuke's picture

I don't know... why can't your kids go if you don't? DH and I had a falling out with MIL when BS3 was about 1.5. When SIL had our nieces B-day party, DH and I were not going to go because MIL was going to be there and the falling out was very fresh. But I did drop BS off at SILs so that he could see his cousins as they all love each other and as much as I was mad at MIL, I know she loves BS and would want to see him as well.

PeanutandSons's picture

I wodnt let my kids go without me because I dont trust mil.... And I know dh wont stand up to protect our kids. I have also seen hos dh acts zt these family events and he getz intk his own world and wknt watch the boys closely enough.

SMof2Girls's picture

I think the kids will survive without attending the party .. especially if it means humiliation or awkwardness in any way for you. As for the niece? She's 4. I doubt she'll pay much attention to any adult that attends.

Meet up with SIL and niece on another day with your kids and have a separate event. Maybe bake a couple cupcakes and give her the gift (if you plan to buy one).

Do you think this is SIL being nasty, or just trying to avoid putting herself in between MIL and you? Do you normally get along with her?

PeanutandSons's picture

Sil is decent ti me and the kids when its just us. But when her mom is involved she sidex with her mom and acts like her. So up to now these birthday parties havent been an issue sincd other people would host them.

I havent been to a holiday gathering at mil home since xmas of 2011.