You are here

Update on Christmas Plans

paul_in_utah's picture

Submitted by paul_in_utah on Thu, 11/18/2021 - 4:24pm

G'day, 

As a quick reminder, I am in a relationship with a covert narc SO, who has been rationing attention and sex lately.  I posted a request for ideas on how to handle Christmas, since that is the one thing currently on the horizon where I can express my hurt feelings with how I shop.  There were a lot of good ideas, here is where I am leaning at the moment:

SO:  Buy an inexpensive pair of earrings, and give her an Christmas Card with an "IOU" inside.  IOU is good to come see me on any of my field assignments, all expenses paid including a daily stipend.  

SOD (Significant Other Daughter) - a gift card to her favoriate coffee shop, an amount small enough that she can't barter it for weed.

SOD Boyfriend - gift card to the same coffee shop, an amount small enough that he can't barter it for weed.

SOD Baby (currently in utero) - practical stuff like diapers, formula, etc.  I may also get the baby bed, stroller, etc.

SOS (Signficiant Other Son) - $25 Playstation card.

Myself:  Not sure, possibly a solo ski trip.  This could fall on the days of the week that SO works her "optional" job, so that she won't be able to attend.  As a reminder, SO uses this "optional job" as an excuse to not come see me when I'm working on the road.  So, fair is fair, if there is a nice vacation, she shouldn't be going on that either, since she would have to "miss" her "optional job."  I might go to Wrestlemania as well, that would also overlap with her bullshit "optional job."

Comments

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Thu, 11/18/2021 - 4:50pm

So - I am wondering what I will get for SD15 Backstabber/Munchkin.

Im thinking 50$ cash. Nothing for SD22 Feral Forger.

Birchclimber's picture

Submitted by Birchclimber on Thu, 11/18/2021 - 5:51pm

That's been our limit, CLove....$50 per step grand kid plus a few stocking stuffers.  We stopped exchanging gifts with my step daughters after they had their kids.  We suggested that they use the money that they were going to spend on gifts for us, towards gifts for their kids instead because Christmas is for kids. 

When my step grand daughter had her first kid (step great grand kid) our gift giving to her stopped then and went to her kids in the decreased amount of $40 plus stocking stuffers.  Just because they keep propagating, that doesn't mean that our Christmas gift budget should be on the rise.  We're retired, they are working.  

FF should be getting a lump of coal in her stocking....wrapped in a one way ticket to somewhere very far away, in light of recent events!

Paul in Utah: what's keeping you in your relationship??  and somewhat...blue?  Why can't you express your hurt feelings before Christmas?

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Thu, 11/18/2021 - 10:09pm

Your posts are very intense.  I can tell you are very hurt, angry and beside yourself.  I know your other post started out saying don't tell you to end the relationship with your SO.   I'm wondering, what are you getting from this relationship?  You're not happy.  The SKs irritate you no end.  I don't think you guys are married so its not fear of a divorce settlement.  Is it your house and you dread going thru evicting them?

You know, Paul, life is short.  We all deserve to have some happiness.  I'm just an old lady but your posts make me sad for you.  Think about it.  As unpleasant as a split is, life can be different for you, it can be less stressful.  Wishing you all the best.

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Fri, 11/19/2021 - 7:25am

I think this is your best option! You aren't being so cold that you aren't giving gifts but you aren't doing them any big favors either. 

Hopefully your SO either pulls her head out of her ass and decides to make your relationship a priority or she gets mad and leaves. Either way, at least there is an action. I feel like you are in relationship purgatory right now- which is worse than anything.