Irritated...
So it's another SK weekend, this time only with SS8. DH and XW#2 are establishing drop-off plans and then XW says "Is it okay to drop him off at 9PM? There's a church picnic and his older sister will be arriving late because of a field hockey game and she wants to spend time there." WTF? Since when are we making schedules around her other brats? Of course DH doesn't give a shit so he says that's fine. I'm irritated because it seems like we are constantly changing plans to accommodate her stupid packing-everything-into-every-minute ass. She did this last weekend (see blog "Punctuality and Planning") and I am just so irritated with this.
And of course my question is, "does SS8 want to stay there for all that time?" I think the underlying issue for me is that she makes all of these plans to accommodate everyone but never considers the thoughts or opinions of the individuals. SS8 is constantly bending over backwards to make sure everyone else is good, which is a refreshing trait compared to other kids for sure, but putting everyone else's needs ahead of his own can't be healthy for an 8 year old, can it? I know it's conditioned learning from his mother, but i feel like she robbed him of his childhood by not letting him dream as big as he wants to without worrying about everyone else.
Sorry all - just needed to let off some steam.
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9 pm would be past bed time
9 pm would be past bed time for an 8 year old around here... Sounds like yall need to establish some boundaries. Maybe start with no pick ups before/after X time because of X, no drop offs after X time because of X, then stick to it.
I agree. The problem though
I agree. The problem though is that XW does not understand that kids should be in bed, especially on school nights, around this time. I guarantee you SS8 does not get to bed until 10:30-11PM on school nights, and MUCH later on weekends. This is aggravating because DH and I are usually in bed by 9, even on the weekends, because we usually get up so early. It's a rough adjustment for SS to make when he's here because we're up and moving around and sometimes getting ready to head out the door and he's dragging tail. I understand this is conditioned learning from his BM but I get irritated with that too.
I think it's a great idea to set up a time - most court orders have a set time for pick-up/drop-off, but DH and XW's custody agreement doesn't give any times - pretty much is based on the whim of XW and what's "convenient" for her. She's dropped him off at 10:30 before when she was going to have him there by 8. Grr.
I can't stand being late, especially when i've given a timeframe. I don't understand how some people can be so inconsiderate. :?
Oh no.. oh heeellll no LOL...
Oh no.. oh heeellll no LOL... you need boundaries!!!! she dropped him off at 10:30 at night?! oh hell no. for one, if bm ever came to my house i would call the cops and have her immediately removed and file a police report - not because she has threatened me, but because we have explicitly told her multiple times not to come to our property. for another, if she cant agree to meet up with us at least an hour before kiddo's bedtime so we can get him back in time for bedtime routine, she doesnt get him. you should document all of this - she is not doign what is in the best interest of the child and it is a pattern - you can use it in court (when you go to set up an actual schedule for instance
) . good luck.
I used to have this problem
I used to have this problem with bm as well. She would insist on a certain time, then an hour before change it and then she would always show up late. Then she would act all pissy when she finally showed up like WE were causing her to be inconvenienced?
I just wanted to say ever heard of a clock you freaking idiot?
I am still irritated about
I am still irritated about this and we've told her about herself a few times, especially with her lack of planning and punctuality. We'll see how tonight goes...if she's after 9 i'm going to blow a gasket.