They never were married and never had a decent relationship. They were/are both pretty dysfunctional and it intensified during their relationship. I don't know if either even knows any better.

That being said, H even dealt with finding evidence that BM cheated with at least three guys - all his friends - and her admitting to it. He still stuck around "for the kids." His final straw was the SECOND time she decided to defraud a government agency - that time it was FEMA.

The BM cheated in our case too. DH found her in a car with another man parked between 2 semi trucks at a local warehouse trying to be discreet. They hadn't even been married a year. She filed for divorce citing "emotional cruelty" as the reason for the split.

BM was cheating while pregnant with SD and basically moved her BF into the family home while DH was out of state for work and then back out when he came back - but by then all our neighbors (yes we used to live in the same house) knew about it and DH set up some recording devices and got it all on tape.
She filed just because she thought she'd get everything if she did - which didn't happen but DH did have a horrid attorney

BM was cheating!! DH came across a journal that she kept where she talked about her multiple affairs!! They "tried" to make it work by him attempting to forgive for the childs sake but she continued to cheat! He finally filed for Divorce and now she is married to the one she cheated with and just had a baby! I wonder how long that will last!! Once a cheater always a cheater in my book!

Who filed: BM

Reason: Emotional Abuse allegations

In reality, DH was found having a wank watching porn and his paycheck was not meeting her wants. I heard things such as, "I could not even sleep in my own bed when SD was born, etc." (co-sleeping)

Our BM was a cheater as well. DH has a letter she wrote to him when he was telling her she needed to find a job if she wanted to keep up with her mother's spending sprees. In the letter she acknowledged that he'd caught her cheating with a couple of her co-workers during her 2 month employment at the morgue. Yes. The morgue. She went on to blame him for making her work & that he put her in the position to cheat. She then said something like, you get mad at me for working & then you get mad at me for not working. I just can't win.

So, because he expected her to get a job...IF she wanted to keep spending frivolously & NOT sleep with her co-workers, he was putting her in a no-win situation. LMAO!

The last time she left she left the kids with him & stayed gone for 4 years with nearly no contact. He had 3 sets of papers drawn up & she refused to sign the one set she got. The other 2 sets were never served because no one could find her. By the time she decided she wanted to come back again, I was there.

She ended up agreeing to file their papers as child support services was getting ready to put her in jail. He agreed to close their CS case...for the second time...to keep her out of jail if she would file the papers.

BM cheater also... over and over..never got to just have fun,
so after the birth of her two kids, she started bar hopping.
The rest you all can figure out.

What is up with these women and men that know these people are married an have kids and yet they have sex with them. and help destroy families.

BM cheated with multiple men. Then called the cops to try to have him kicked out (in front of the kids). He left and filed for divorce.

BM physically filed, but DH had moved out a year earlier. He was young when they got married, and he claims he never loved her, but didn't know it could be any better. Once SD was born, he knew he wanted out, but stayed as long as he could take it for SD's sake, which was until she was around 10. He moved in with another woman and paid BM, and after about a year BM filed and made everything official.

I would say it was both of their faults'...they just weren't right for each other and wasted many years. DH was no angel and did cheat on her, but she was a violent terror herself. Turns out she's now a lesbian and claimed to have felt that way all her life (in which case why did she marry DH to begin with??).

I'm just happy that not only am I night and day from BM, DH claims to never have felt love before meeting me and is sad he met me this late in his life. I just say he needed practice at marriage before doing it the right with me.

Who Filed? My DH

Why? Lots of reasons. Mostly because they married fairly young (23). He grew up. She didn't. He wanted to be married to a responsible adult women. She remained a child. All of the childlike behavior that was so cute when they first got married, quickly got old.

Whose fault? Both of them have to share the blame. She could have worked harder at living in the grown up world that most adults live in. He could have worked harder to stay in the marriage.

I don't get why it was such a big deal about DH and the porn when BM used to want 3somes? I kid you not. I do wish I had never heard all of that out of DH's mouth but he claimed that he wanted to be open and honest with me right off. A little too open for my "taste" if you ask me. ick

Added: Agree strongly. It was both of their faults. It normally takes two to tango.

because she was and still does try to control everyone around her wont give anyone with a different point of view a chance to speak...they always fought and she refused to work even though they had to take out small pay day loans just to get by

she's all around just weird

o and she cheated countless times in their own home, in their own bed (hints why-even the skids back this up-dh slept in his recliner)

They were both young; right out of high school. DH went to the Army and wanted SD to go; so they HAD to get married....lasted about 7 months - both cheating!! Neither were happy and decided to go seperate ways. We have been together almost 12 years now. And it is soooooooo funny when SD13 brings up their marriage - meanwhile you can't tell her the TRUTH. Whatever

My wife was never married to my SS's BioDad. BioDad used to date my wife's best friend but she dumped him so he went after my wife. He was 21 and wife was 16 when they started dating and got pregnant with SS. As is the case with most out-of-wedlock births BM gets the kid so my wife got the kid. Dickhead abandoned my wife and SS to run off with his next 16yo GF shortly before SS turned 1yo and shortly before my wife turned 18.

My XW divorced me to run off with her geriatric fortune 500 sugar daddy though I did not know that she was cheating on me at the time. We had been married shortly more than 2yrs. I was 26 and she was not yet 24. Thank God we had no children. Having anything more to do with that fridged (at least with me), psychotic, skanky whore would have been pure hell.

BM had several affairs but the deal maker love of her life (puke) is still married to another woman. She filed too.

He is a low life bastard in my opinion. There are posts from him on a website for their deceased child where he makes some claim after obviously posting under a fictitious name and email address said something to the effect "how could you pick on this poor greiveing family" yes they were still married. I guess greiveing families don't matter when it comes to dipping your wick. Oh yes and the day she decided to spring the news on my husband was priceless too. She took off on the anniversary of this childs death. (she was caring for a sick friend during phone contact). Now I have some swamp land I'll sell you if you buy this. They didn't have sex though......Please! This Prick used their dead child to get to her and still does. Imagine 5 years later and he's still Married......She picked a winner though.....he got a prize package too.

Oh she's Mother of the year too, cause once the news was out she abandon them totally.

I find it interesting that most of the BM's cheated and hate us.....hmmmmmm wonder why?

In our case can it be because I found her lesbian Porn tapes with her Vibrator as I was cleanning the "NEAT FREAKS" (puke) house.

Sorry I'm on a rant.

BM cheated too. They a different cabin up north, BM and Stink lived up there (Stink was only a little guy, I know he went to K and 1st grade of there. Every weekend he drove up there. One weekend something happened and he couldn't go (I think it was car related problems). She pissed off and cheated on him. She said from the begining if you ever cheat on me its over. DH said, there was so much going on, with his SS and her behavior, he said it was over with anyway but enforcing HER rule gave him an easy way out. She cheated on him, it was over. She claims it was just once. Like I told him, she didn't live under the same roof as you and she hung out in the bars all day and all night. She would drive the kid to school and go straight to the bar until school got out. She would put the kid to bed and run to the bars. I told him he is really stupid if he believes it was only one time.

Strange I always thought men had the cheating problem. Now I wonder if the cheating and crazy BM behavior are linked??? If there is a Warrior gene and a Liberal gene.....maybe there is a Cheating, Crazy BM gene too?

BM1 and DH were married right after high school, within a year she started talking divorce, 3 yrs in she got pregnant on purpose to 'make DH grow up', he came home from work one day when SS was under 1yr old and found that BM1 had taken SS and moved out.

BM2 saw that DH could reproduce and wanted a child. She took him bar hopping (he never drank) and got him drunk so she could get pregnant with SD. Same disappearing act as BM1 when SD was under 1yr old where DH comes home to find GF and SD moved out.

Let's just say that I have tried to never leave or let him leave when angry. He still fears coming home and finding me and BS7 gone the same way as them. Can't say I ever blame him for that.

Heffa was crazy. THE END.

I hate to even say this, but I think a lot of you are married to men who are not being completely honest with you. If you really believe that the demise of the marriage was "all BM's fault"...well, I don't know what to tell you.

I'll tell you more about my DH's divorce from his ex. Yes. She was immature. She failed to grow up. She remained a high-maintenance, emotionally immature child. He wanted a wife. Not someone he had to babysit.

But ultimately, he is the one that bailed on her. He left her with two young children and very little warning. Then, to make things worse, he hooked up with his high school/college sweetheart (me) only months after their separation. And before the divorce was final. I may not be the reason for the divorce. However, the reality is, he probably would have gone back and tried again had it not been for me.

Then, her children petitioned the court to leave her and move hundreds of miles away to live with us.

Is it any wonder she doesn't like me?

Rarely is a divorce the fault of only one party. It takes a grown up, self-actualized, and emotionally mature person to acknowledge their mistakes. I would be wary of anyone who claimed that the divorce was all the other party's fault.

Who file: DH
Why: she cheated. She actually kept receipts of the hotel bills when she was out cheating. She moved out if their house an paid for her lil boy toy"to move her from Texas. But for the next 3years she refused to file. I finally "persuaded" aka forced DH to file....I paid for it!!

I used to believe XBF, but I know now that there's a whole lot more to that story. BM2 was, in fact, having an affair with an older man who is now her husband and doing very well. I think she just got fed up with his "I did everything for you and you've done nothing" BS and unfortunately had that brat already. He's good with the "It's all your fault, I gave ALL, you never tried, I have never been so played, she was just on a mission, she's done this before and she'll do it again, who's the next victim?....ad nauseum."

I used to believe him because he is the kindest, sweetest man, but then I got that passive-aggressive crap from him and the same accusations when I was trying to break up with him.

Makes me wonder why BM would have an affair with a mature man! (he was actually cheating on his wife with her, so yes, they were shitheads.) Still, makes you wonder about that other side of the story!

Actually, in spite of all that, I believe BM filed. LOL!

BF was in the military, often away. When BF was laid up in the hospital with some broken ribs BM called and told him she was filing for divorce. I think she did it on purpose because she was guaranteed that he couldn't come straight home with a hot head. When BF got home he found out that she had been cheating. BF has a lot of guns and a bad temper, but he never raised a hand to BM. I think she was afraid though, maybe because she felt guilty; she called the cops a few times after heated arguments. Actually, she was the one who cracked a plate over his head and gave him a big ol gash, but he never mentioned it to the police.

She only cheated with one guy it seems, and they're still together now. There was a lot to it--they married too young with unrealistic expectations, then had kids, then BF was always gone on duty and BM wanted more kids and material things to fill the void. Her new BF is quite well-off, but he's very immature and I don't think he wants more kids.

When BF found out that BM's guy had child abuse charges filed against him by his OWN kids, BF didn't trust himself and had a friend lock up all BF's guns in his safe. He was very cold and unsteady during that period, and he drank a lot. He only spoke to BM's guy once, and that was to threaten him with death if he ever raised a hand to the kids.

I'd be a big dummy if I believed it was all BMs fault.DH is a perfect darling angel to me but I know he wasn't always so angelic and saintlike They just grew apart and realized they both messed up the relationship.They're too different.sad for them at the time,good for me in the present

BM had an affair and told DH she no longer loved him,from what i can gather,he tried to win her back for a while, to no avail,then,she came up with the idea that neither of them had to look bad as they could just state that they had lived seperate lives from the day after they married,......she basically didn't want DH filing against her,and stupidly,he went along with her crackpot idea.

WOW so many with a cheater. Dh was too but then she started hitting him and the last straw was when she hit him while holding the youngest which was a baby. He filed but she filed to have his recanted so she could file. I know but hey whatever. Stating that he abandoned them. He didn't and proved it. Then she kept it going and going so much so that the judge was mad at her.

Bm admitted that she hit dh and that he made her do it. I couldn't ever imagine hitting dh he is the kindest man I know.

My SO was tired of being under the control of a narcissist. Luckily the strength was there - even though we have to deal with the bugger still because of PPP11 - for My SO to leave him. However, BD has learned that I'm not controllable and, in fact, know family law quite well and that his bullsh** doesn't make it past his sphincter with me. PPP11 is learning the same thing... }:)

My BF Married Double E after he got her pregnant. He has told me that he never loved her. It was just the right thing to do at the time.

Double E started getting a little sick of the family life so she decided to befriend a bunch of single ladies. She would go out on the weekends and dance on bar tops and god knows what else she did. She also wanted to live the life of the wives of orange county and expected to go on cruses whenever and needed to have a new car every year.

She completely took my BF for granted and treated him disrespectfully in fornt of the neighbors and his family. She would scream at him and verbally abuse him.

Now I know my BF probably played a part in it. He has yet to tell me what role it was though. She was the one who wanted the divorse. He was the one who suggested counseling instead. When her heart was set on it he made sure it happened in like a month and told her to get the f!$k out.

I was the one who left my ex. He was drinking and driving with my daughter in the car, smoking pot all the time, and expexted me to be his live in biotch. He quit bathing and brushing his teeth because he had nobody to impress. There were nights when he just didn't come home becuase, and I quote, "I fell asleep on my buddies couch." I knew he was cheating on me. I just didn't care. My thought was atleast he's leaving me alone. Sad I know. The only reason why I stayed with him was because of our child. The drinking and driving with her was the final straw.

The part that I played was I just gave up. I let myself loose sence of who I really was. I quit caring. Not that I didn't suggest couples counciling for the last 4 years of our relationship. I grew up in a broken home with step parents. I didn't want that for my daughter.

Who filed? BM

BM did cheat on H and was married and 2 months pregnant not even 6 months after the divorce. She took DH to his favorite restaurant and told him that she was cheating on him and that she wanted a divorce. That is the situation that brought the divorce about, but not the entire reason why they divorced.

They were young when they got married (23) and neither one of them realized what it would take to make a marriage work. They were both unhappy for quite sometime before the divorce. Neither DH or BM were very good with money, so they were constantly in the hole. BM wanted to party all of the time and DH was gone a lot for work. So, it was really a combination of both of them. There were in-law issues too (MIL couldn't stand BM and BM couldn't stand MIL; BM's parents are just crazy)