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nuwife's picture

My husband and I have been together for 5yrs now. We have a 4yr together and he has a 14yr and a 17yr. Every time his kids come around his whole attitude change and he doesn't see it. My biggest problem is with his 17yr old..........Nothing in our house is personal nor private, she calls and texts her mom all day regarding what were doing. Their mom talks negatively about me around the children and when they come to visit I'm dealt the attitude. My husband and I have been to counseling and I thought we made some progress, but apparently not. It's like living in a world wind.I am so tired and its causing a wedge between me and my husband. I've been here for him through all the hell and drama that he has going through regarding his stupid ex, but at some point I have to think about me. I hope I'm not a bad person for saying this,but I really do not like being around his children. And he is constantly questioning me why don't I love his kids. I keep trying to tell him that it is a relationship that I have to build and since they have been in my life it has been turmoil with them and their mom I'm feed up. Sad


Done WIth It's picture

Ah honey, you're looking at this all wrong. BM is very interested in what you are...what you're doing. BM is a voyeur through her daughter.

The next time daugher is talking to her BM about you, offer to "strike a pose" as you know her mother yearns for details about you and she can also have a photo. Be sweet about it.

When you talk to a friend on the phone, say you've making yourself visible so the kids can "stay in good with their mom and report about you. From what you understand, the BM is absolutely fascinated with you and craves details."

Or when the daughter talks to BM about you, look, tip your head sideways, and tell the daughter you're complimented with the interest shown in you. At first you thought it a form of stalking, but now you see it as a total compliment to be discussed and worthy of their time.

Then....NEVER NEVER ask anything about their mother. NEVER!! When they bring her up, just do the old "hmmmmm" or smile. No comment, not worth your time...BM is too umimportant with your energy of words for her.