You are here

Warning: It doesn’t end even when they age out

ntm's picture

DH has a gig Saturday night and is making it Von Trapp family night - including both OSD28 and YSD24. I have to give them credit - they are extremely gifted singers. BUT neither one TO THIS DAY drives or has a car. He has to drive 12 miles in the opposite direction to get them and then 12 miles in the opposite direction to bring them back, for a total of 48 miles out of his way. Eyeroll. Today he asked if I was going with him to pick them up or should he swing by here to get me on "our way out." Seriously he has to pass within a block of our house on his way out to the bar, on his way back from getting them  

I said that neither, I would get myself there. He was seriously taken aback. I had to repeat myself. Said I was capable of driving and would take whichever vehicle he doesn't take. He just stood there looking at me. I told him I'm so over having to drive WITH them. Asked if he needed anything else. He said no and walked away. 

Seriously, I want the option not to go at all. I vacillate between it'll be fine to UGH, I have no desire to go. I just don't like being around them and I know Miss All It is going to be flitting about jabbering nonstop about herself. I just can't. Or at least want the ability to say I just can't. 

Just to let you know that it's not a matter of hanging in there until they're 18 - it's a lifetime sentence. 


JRI's picture

My SD is 60yo and you're right, it never ends.  Furthermore, like everyone else, our SKs become even more and more like themselvrs, for better or worse, as they age.

Stepdrama2020's picture

How dang lovely. 

Can you not do back up by playing the banjo? 

Seriously, cant the Von Trapps take an uber? Ridiculous. As for your DH being upset you didnt want to hop on the Partridge Family bus, too dang bad. 

Survivingstephell's picture

Explosive diarrhea gets you out of so much and nobody questions it.  My hubby used it as an excuse for work often.  LOL. 

caninelover's picture

At their ages if they didn't drive, I would say get yourselves there by bus, Uber, whatever.  Unbelievable that he drives that far to pick them up. SMH.

Purple-pinkSkies's picture

But at least one factor can be eliminated which is court ordered legal obligations to selfish entitled crazy BMs who spend the funds on themselves and their addictions which lead to poor parenting of kids when in their care. 

The system is 100% broken.

What DH or significant other does after that is 100% on them.   


TrueNorth77's picture

Please don't tell me it doesn't end when they age out, that's all I have to keep me going! Lol. They don't drive and he picks them up????? Oh hell no. I do know we won't ever deal with that situation, but I'm sure some other BS will present itself. 

missgingersnap2021's picture

Trust her - IT DOESN'T END!!! I was doing the countdown till SD turns 18 which is NEXT WEEK! DH busted my bubble a few months ago when he stated that the visitation schedule isn't going to stop just becuase she turns 18 becuase as he put it "BM is still going to want her time" meaning time without SD. 

ntm's picture

Yep. Until I put my foot down and said this is my house. Any visitation will need to take place somewhere else. If you want overnight visitation, you should check in with your parents and see if they'll accommodate you. 

Winterglow's picture

It never occurs to him that his daughter is going to develop her own life and want to do things that are neither in his home nor her mother's. She's going to want to spend more and more time with people her own age. Her getting a boyfriend is a step in the right direction. 

Interesting that he phrases it so that it looks like he's doing his ex a favour when he doesn't do the same for you (so you can celebrate your birthday on the actual day without having to cater to SD, for instance).

CLove's picture

Doesnt have a license, doesnt drive. But at least for now has a job.

Crr18's picture

How does she get to the job.  SD here is only 15 1/2 and already has a job. I was thankful that she quit staying with us and somehow she gets to her job without SO .  He has only picked her up twice.