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One thing I’ve learned from ST

Noway2b1's picture

Is don't delete my account because things calm down. I did that once. I actually joined in 2019. Vented my heart out. Things calmed down and I thought eh I haven't even needed to vent in six months. Guess I'll delete so that all that venting isn't out there. 
 

Well a few months after deleting my account here we go again. I rejoined and am glad I did. It helps me track the ups and downs and also serves as a reminder that these types of people are always cycling through chaos and crisis. There are lulls in the who, what, and why, but entrenched family dynamics are hard to break, it always seems to come back around and they don't seem to change just the landscape does.  

Comments

classyNJ's picture

I joined in 2014 and since then we are now empty nesters.  The boys are now 25 and STB21, but I will not delete my account.

As DH says, the bigger (older) they are, the bigger the problems.

I am still here and read daily.  Helps with navigating girl friends, their job problems and soon to come weddings and grandkids.  I learn something new every day!

Noway2b1's picture

It's even helped me set some expectations and boundaries around my young adult son who has lived with us from 16yrs to 21. It helps me see things from my DHs perspective but also see how easy in some respects it's been. It also helps me not be the enabling BM to my son and also not be a  parent like my DH is. 
 

I see shades of what life would have been like if DH had kids/teens at home and also that years down the road those unhealthy relationships are still impacting spouses in the sunset years. 

Yesterdays's picture

I haven't deleted my account but I deleted the blogs. I wish I still had my older ones. I thought things were on the down low with step daughter then...bam!!! Now there's contact with her again and it all starts up again. From a distance this time Smile

 

Well I was on here as stepmomnorth and did delete that account as I worried the steps would find it. 

missgingersnap2021's picture

I deleted my blogs too (and still do) becase I am afraid DH may see them. We share the same ffice and OMG if I ever had this screen up and forgot to close it and he walked in. YIKES!!!!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

There are members who post again after a few years. Things have been good with my skids for over 2 years now. BioHo, on the other hand... why these women don't give up is beyond me. *dash1*

Exjuliemccoy's picture

I deleted my first account, but wish I hadn't. It chronicled a lot of personal growth regarding step dynamics, and on difficult days it would be nice to be able to read those old blog posts and see proof of how far I've come.

OP is spot on about entrenched dysfunctional family dynamics and cycling through the same ol' poo. This is why it's crucial we focus on changing ourselves rather than trying to change others.

Kloewent's picture

I have only been on for a short time, but perhaps there is a way to backup your blogs. Not sure, but might be worth checking.

Rags's picture

years.

I have not. I am glad I have not.

There are a number of former community members who are no longer here. A few I believe have passed.

Some of their stuff can still surface upon occassion when someone comments on an historical topic or thread.

There has been many cyclical shifts in the nearly 15yrs I have been a STalker.  Sadly, nothing ever seems to remain in the past. Some fresh situation will occasionally resurrect struggles that other STalkers have suffered in the past.

That is a primary reason why I have not left.  Experience is a resource we can all provide to support each other and others who join.

For the most part, my blended family life has been blessed.  Our challenges were always the toxic SpermClan.  My DW is amazing, our son (SS-30 who I raised from my own from 2yo and adopted at 22 at his request) is a man of character, honor, standing and performance as an adult.  Aside from some teen boy brain farts and some crossover toxicity from SpermLand visitations SS was a easy going kid who was not overly infuriating. For the most part anyway.

Together the three of us have overcome the influence of the SpermClan's shallow and polluted gene pool and kept them in the periphery since SS aged out from under the CO 12+ years ago and have lived well.  Which is what has been the best for the three of us... and the best revenge  and protection against the toxic SpermClan as SS navigates his successful adult life.