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Is this weird or is it just DH and I that think so?

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

Many of you know the whole story of SD's visit over winter break and the cell phone that came with SD. When that phone came with SD, there were no photos of BM's DH in any capacity, no contact for BM's DH, etc. wasn't sure if BM was really married to her DH or if it was all for benefits. SD did not come with a phone for spring break at all. Then for summer break SD not only came with a phone, but it has BM's DH saved in the phone, texts between SD's sister and BM's DH, and photos of BM's DH with SD and family photos of BM, SD, SD's sister, and BM's DH. So basically winter break there was no trace or evidence of BM's DH who she has been married to since August 2020 - January 2021, not sure when they got married just know it was in that time frame. 

To make matters even stranger to both DH and I, BM goes by on all her social media as her maiden name, her license still has DH's last name, but on all school and medical paperwork is her DH's last name. So her instagram is public, only pictures of herself, SD, and SD's sister. Then her facebook is like half public and half private, you can see photo after photo she has shared of SD and SD's sister, some with BM in it too, but no public photos of her DH on her facebook. She either made the wedding album she had of them as private or she took that off, but then has photos still of her and my DH, family photos of them and the girls, photos of my DH with SD and/or SD's sister. 

Meanwhile there is no public presence of BM's DH anywhere, but there still is of my DH on her page. However, you know my DH abused her and even she claimed raped her, etc. basically anything and everything awful you could say about a man in today's society except she never claimed he sexually abused the children, even though she claimed he physically abused them. My DH is this awful man she told both the court and anyone/everyone she could, but yet your DH has been hiding in the shadows for a long time and still kind of is. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't bother me anymore, I am married to DH and I am totally secure. It bothers DH a bit because of all the awful things she has said and accused him of especially publicly, but knows it is best to not say anything about any of it to her. So is all of this weird or are DH and I the only ones that think it is weird?

Plus SD mentioned this other child that is living with her again and called him her brother. So I asked SD, oh who is child's mother? SD said "I don't know, he had a mom, but he doesn't anymore." Then I said oh okay, well who is his dad? SD said "I don't know who his dad is either. He is like my brother and he is like my friend." Again, BM oversharing on all this stuff she doesn't need to share, but no mention when she sent the moving letter about the child who is living in her sunroom with a curtain up as a wall/door separating the room, but mentioned everyone else moving with her. Again, as long as there isn't any issues where this child would be harmful to SD, it is not really any of our business, but just knowing if we did ask BM about it, would probably be more shady responses with no truth to it.

Comments

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

moved to that state on June 2 from several states away I doubt it. I wouldn't think they would want someone who just moved into a new home from states away to foster a child before they settled into their house less than a months time.

Livingoutloud's picture

I think DH needs to ask who is the boy who lives with them. It's important. Is it a relative? What is his age? I think DH could ask in writing that SD shared there is a boy living behind a curtain and he wants to know who that is. It's weird and bothersome.

id not worry about social media, I am happily married but j hate social media. My DH posts some stuff but he isn't allowed to post  my pictures. I don't want my pics on social media. It could be that her DH doesn't want to have his pics posted so he asked her not to. Sometimes people have ex's pics because they just didn't bother with it. It's just there. Doesn't mean people are still in love with their ex. It's just not on their radar. Last names are often used interchangeably. There are some places where I still have my previous last name, my first husband's name. It takes forever to change things. 

none of it seems to be of any importance for me BUT some boy living with them is important. I'd want to know who lives with my kid! What if it's a grown man? Rooomate? We had a poster on here who had a grown up roommate living in THEIR bedroom. Sleeping right there in the same room. Creepy stuff 

 

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

Yeah, it is just figuring out how to ask it because if you seem as if you are slightly coming at BM she will be more inclined to lie, but if you are nice about it and seem to be kind, BM is more inclined to share information. Unfortunately sometimes it opens a can of worms and then she never shuts up.