Therapy Appointment Update
DH ended up emailing SD's therapist the day before her appointment asking if she would like DH to send over information regarding her history, etc. The therapist said she would apprecaite another perspective and information about SD in DH's home. So DH and I worked together to send an email that touched on what we felt was important, but did not point fingers at BM or mention anything SD has been told by BM like the "kidnapping" etc. instead we put "I am not sure if there has been conflicting information provided or if SD has come to her own thoughts on the situation and it is difficult for me to help her navigate this confusion from so far away and unknowing what she knows/thinks."
This isn't family court, it is about SD, helping SD, so there is no reason to go on the whole he said, she said, other than looking petty, so we provided facts strictly.
The therapist emailed DH today after completing SD's assessment with the below information:
-"I identified that SD has some difficulty communicating her feelings and appropriately managing them during times she feels stressed."
-"For example, you noted some pouting and crying with homework in your email to me. This was echoed in moms concerns during the assessment yesterday. I feel that these issues are due to SD's lack of confidencen in herself and her desire to please others."
-"SD's mother reports that her goal for SD is to "reduce the emotional meltdowns and find a way to better manage her feelings."
-"Discharge will be considered when SD and her family report an improvement in her ability to handle stressful situations 5 out of 7 times over a 90 day period."
-"My suggestion for the summer is for you and your wife to spend loads of positive time with SD, however don't tip toe around issues. Calm conversations with lots of positive reinforcement is important for her. I believe everyone is already doing this, however something in SD is struggling with feeling good about herself during times of upset."
So then DH responded and also said "Obviously the time she spends over here is less than the time she spends at her mothers and we have witnessed the pouting, crying, and shutting down, but only a handful of times in the last year total while here. I was wondering how often or common it is when she is not here?"
The therapist just responded "SD's behaviors at home are occuring a few times a week. This makes sense that they don't occur often at your home, as it is a new enviornment and she doesn't have those routine external stresses such as school and her sister present."