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SD Update & Other Updates

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

DH and I have been doing a pretty good job on not focusing so much on SD. SD had her surgery, all went well with the surgery. DH had an awful attempt at a phone call days after the surgery when trying to check in on SD. Basically BM had given SD her phone to play a game on before DH called during the time he had requested, DH couldn't get more than 5 words out of SD because guess what? SD was busy playing a game on BM's phone during the phone call and we only know this because DH messaged BM requesting SD to not be distracted for the 5-10 minute phone calls he makes to her especially since he was trying to find out how she was from the surgery. BM basically said she can't control what SD does during the phone calls, all she did was give SD her phone right before the phone call and SD had been playing a game, etc. and it is on SD if she is distracted during the call. SD missed an additional 3 days of school due to pain she was having.

SD's report card came in and she didn't do much better than the previous report card. The box was checked for conference requested by the teacher, but DH did not email SD's teacher since we have a virtual meeting regarding SD in 4 weeks time and since we won't have SD during that timeframe there isn't anything more he can do for SD before the end of the year. Other than the phone call nonsense and asking how SD's post surgery appointment was, DH has not communicated at all with BM and is not going to other than scheduling phone calls with SD. BM has messaged once a day for the past 3 days on dumb stuff, SD's school spring photos are available for order (which we already knew based on the emails we have received from the photography company), that SD went back to school Monday (which we knew since DH checked the attendance for SD on the parent portal), and that SD's report card came out (which we knew the week before because it posted on the parent portal and we uploaded to the CO app under education), AKA probably to make it look like she is "communicating information" and such. Whatever, not letting it bother us and other than responding "okay" to today's message, haven't said a word back.

DH and I decided we are going to stop with the ovulation tests and just let nature take it's course regarding trying to get pregnant. I think it has been stressing us out too much especially since last time I got 7 high days, but no peak days, etc. so it is just making it more stressful. So instead we are making love every other day at the least. I did look at the app for tracking ovulation and supposedly I am to be ovulating during our honeymoon so happy about that. Hopefully the letting go and letting it happen when it happens is better for us. If we still aren't pregnant after a year of trying, we will go see a doctor though, but for now just seeing what happens.

I have been really busy with other interests lately and that has been really nice rather than focusing on the SD situation and for the most part we haven't even discussed anything regarding steplife really which has been really nice. We had turned the notifications on for the CO app because of SD's surgery, but today turned that back off too since BM started sending these dumb messages that don't need to be seen the moment she sends them, rather DH will just check the app to see if she messaged. So yeah, been going pretty well putting focus and energy elsewhere. So hopefully nothing dramatic happens between now and the May school meeting so we can enjoy the next few weeks and just focus on getting everything ready for our cruise next month. 


Harry's picture

Your dealings with BM and SD is ever going to change?  BM is playing a game,and she it winning,  Forgot about SD, that DH problem.  You try to make a life for yourself 

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

but we can change how it impacts our lives and not letting it take away from positive happenings in our life. 

I do care about SD so at this point I can't forget about SD, but both DH and I can spend less energy getting frustrated and upset over things that unforunately we cannot change such as we cannot make BM be a better parent or stop lying, etc. Just been working on letting it roll off

floralsm's picture

My DH is FIFO 7:7 roster so I have 2/4 weeks we can do the dance to make a baby haha. Super frustrating if I ovulate and he isn't even here! My cycle is super long though so sometimes i wonder if my ovulation is regular anyway. I've never bothered to track it before. Oh well I have my fingers and toes crossed for both of us and hopefully one of us is successful soon Smile !