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SD missed her flight

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

So ten minutes before the flight was supposed to take off, I get a phone call from the airline asking if SD will be making her flight, the plane is leaving in 10 minutes. So then I call DH that he needs to call BM and find out what the hell is going on because I need to call them back. DH calls BM and she doesn't answer, he calls me and then he calls a BM a couple more times. BM hands the phone to SD to talk upon answering. Finally DH gets BM on the phone and she says that SD missed the flight because she left two hours ahead like over the summer and there was an accident, excuse, excuse, excuse and the airline is re-booking the ticket and SD missed her flight today. First of all BM lives 45 minutes away from the airport without traffic. It is the week of Christmas and it is outside of Washington D.C. which ALWAYS has traffic especially during the holidays.

So supposedly they rebooked SD's ticket without charging us for another ticket, but the $50 companion fee has to be repaid. First DH asked if they are charging him for a new ticket, etc. BM had no idea, no information. Knew nothing. So BM went back to the airport attendant and they told her the $50 fee just needs to be repaid.

An hour and a half before this, I thought about messaging BM as DH to make sure SD was on her way, etc. and I refrained so DH doesn't look like he is micro managing or high conflict. So now SD is arriving tomorrow around a similar time as my parents and siblings, like a 20-30 minute difference if everything is on time. 

Right now DH and I are pretty mad. At least SD is coming tomorrow versus at a later date. DH and I are requesting BM pay the $50 fee since it was her unpreparedness that caused SD to miss her flight. Just so typical it isn't even funny. 
 

Now that DH and I calmed down following this whole ordeal, we realize shit happens. It is 50% BM's fault and 50% not. Should BM of left earlier? Yes. Should BM of communicated the information? Yes. Is it her fault there was an accident and traffic? Nope. Comes down to what a few people have been saying about her she is lazy and disorganized. BM is getting karma already by the fact she has to do the whole airport thing all over again and that in itself makes it better. Poor SD though who has to also do it all over again.

Comments

SeeYouNever's picture

BM inconvenienced everyone, including herself. Now she has to spend 2 days in a row driving and waiting at the airport. The fact that she didn't call to let your DH know that SD wouldn't be making the flight.... I don't understand. I can't even get into the headspace of the type of person who would do that. Even if she was busy fighting with the airline attendant she still could have spared 5 seconds to send a message to DH to let him know that SD wasn't going to be able to make it

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

Because now we only have to go to the airport once. However, we get one less day now with SD. 
 

it comes down to poor planning and being very inconsiderate. BM should of communicated the news to DH like you said while either in the car via a phone call or a message while at the ticket counter, not wait for the airline to call us 10 minutes before take off. 

CastleJJ's picture

At least you know SD is coming and BM isn't using the tonsil issue or COVID to prevent visitation. You will still get to see her. You are right, life happens, and this is one of the hardships of living long distance; dealing with airline delays or other issues that don't happen locally. I remember when DH was delayed picking up SS once out of state due to a horrendous car accident that shut down the freeway for hours. What should have been an 8 hour round-trip drive turned into a 12.5 hour round-trip drive and time lost with SS. Total bummer losing a day with SD, but it is what it is and you just learn to roll with it. 

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

on the extended car ride. DH and I have added on several hours going to and from my parents for the holidays over the years due to accidents especially when everyone has this holiday rush that they need to get somewhere faster than traffic is allowing and causes more traffic. 

It really comes down to bad planning. We are lucky that SD's flight was able to be rebooked to today. We now have 1 trip to make to the airport. My family and SD's flight is supposed to land 10 minutes apart and are flying the same airline so should be same terminal. We get to go beyond security to get SD at the gate so we will be able to grab everyone and help them to their bags and then to our cars. So BM actually made life easier on us, but still sucks to lose a day. BM is getting karma for her poor choices so I can't do better than that.

shamds's picture

Its upto bio mum to anticipate delays on the way to the airport and pre empt them bar a cyclone or something. Car accidents happen all the time, if she left early enough, checked traffic etc she would jave been aware if any accidents enroute to airport and been able to take another route. 
 

she is responsible for the $50 due to her lack of preparedness. 

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

totally agreed! Anyone who has lived in Northern Virginia for over 6 months KNOWS that traffic is miserable and can have significant delays at any time and ESPECIALLY during the holiday time. Using the same planning as a flight on a random weekend in the summer is not the plan to be using when it is 5 days until Christmas. So many people travel through that area to drive to where they are going for the holidays alone, plus the daily commuting that goes on, and then add Christmas week into it? 

Whatever, she has to do it all over again and pay the fee, so there is no need for DH or I to harp on the subject. She messed up and she will be paying for it in both time and money today.

tog redux's picture

BM has to drive into DC two days in a row! Hahahaha. That is good karma. 

Good for you for adjusting how you think about it though, and not jumping to assume BM is alienating. And yes, she should pay the $50. 

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

I was not happy when I was sitting on the plane at the Philadelphia airport trying to get back to WA over the summer because a storm delayed it so long that I was going to miss my connecting flight in TX so I would have to stay in a city I know no one or never been and wait for a flight back to PDX the next day. I got off the plane and rebooked for the next day, stayed with my family and I was NOT happy about going back to the airport the following day to do it all over again. So I bet having to do it all over again because of not planning properly is even less fun. 

ESMOD's picture

Ughhh... we flew into dulles the other week at 4:30 on a weekday.. about the WORST time to try to get out of NOVA..haha.  We were lucky and it only added an hour to our 3 hour drive.  

We drove there vs another airport 2 hours away because we wanted direct flights.. avoiding the connection time and the risk that goes up when you have more than one flight was still worth it.. but I am hoping we don't have to do that too much.  The other airport does have directs too.. just not daily.. so it doesn't always match up.

If you live in the NOVA region you have to know that traffic is unpredictable.. you must build in extra time when you factor in traffic... airport security etc... We usually plan to get to the airport 1.5 to 2 hours before our flight.  sure it can be a bit boring.. but just in case.. it gives us peace of mind.

It doesn't sound like BM factored in near enough time.. I think they suggest like 2 hours prior to your domestic flight... I can't believe that she would have really missed the flight if she had planned with that window in mind.

But.. yeah.. she is one person.. two small children.. I can see it being a challenge to get out the door.

tog redux's picture

We leave two hours to get to a small airport 20 minutes away in a medium-sized city. BM is a fool. 

ESMOD's picture

Yeah... This is one of those times when being late just isn't acceptable.  I mean.. yeah.. I get traffic... but if she had left planning to be at the airport the full 2 hours prior to boarding.. she would probably have gotten the kid on the flight.

I work with a guy that says if his butt hits the seat in the airport.. he is too early.  I just can't cut it that close.. and our normal airport is a smaller city too...  and we have tsa precheck/global entry.. so we usually don't have any issues with security.. but you never know right?

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

least 2 hours before flights to ensure they can answer the health agreement and make it through security. My parents are flying out of Newark Airport today and they had to schedule a time to go through security. 

Leaving 2 hours before a flight when being 45 minutes away thinking that an hour and fifteen minutes gurantees getting to the airport, parking, checking in at the desk (you have to when flying unaccompanied minor), getting through security and being at the gate to be boarded 15 minutes before everyone else just simply is not enough time with NO traffic. Especially 5 days before Christmas!

I hate Dulles airport personally. I always flew out of DCA, but DCA doesn't have nearly as many options as Dulles especially direct I agree. It is not like we asked BM to drive to Dulles airport which that is probably 1.5 - 2 hours from BM. 

BM has lived in the NOVA area for almost 5 years now, it was just piss poor planning. DH nicely asked BM to please make sure to leave in plenty of time for today's flight and supposedly she is going to let us know when she leaves for the airport. So we shall see how today goes. 

All SD has to bring with her is a carry on for the plane ride, so it isn't like SD needs to check a bag or pack a bag or anything. Crossing our fingers that SD actually makes today's flight.

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

there is going to be some major issues going on. There is literally no excuse of why SD can't make it on the plane

bananaseedo's picture

I have missed some flights in my life for sure.  My dad always wanted to arrive a bazillion hours early to the airport, that turned me off and I tend to be the one that cuts it really close instead.  That said, for something like this, yeah, should have left way earlier.  Some things just go unexpected though, its' life as you said.   On the bright side, you only have to make one trip to the airport to pick everyone up! 

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

on my comments on here about BM's lack of appropriate planning so I won't do it again, lol. She is getting karma for it and I doubt it will happen again since she is paying the price both in time and money. 

Yep! they land 10 minutes apart if all land on time so made it easier for us

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Has your DH considered asking for an extra day since BM's foolishness cost him a day of visitation?

I definitely would.

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

An extra day for summer. We can't really extend the trip for Christmas or spring break because of school

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

She is

Thumper's picture

My x and I would call eachother "HEY we are on the road to the airport,,,,bye"

"HEY we are INSIDE the airport, BYE"

"HEY they just boarded the plane---bye'

I would be on the horn RIGHT NOW, to see where BM is..like right now. Thats just me.

 

 

 

 

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

but won't help anything

She messaged a little bit ago and said they left her house at 2:50 pm their time and the flight takes off at 6:45 pm their time so should be no excuses