SD and the early birthday
SD told us yesterday in the car when talking about birthdays that she had an early birthday at BM's before coming. DH asked SD what she got for her birthday. SD said she got make up, some barbies, and more make up, "I got a lot of make up for my birthday." DH then asked if it was pretend/play make up or real make up. SD says "it was real make up like grown ups wear."
What parent gives a child that is turning 6 a lot of make up for their birthday or really any make up for their birthday?
DH and I then told SD how she is beautiful and she does not need make up, etc. It would be one thing if it was make up that was to play with at home even though it was real, but in the CPS report we got a copy of a couple people from the school voiced their concern that SD's sister was coming to school everyday with a full face of make up. So now we won't even buy SD pretend make up or encourage it any way, shape or form, until she gets older and we think it is appropriate for her the wear make up.
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When SD was 12 we got her
When SD was 12 we got her makeup for Christmas. One of those sets with a little of everything, not too expensive and not toy makeup but not "real" makeup either. I saw it more like training makeup, for her to play with in a more serious way than the glittery toy stuff. I got a similar gift when I was that age and played and practiced with it before I dared to wear anything outside. We also put in a bunch of fun lip gloss.
It seemed age appropriate but BM took it away. SD just turned 15 and has debuted with full face Kardashian makeup. I guess to BM there is no slow transition.
I think 12 is a very appropriate age and
completely think what you and your DH gave her was great. Probably wasn't actually her age, but more that BM wasn't the one to give it or have the idea.
My mom doesn't really wear make up so when I was in 8th grade I was allowed mascara and had a little compact of some powder, but no eyeliner or anything like that until I was in high school. Always wore drug store make up too for the most part until I got to college and was paying for it myself. Now I do a mix of drug store and more expensive types, I have preferences on my eyeliner and foundation and spend a lot on that, but the rest I am not so picky and can go either way on eyeshadow and mascara.
DH and I talked more about it last night and agreed high school was appropriate, but still not encouraging anything crazy. For special events all the make up, sure, but everyday, don't need much!
Real makeup is so expensive
Real makeup is so expensive these days I wouldnt be giving a kid any of it at 6.
I did buy my toddler a pink blush brush to play with because she always wants to play with mine. I have a feeling she is going to want it early, I don't know why since I don't even wear much.
Uh yeah it is
I remember when DH went with me the first time to Ulta and I needed my foundation and my eyeliner which together alone is $70. He was like well you'll be paying for your make up because that is ridiculous. Now we are married and have a joint account so doesn't work that way, but I explained to him that $70 is nothing compared to what others spend plus I only need refills every 3 months or so because I don't wear it everyday.
Growing up I had pretend make up like the plastic not even real at all and we don't even want to buy that for SD because we don't want to encourage that. Heck, SD doesn't even have youtube kids on her tablet because we don't want her watching mindless videos like we know 100% she does at BM's with her sister. Feel like we need to overprotect her some times because BM is a very free parent about anything and everything.
SD is 8 and knows there is no
SD is 8 and knows there is no makeup for her allowed in our home. DH is strict on that, and I fully support that. I found lipstick in her school bag from Toxic BMs. Seriously wtf? She was 7 at the time. I deal with a toxic HCBM so I think it was planted there to get a reaction out of us but we ignored it. When SD says she wears makeup at Mummy's I don't even comment anymore. DH tells her she doesn't need that on her young face and not to bring it here. It's been a while now since we have heard anything of makeup related thankfully.
That is good that you ignored it
We have learned to ignore a lot of things and even though we disagree that SD should of been given make up when turning 6, nothing good would come from it. We don't want her trying to dictate things in our household more than she already tries so unless it is safety, medical, or educational related we stay out of it.
We made the mistake of
We made the mistake of putting our foot down when it came to one of the skids and makeup. Pushing back just made BM introduce her to more and more makeup (like eye liner on a 5yo) while telling her DH would be mad at her. When we introduced makeup in our house, all of that stopped immediately. Looking back I wish it wasn't a hill we choose.
I would be glad BM got real make up instead of the pretend stuff. The fake stuff isn't FDA regulated and can cause adverse reactions.
Since we don’t say anything to BM
And anything to SD beyond saying she's beautiful and doesn't need make up. BM has no idea if we are against it or for it or what. If she put any in SD's bag wouldn't even matter because once SD gets to our house, the backpack she comes with sits in a closet until the day before SD leaves. The day she comes we empty the water bottle and throw away any open and unfinished snack, but otherwise she doesn't need anything in there while with us