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First Christmas with SD

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

So yesterday I realized that this is the first Christmas I will be having with SD. This is DH and I's 4th Christmas, but BM has ALWAYS gotten SD for Christmas. The first two years DH took either Christmas eve or the day before and let BM have Christmas day because it wasn't worth the drama. I was at my parents that first year and DH, the two kids, and I celebrated a few days after Christmas together, the second year I was in FL until Christmas eve and the kids were already at BM's when I flew back, last year it was BM's year because she gets even years and DH gets odd years. So this is the first Christmas actually spent with SD. I am excited to spend it with her and I know my family is too because they also have given her Christmas gifts either early or late never on Christmas.

Dh and I are trying to figure out what we want to do in regards to the whole Santa situation. We are pretty sure BM does the whole Santa thing based off what SD has said. DH and I when we have an ours child want to do the whole Santa thing so it would make sense when getting SD every other Christmas to do Santa this year. We are thinking of the stockings being the thing "from Santa," but we are trying to decide if that is how we want to do it with an ours child. Either way, we have 5 days to figure that part out. I don't know how everyone else handles that between the houses?

Comments

tog redux's picture

Can't speak to the Santa thing because SS already knew it wasn't real when I met him. But enjoy your Christmas with SD! When does she get there, or is she there already?

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

She's coming in tonight! We will have a day with her before my parents and siblings come in. Well I'll have a day with her because DH will be working. We ended up buying her clothes ahead. But tomorrow I'll be taking her shoe shopping. Then she will here until January 2nd

ndc's picture

My SDs still believe in Santa. What we do is whoever has the girls for Christmas does Santa.  I have no idea how BM splits Santa and other gifts, but we do a couple gifts and a stocking from Santa and the rest from us.  We also do stockings on December 6, which is tradition in my family, and I know BM doesn't do that.  Skids have never questioned why St. Nick comes to our house and not BM's.

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

Yeah that makes sense. We just wanted to decide on something and stick to it across the board since we are going to have at least one ours baby. When we talked to her a couple of days ago she was saying about elves and Santa. I was like oh yeah we don't have a tradition in place yet so we should think of what we want ours to be !

CastleJJ's picture

We have only had SS for one Christmas prior to this one and we did the whole Santa thing. BM later communicated that "Santa" came to her house too that year, so SS believed that Santa comes to both homes and we just rolled with it. BM had an elf on the shelf at her house and we also wanted to participate, so we bought our own. The rule was that our elf only came for the duration SS was with us from December 1st until December 24th. If he was only with us a weekend, our elf only came for the weekend. If SS didn't come that year or only came for Thanksgiving, the elf "stayed at the north pole" because there was no child in our house to report on. Now that SS no longer believes in Santa, he requested that we pass his elf down to his new sister. 

You can decide what works best for you - Santa only comes to your house if SD is there or Santa always comes to your house regardless. The choice really is yours. Since your BM is high conflict, I wouldn't try to coordinate with her - just do whatever works for your household and then make that the norm going forward. 

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

I do not know if BM does elf on the shelf, but if she does, we plan on saying the elf is at the north pole getting ready for Christmas. Not getting an elf on the shelf for 5 days before Christmas. You are right, we definitely are NOT going to be asking BM how she does anything at her house. If BM does do Santa like we suspect that Santa comes to both houses, if he doesn't then he comes to our house. Easy peezy lemon squeezy. 

Then when we do have an our baby, I would like to do the elf on the shelf or something like it. Luckily that sort of stuff we can figure out when we do have an ours baby and for now just do the stocking is from santa and go from there.

Oh! That is very sweet of SS!