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BM is trying to blackmail DH now

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

After all the accusations and nasty comments BM made, DH told BM that SD also says things about her and her household that concern DH. Well now BM is in panic mood and avoided answering DH's question on calling SD, so after 3 more lengthy paragraphs of harassment from BM, all DH did was re-ask about calling SD and BM responded that she wasn't going to discuss him calling SD until he shared specifics of what issues SD has said about her and her household. 

So basically BM is trying to blackmail DH into revealing what SD has said in confidence and hold his contact with SD hostage until he does so. Uh, yeah not going to happen. DH called her out and asked if she's denying his rights to access to SD and blackmailing him. Waiting to see the response but we aren't going to share that info, at most DH will say he shared those issues with the therapist who is a third party who SD might be the most honest with since she's not trying to please either parent in talks with the therapist especially since last time DH brought something up SD said BM called her a pretty great liar.


ICanMakeIt's picture

Rookie mistake - DH took the bait and now has made a bigger mess. Never engage and offer info like that to a High Conflict BM. Only share what is necessary - pick up drop off times etc. keep your household SD safe space. This BM is gonna make the kids life hell. I'm so sorry she is relentless - parallel parenting is what worked for us. Co parenting is not a thing for everyone. 

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

but there is always times BM wants something or wants to know something, etc. that she is trying to "co-parent" but she doesn't really ever want to co-parent she just wants to control everything and have DH agree with her

Survivingstephell's picture

SD must have gone back really excited about her time with you , so much do she won't stop talking about it.  

 I agree with the rookie mistake.   If she continues, maybe throw out revisiting the custody arrangements and if it's too much for BM, he'd be more then happy to take over with full custody. That usually shuts  them down.   Are the two of them using Online Wizard for communication? I can't remember.  

DH might also remind BM that hey, I was married /with you long enough to know you.  I'm not playing your game.  Take SD out of it and put it back onto the co-parenting relationship.  

These HCBM never stop until there is nothing more to win.   

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

are calling CPS on her every 6 months and so she is angry, but in reality it is not us!

I think we are going to have to go to court to sort everything out, sooner rather than later. They use App Close which is a court ordered communication app.

Harry's picture

So what if she angrily and trying to blackmail.  You can not let her have her way. And yes she is having her own way and you are venting. Time for back to court