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Annoyances

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

Not directly step related, more just kid related honestly. So I went away for the past 4 days to the bachelorette party for my friend getting married in August. While I was gone, SD was in camp playing all day with kids on Friday, DH took her to the zoo, got a couple new things at the store, and DH played with her basically all day Saturday, went out and did things and DH's friend came over and they played some games with SD on Sunday plus a little bit of tablet time, and then Monday was all day at camp playing with other kids. So today, she is home with me in the morning before going to tutoring and so I told her to play in her room since she hasn't played in her room for 4 days. I walk by her bedroom door to go to the bathroom and see her laying on her bed playing with her feet. Like she has a whole room of toys and tons to do and is in there acting so bored after an hour of playing in her room. When I go into said bathroom I haven't been in there since before SD woke up and I go to fix my hair, in there 10 seconds and SD says when I am done can she go to the bathroom? Like in the 2.5 hours she has been awake had to go to the one bathroom in our apartment the 10 seconds I go to use the bathroom. I know it is typical kid stuff just super irritating. I asked SD if she didn't want to play with any of the toys in her room and she said she would after she went to the bathroom. I told her if she doesn't want to play with her room full of toys, we could donate those to other kids who don't really have toys and would love to play with them. So now she is in her room playing with toys just fine.

Maybe not the nicest move, but I am slightly grumpy and I know she hasn't played in her room in 4 full days so she is totally capable of entertaining herself until lunch while I do some work. After having a couple days of constant entertainment she has gotten into this mood like I am bored unless I am being entertained by someone else and DH and I are trying to change that attitude.

Comments

justmakingthebest's picture

My kids never really played in their rooms growing up. The toys always were brought out to main areas where other people were. They had to put them away when they were done, of course, but the playing was in the main parts of the house. 

I don't think many kids really play a lot in their rooms alone. 

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

as did my cousins alone. I think part of the problem is she has a sibling at BM's house whereas here we do not have any ours children yet. She does play with the cat in her room and the other two dogs throughout the house, but sometimes gets a bit wild so I wanted her to play in her room for the 2 hours while I caught up on work after being out for two days especially knowing she hasn't had any time to play with her toys. 

CastleJJ's picture

SS10 is used to being constantly entertained, if not by BM and GF, then by school, daycare, sports, his friends, his neighbors, etc. SS said there is always something to do and always someone to entertain him. If BM and GF can't or if he doesn't have school or activities, he just goes to one of the ten kids who live in the neighborhood and at least one of them can always play. That is the issue with overscheduling every aspect of a kid's life - they cant handle being bored or having to entertain themselves. So when I tell him to go play, he ends up doing stupid stuff. 

SS' friend came over to our house during his last visit. I told them both to go play. All the sudden, they are being suspicious and walking up and down the stairs. I questioned what they were doing and they said "playing catch with friend's cell phone." WTH! No, you are not throwing a cell phone in my house. Why don't you go find one of the million toys you have and play with those. I come upstairs and they are tossing a pillow. I swear kids nowadays cannot entertain themselves. When I was their age, I could entertain myself for hours, riding my bike, playing with Barbies, drawing, etc. Not today's kids - it's video games or nothing. They have no imagination. 

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

Both DH and I firmly believe a child especially at SD's age does not need to be constantly entertained and can find things to do on their own. At BM's house she constantly has someone to play with and from what we hear and what we know, it sounds like the children just do whatever they want. 

You and I sound very alike because last week, if it gets quiet or different then usual, I wonder what is SD doing. Same thing for my year old puppy really, LOL

Felicity0224's picture

Haha it's good for kids to be bored! You did the right thing by not breaking down and entertaining her.

DD8 and I are the only people in our home probably 95% of the time during the Summer and she exclusively plays in her room because I'm a mean mom and won't allow toys in other parts of the house lol. The art supplies are in a hall closet but she takes what she wants into her room and puts it back when she's done. Sometimes I'll walk by and she's just sitting in there in total silence and it used to make me worry that she might be lonely, but I found that if I don't interject she'll snap out of it and start doing something within a few minutes.

We read and play games or watch movies together in the evenings, but she knows that during the day it's her responsibility to entertain herself while I work and she's very happy to do so. This has been our standard day to day (before she started school and in the summers since) since she was around three years old. I really do think it's benefited her because she never complains about boredom and has an incredibly active imagination. And also when she has friends or family over, she truly appreciates the time she has with them and is great about sharing and compromising. 

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

SD goes to camp 3 days a week and tutoring the other two so when she is at camp she is there right as DH and I are about to work and then when she is picked up we are done work so she has full entertainment on those days. The two days she has tutoring I start work at 7 am and let her sleep until 9 am, by the time she ate breakfast at the table with me, went to the bathroom, got dressed, made her bed, etc. it is only 2 hours until DH is home for his hour lunch break and then 40 minutes after that she goes to tutoring for 2 hours. So it is really a little less than 3 hours for her to entertain herself. Typically I let her play around the house, etc. but having two days off you would of thought I was on vacation for 2 weeks, just too busy to be distracted and interrupted.

Next time I should just let her do her own thing and see what happens, but I walked by and thought to myself "omg you have so many toys you haven't even played with any of them in days." LOL

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Bored = Chores

Funny how kids will always find something to do when chores are the alternative!

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

chores and helping out! So I can't even use that because she is just our little helper ALL the time.

But maybe when she is older it will actually be a threat!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Too bad you can't give her safety scissors to trim the grass along the sidewalk... *crazy*

floralsm's picture

When the skids are bored I ignore them and eventually they find something to do. SD is really good playing in her room but SS likes being out watching tv or on his iPad. Probably at that age where he enjoys gaming and watching footy. The thing that irritates me is when SD is bored she hangs around my pantry for food. This then gets my DD1 wanting food and the same food SD gets. Ughhh. I make her grab fruit and my DD happily gets a banana and SD makes a face. Whatever she can't be that hungry then haha.