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Your pity party won’t work on me...

NotSoStepStepmom's picture

Last night around midnight, I walked out of my bedroom and SD (almost 10) stood in the hallway looking like a deer caught in headlights. I asked her what she was doing and she said she was in the bathroom because she was thirsty. I was confused, but she went to her room and that was that. This morning, I asked her what she was doing and she said that she put her mouth on the faucet to drink water from the bathroom sink. The kitchen is LITERALLY around the corner from the bathroom. Some of you may disagree, but I think that’s stupid. Makes no sense to do that. She shares a bathroom with my kids and I don’t want anyone’s mouth on the freaking faucet!

As I braided her hair this morning, I told her that next time, she needs to walk around the corner to the kitchen and drink from a cup. She immediately looked angry and started moping and looking as pathetic as she possibly could. She started holding her head in weird positions to make it harder for me, and when a small, light mist of hairspray got on the side of her face, she wiped it away angrily and dramatically. She looked like she was trying to make herself cry, like usual... but I guess she was unable to today. I finally got irritated enough to say something and I flat out told her that her pity party stuff doesn’t work with me and never will. I told her that she might as well stop acting like that around me because I’m not like everyone else in her life who constantly seeks her approval, buys her love, and tries to make her believe that she is the center of the universe.

Ten seconds later, she was in the kitchen smiling and cheerily talking to our dog and acting totally fine. Of course.



Aniki's picture

She started holding her head in weird positions to make it harder for me

And THAT is when you STOP braiding her hair. 

NotSoStepStepmom's picture

I tried to stop doing her hair and she started crying in the bathroom one day last week until I went in and did it.

She’s just used to it, I guess. I’ve done her hair cute EVERY SINGLE DAY since her very first day of school ever (Pre-K)! But I told her father on the phone this morning that I really want to stop.

Aniki's picture

So you are allowing her crocodile tears to manipulate you? NO. She can sit and BEHAVE or she's going to school with half-braided hair. 

Aniki's picture

And how old is this girl - 10, I think? That is MORE than old enough to sit quietly while you braid her hair. Next time she pulls her caca, hand her a comb or brush and let her do her own hair. Stop pandering to this budding brat.

NotSoStepStepmom's picture

She was only making it difficult for me because she was mad. She’s almost as tall as me, so it’s already hard for me (unless she’s sitting down, obviously). She was just being a punk.

Aniki's picture

So she's mad. Tell her to call the waaaaaaah-mbulance. EVERYONE gets mad or upset or angry or hurt by things. How we react is the key. Despite you doing it for your "selfish reasons", she is reacting badly, but continues to be rewarded for her bad behavior. 

Jcksjj's picture

Lol we have the same SD again. At our wedding when I tried to do her hair she started screaming and bawling and throwing a fit because "my mom doesnt put my hair in a ponytail." I was trying to curl her hair when she started thrashing around and almost got burned with the curling iron so I said whatever and left it. No time for that that day. That was one of several tantrums that day since people were gathered but not for her.

NotSoStepStepmom's picture

Oh, man. On your wedding day? Not cool! That would piss me off!

My SD loves how I do her hair and she’s used to it and she’s very still when I do it. She knows the drill. But I noticed that lately, when she is upset with me for something, she tries to make it as difficult as possible for me. She never ever did that before now.

It’s annoying. Sad

Aniki's picture

Hon, she's doing it intentionally and pushing your boundaries. And she has learned that, no matter how she acts, you give in

When she is annoying, stop doing her hair. If she cries, tell her that the next time, she needs to sit still, but make her do it herself THIS time.

NotSoStepStepmom's picture

You’re right. I’m going to. She’s going to drive me crazy doing that crap. I already do so much more than I should have to as a SM.

ITB2012's picture

Do not finish her hair. No matter how much you like doing it and want to finish it. You being selfish and finishing is letting her be naughty and get away with it.

There's no guilt in stepping away from a situation in which you are getting mistreated.

NotSoStepStepmom's picture

That’s true. This is the second time that this has happened since last Friday, and I finished with her hair both times. I am not going to next time.