My 1st session was yesterday. It seemed to go well. I was very anxious before going. The thought of having to explain everything to a stranger was very overwhelming to me. But I did it. She asked appropriate questions, although sometimes I really felt all over the place. She was patient though and seemed to follow me. Its a lot to break down in an hour session of what has transpired over the last 2 years. I left and felt ok. Got home, drank a glass of wine and suddenly just felt extremely exhausted. It was weird. Almost a delay it seemed like. I took about a 20 minute nap and then felt fine. Now today I feel out of sorts. Just not really myself. I chose to schedule my next appointment once we return from the house in Florida. One of the things we discussed is my issues with being in the house but planning to paint and redecorate and so on...hoping it'll make a difference for me. 

She agrees that I've been thru A LOT in 2 years and alot of it will just take time to process. She does feel that I've surpressed much of my emotions because I was handing the estate and going thru all the techical stuff, not focusing on myself or emotions or just taking time to grieve on my own terms. Now its all surfacing. I'm hoping to be a little more patient with myself as I try to work thru this...

Now for Easter dinner...Dinner went well. Not ONE single word from any family member regarding SD18 at all. It seemed weird, but obviously I just went with it. It wasn't until everyone was gone and GMA and I were alone that she brought her up. I really feel like she has finally drawn her line in the sand. Both GMA & GPA are angry but also extremely heartbroken. Its truly sad. They revolved their life around that kid and she's basically kicked them in the face. DH said once again. "Leave her alone. Stop trying to talk to her. Stop going over there to check on her." They both said they will no longer do it. 

Time will tell, but I really do feel she's done them in.