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No mention of SD19..thank you Jesus!!

notsobrady's picture

But...my bioS19  was home when I got in yesterday. Saw the Valentine chocolates on the table and asked where they came from. I told him SD19 came by to visit and drop of DH's Christmas gift and she brought the chocolates as well. He asked how that went...so I briefly gave him a summary. He said "Did she tell you what she did on New Years Eve?" I said No, why...

He saw on Roomie's snapchat pictures of SD19 and roomie and a handful of guys all smoking weed and drinking.  

Not a shocker.

So I've kept this info to myself.

Should I tell what BS19 saw or let it go?

Comments

tog redux's picture

I would tell him - I wouldn't feel comfortable keeping secrets from DH about his own kid. And he'd be angry if he found out I did.  

You really need to tell him that you will not live with her there, under any circumstances. Plus - I drank and smoked much younger than 19, is that really a big deal?

notsobrady's picture

I know...and I know he'll say the samething.."Well I was doing worse things at 19.." its always his reasoning.

SteppedOut's picture

This why you don't say anything... pretty sure he at least suspects she is drinking. Even if you told him, he would be "ok" with it. But he may think you are "picking on her". 

thinkthrice's picture

NotsoBrady:  "I see that SD has joined an international terrorist organization and is involved in a recent mass shooting of over 2 dozen innocent victims..."

Biodad: "Weeellll  I was doing WORSE things at that age."

NotsoBrady: (facepalm)

thinkthrice's picture

is if you know for sure that SD will never, ever cross your threshold again and if your H is convinceds she is a hopeless POS.  You can't be sure so best to leave sleeping dogs lie.  In my case I 99% sure that skids are brainwashed forever and would never step foot over my threshold.  If they did they'd be met by me at the door and asked "Can I help you?" aka "Do I know you?"

I mention from time to time the shenanigans that Chef's ferals are up to because he no longer gets tremendously defensive and he knows they are all POS.   The most recent time was almost a year ago that he got defensive when I mentioned that my passed oldest kitty had a bee bee in her butt from the same time that his brats were coming to entitlement session ("visitation") and he KNOWS they had a bee bee gun and he KNOWS he practically had to keep them from shooting each other eyes out and I KNOW that I personally witnesses the Animal Torturer shoot toads in their eyes.

He tried to blame it on the then neighbour kid who was all of 3-4 yrs old at the time!!! 

Chef:   "SD woud neeeveerrr do thaaaat; you just get that thought right ouuuuuut of yoooourrr miiiinnnnnd!"

ndc's picture

Would anything be accomplished by mentioning this to your DH? It seems like he's never been much of a parent to this girl, so it seems unlikely he'll do much of anything about her behaviors now that she's an adult. It'd probably be a "kill the messenger" thing, or an excuse to move her in (god forbid) or pawn her off on his poor parents again. I'd let it go.

justmakingthebest's picture

I am not a fan of keeping secrets from my spouse. Just a simple text with the screen shots and a "Hey, came across this, thought you should be made aware." and leave it at that. 

advice.only2's picture

Personally I would tell him if he brought up her moving back in with you guys, but if it's not brought up then no I would let it go.

notsobrady's picture

I think he assumes... I think for DH to hear that BS19 actually saw it would be another story. But I don't know.