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When is a kid too old to borrow from their parents.

notsobad's picture

Think this would make any difference to those who have DHs that are just open wallets?

https://www.wealthsimple.com/en-ca/magazine/ms-etiquette-parents?utm_sou...

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hereiam's picture

My old car had to be put to sleep, so naturally I asked my parents for help buying a new one.

That cracked me up. Naturally just asked the parents for help buying a new one? That's just the natural solution? That was never the automatic go to for me. I remember my dad telling me, after I bought my first car, to start saving for the next one.

My SD25 (on welfare) once asked DH to "loan" her money to pay her cell phone bill. Um, no, you already have people paying your bills for you. Get a cheaper cell phone plan. Or maybe, get a job.

There's always situations that are exceptions but I don't think it should be a given that one can just borrow from ones parents forever.

nengooseus's picture

My mother is a horrible example, since she's a dreg of humanity, but I will use her for one anyway. Based on her actions, there is no maximum age to "borrow" from your parents! She was "borrowing" money from my grandmother pretty much until Grandma died, when my mother was close to 60. And then she got her inheritance, of course. (I put borrow in quotation marks due to the fact that she never even intended to pay back a dime.)

I have not asked for--or received from her--a penny since I walked out of the house for college at just barely 18.

sunshinex's picture

I think it all depends. In step situations, it's even more difficult, as other posters have mentioned. I think my stepdad handles it fairly well.

My sister and I are totally different people. I'm in my early 20s and I bought my own car, pay all my bills, and have a nice home because I've always worked very hard and make a good amount of money. My sister, on the other hand, is a bit older than me but lives above her boyfriend's parents and smokes weed, so she often doesn't have money left over or she'll put bills after her habits than ask for money.

My stepdad has no problem loaning me money if I run into a bad situation. Once when I was moving and didn't account for all the costs, I was ready to pull out of my retirement savings. My mom told my stepdad and he called me upset with me for not asking him. He asked how much I needed and I told him a fairly large amount and he said don't touch your retirement savings, I'll have a $1000 cheque for you tomorrow.

But with my sister, he refuses to lend her any money or allow my mom to lend her any money because she doesn't know how to prioritize and isn't working to better herself. I think my mom still loans her money without him knowing, but that's another story lol. I think he approaches it the way i'd like to approach it in the future. I won't lend money to kids (whether step or bio) who aren't bettering themselves and responsible.

sunshinex's picture

Also... I would never ask my stepdad and don't feel comfortable asking my mother, either. But if they know i'm in a bind, they're quick to help - followed by a lecture on preventing the situation next time/getting a savings account aside from my retirement savings. Which I have since done lol.

Thumper's picture

Borrow is the key word in the question.

Hey anyone can borrow at any time at any age from any one smart enough to draw up a promissory note and contract outlining when payments will begin, what amount the payments are and duration of these payments.

Signed and notarized.

IF the kid fails repayment, parent can forgive the debt OR take it to small claims court.
Make sure inside the squares of contract (on the paper) is your expectations. Verbal's do not matter.

still learning's picture

When I first married DH everyone in the family was *borrowing* money from him, funny that he never got a payment from anyone. Since our finances were now mingled I put a huge halt to it.

hereiam's picture

That's the way my DH's family is with him. They do not "borrow" from him, they expect it to just be gifted.

still learning's picture

At least they're honest about it. Dh's family actually said "borrow" but nothing ever came back. Within the first few weeks of us being married SIL was about to get her power shut off and needed to "borrow" $300 to keep her power on, DH wrote her a check. ss31 wanted to go to an event and needed to "borrow" $700 and DH went and got cash for him. I swear they were both trying to cash in since he now had a wife.

I checked our joint account and noticed we were THOUSANDS in the hole!!! Daddy Warbucks DH had been busy appeasing his brood since our wedding. DH and I had a come to jesus meeting about borrowing money from the line of credit to "loan" to his relatives, it stopped and the anger at me began.

jmh302's picture

I was 22 the last time i borrowed money. I needed 300 more to set up deposits on utilities (more then i was told by townhall) i borrowed from my uncle. A fetw months later when i tried to repay he told me no that he decided he had made an investment in me.

He stil calls me a great investment because i have never borrowed or asked anything of him or my mom since. I do not get to see him as often as i used to and that makes me sad. For almost 2 years him and i had a weekly dinner after this.

My mom though? Hell she will always owe my uncle $ lol. He just paid to have electric turned back on there and bought groceries because my sister sold her b food stamps and her kods needed food. They also just went together to visit family 8hr drive away and he paid.

Acratopotes's picture

You lot are nice people and have nice parents...

My parents simply said at age 18 after graduating school you are on your own, they refused to co-sign any loans, when we asked for a loan, my dad simply said NO - do I look like a bank? I never borrowed any money from my parents, not even when I bought my house, or my first car or anything else... and I am the same with Deigma...

Sorry kiddo but if mum can do it you can do it,

Acratopotes's picture

I see it differently.... they should live on what they earn.... if they have to borrow money then they are living above their income, sorry I'm Financial person lol.....

Oh I'm not pocketing his rent, It's going onto a trust fund in his name, he does not know about it....
one day when he wants to buy his first house, I will hand it to him, not even for a car, a car is not a need it's a want, you can walk.....

Acratopotes's picture

bonds in this country - no way lol...... to risky

I like the trust fund he earns about 8.2% per month on an average....