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O/T- Dating Profiles Featuring Kids

NoThanks's picture

I just have to say... I think it’s really gross when people use pics with their kids on their dating profiles. It just feels like a thinly-veiled attempt to tug at one’s heart strings and advertise what a wonderful parent they are. That, and it’s probably a strong indicator that these are Disney parents. 

But maybe I should actually be grateful for these profiles. It allows me to not even waste my time on these dudes.  I’m not trying to get to know your kids yet. I don’t think they are soooo adorable. And these pics don’t trick me into thinking you’re a phenominal dad. Stop using your kids as dating pawns. Wack AF. Buh-bye. 

Comments

Monkeysee's picture

I used to love when men included their kids on their online profiles because I could avoid contacting them knowing they had kids lol. My husband & I met online, and he didn’t have anything about his kids on there at all which kind of felt like a trick to me at first. Obviously it didn’t stop me from dating then marrying him, but if I’d known there were kids involved I wouldn’t have gotten involved in the first place. I do sometimes wonder how differently my life would be right now had I stuck to my rule of not dating a man with kids..

NoThanks's picture

Yeah, that’s a little deceptive. At least let people kinda know what they're getting into. Do you resent your DH for that?

IDK, after my last experience dating a guy with kids, I’m really trying to be cautious about how to approach getting involved with a dad. Im not against it but I wont put up with shitty kids or shitty parenting. Honestly, I hope I meet someone who doesnt have kids but we’ll see. 

Monkeysee's picture

I feel a bit resentful at times, though it’s rare. I’m an adult and I made the decision to date him even after being told there were kids to consider. 

Honestly though, if I’d known before meeting him he had kids I still would have passed. We’ve been through a lot of drama. As much as I hold no resentment for his initial deceit, I can’t stand the drama that comes with dealing with his ex. I love my life with him, but life is so much easier when you don’t have to deal with this crap.

NoThanks's picture

Man, it’s like a double-edged sword. The drama is too much at times but you clearly love him and enjoy your life. Maybe it was meant to be that you didnt initially know about the skids. 

Monkeysee's picture

Maybe. I don’t really believe in ‘meant to be’ though. Honestly if you don’t want to date a man with kids I would hold very firm to that rule. Life is always better without the drama

strugglingSM's picture

I agree with the post above, when I was dating, any inclusion of children was a good signal for me to avoid them. DH did not include his kids in his profile, but told me about them on the first date. I almost walked away at that point. I’m glad I didn’t because I love DH and we have a great time together, but the Skid and BM drama is not fun. 

lieutenant_dad's picture

I find it creepy because most free dating apps aren't really for dating anymore. They are hook-up apps. Not that you can't find love and a connection, but most people are there to find a friend for an evening. Adding a pic of your kid only tells me you're fertile, and that's usually not what people want in their hook-up partner (or it's exactly what they're looking for, in which case, bring your own birth control).

Jcksjj's picture

This is what I was thinking. But then maybe I wouldnt even mention kids at first until talking to them for a bit because pedos probably do scan profiles looking for ones with kids to target.

justmakingthebest's picture

I briefly gave online dating a try. I was afraid of a preditor trying to date me to get to my kids, so I didn't put any pictures but I did state that I was mother. I didn't say how old my kids were or their sex.

NoThanks's picture

This is what I did as well. I actually do have 2 kids. One’s an adult and one’s a teen. I think it’s fair to let people know there are kids involved, but until I get to know them better, that’s all they get to know. No pics, ages, gender etc. 

It’s also a paid website so there is less of the “hook up” aspect, but still some that try : (

Chmmy's picture

My kids were college age by the time I tried online dating so I never even thought about predators trying to find children this way. I remember POF asking if you have kids for your profile and one of the choices were children are 18+. I really only thought of that from the dating perspective like dates wont be interupted by babysitters canceling or crying kids but after reading so much on steptalk about unlaunched loser leech 18+ kids, I realize in the long term dating game 18+ doesnt mean freedom. And whike you dont have to worry about littlw kids ruining a date you have to worry about older kids needing daddeeee.

Letti.R's picture

I think its creepy and dangerous.
There are nuts out there and you put your kids on show for the world and its crazies to see?
Irresponsible, reckless and stupid!

Monkeysee's picture

You can mention you have kids in an online profile without sharing pictures of them to be fair... I think leaving them out completely is dishonest.