Celebrate! Celebrate!
Not sure of the exact date - but I know it was March of last year (2017) when I cut all ties with SS32 (maybe it's 33 now?) and his GF after their horrific home invasion while we were on vacation.
I was so FURIOUS that i literally could have castrated SS with a rusty knife. And devised something equally horrible for the GF. I remember telling DH "Just keep them away from me". In a voice that was probably close to something from the Exorcist. Seriously - I don't know what I might have said to them. No - I would not have done anything physical. I've never hit anyone in my life. But I could easily have verbally slashed them to pieces.
But I've learned from Sammi that sometimes it's more effective to say NOTHING. I have never received one word of apology. The only thing passed on to me was that the GF said that "I just needed to get over it." I am totally "over them". They do not exist to me. I would not care if they were bleeding on the sidewalk. Nor do I care if life works out great for them. They just DO NOT EXIST in my llife.
And it's been bliss. I love just not ever having to make even a millimeter of room in my life for the two efftards. DH has been great. He has not pressured me at all to let them back in. And I'm pretty sure the GF is restricting access to the grandchild because I will not let her use my belongings. But DH like many men his age (60s) is not that into small children. So that strategy is not working that great for the GF. DH enjoyed seeing the child for an hour or two, but had no desire to have him for weekends, etc.
DH will occasionally mention something that SS is doing - like he met his boss and his boss likes him. I bite my tongue and do not say ANY of the things that come to mind about what a pathetic waste of space SS still is. Sometimes I want to ask a question, but I abstain. I could make so many comments and digs about how worthless SS is, but my part of the bargain is not to do that. DH's part is to not try to make me let him back in.
So here's to many more years of NO SS IN MY LIFE!!!!!!
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CHEERS!!
I don't miss the royal brats one iota. I still have traumatic flashbacks after 9+ years!
I have not seen my OSD43 in 2
I have not seen my OSD43 in 2.5 years. My Dh has been on one of his rare trips to visit her, and I am so happy with MY progress. I.just.don't.care. I don't feel resentment anymore; I feel nothing. Because while I was shocked at how callous she was 2.5 years ago, I feel absolutely nothing for her now. Nothing. She is not relevant in my life. DH can go visit; I have a few days of peace and quiet without having to listen to her whiny histrionics about how horrible everything is so DH will feel sorry for her.
It is so freeing to just not care! And happy anniversary!
Congratulations on your "Keep
Congratulations on your "Keep those b@$t@rds away from me!" anniversary ! You did what anyone with a modicum of self respect would have done.
I don't know what it is about having one's home misused that pushes some of us over the edge. Maybe it's the violation of our sanctuary? The clear message that zero respect is given to our personal space? The fact that we trust so-called family by granting full access to our safe place, only to have them pi$$ all over it?
I can relate, as it was having OSD allow her skids to have a party and trash our home while we were vacationing that broke this camel's back. It was a hard slap in the face, accompanied by the realization that there was no sense of family loyalty towards DH and me. Thankfully, that betrayal became a catalyst for change and like you, I tossed the trash out of my life forever.
So many families experience
So many families experience stealing, hurting of new " by marriage 1/2 silbings", interior and exterior damage to the family home, back lash by the minions at school or in the community. Either from step kids OR stepkids and the bio parent of the step kids ie in your case bm's kids. Edit to add injury to Fur Babies by step kids too.
Its truely is awful.
I TOTALLY understand and you my dear are not alone.
Glad your home has some peace. You dont have to have anyone abusive in your life OR your home. Dad if he wants can see his child a part from you. Some dads decide not to engage at all for their own safety, mental health and physical health.
As exJulie says having one's
As exJulie says having one's home misused does push one over the edge. And mine just kept getting worse day by day.
I was not happy when I walked in and discovered dishes and a pot of grease from their cooking (although to give them credit the dishes were in the dishwasher). At first I thought - how rude to stop by and cook in someone's home. Especially since they have their own home. I thought - did they want to use our grill? (we have a really nice one) or something stupid like that.
It was late so I just went to bed after a long road trip (1000 miles). It wasn't till the next day that I dicovered it was so much more than just stopping by for a meal. I realized that not only had they stayed there they had actually slept in our bed.
To me that was like pissing on my bed. First of all they had NO business even having a meal here much less staying overnight. But to use our room was a total slap in the face. We have a lovely guest room. It actually has nicer furniture, a better queen bed (same size as ours) and a lovely view of the lake. Plus the guest bath in my opinion is nicer. When I do have invited guests they love staying in our guest room.
No this was a total piss on you action. Then I dicovered how everything had been ransacked. It was almost like they'd emptied drawers, etc in our bedroom, kitchen and garage and then just randomly stuffed things back in.
And then it probably took me another week or two to discovered the liquor loss. My DH and I pretty much never drink hard liquor, but we'd stocked up on a Costco run with FIVE brand new 1.7 litre bottles. They had been unopened when we left. When I was getting ready for a dinner party I went to get them out and discovered that each bottle had maybe a half inch in it.
It was such hideous behavior that DH never once tried to make excuses for them. How could he? How could anyone? These were not teens. Two grown ass adults with a child - although they left the child with her mother as they do every weekend so they can "party". I no longer have the blinding rage that I felt then - but just am so thankful that they are no longer in my life at all.
But it's actually been a blessing in disguise. I never have to deal with them again. Doesn't matter if they someday totally grow up and become model citizens (ha!). They just are no more relevant in my life than a dog who lives miles away from me. Although I'd help a dog if it needed help - not them.
I love that you dont even
I love that you dont even know his age anymore lol.
My SD is only 8 and I plan on having nearly nothing to do with her once she's out of the house.