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Found this while surfing today. Just HAD to share...

Nobratsallowed's picture

The 'Children's Bill of Rights'

My daughter came home from school one day,
with a smirk upon her face.
She'd decided she was smart enough,
to put me in my place.

"Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today,
The "Children's Bill of Rights".

It says I need not clean my room,
don't have to cut my hair.
No one can tell me what to think,
or speak, or what to wear.
I have freedom from religion,
and regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
and I sure don't have to pray.
I can wear earrings if I want,
and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
and get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with the crime.
I'll back up all my charges,
with the marks on my behind.
Don't you ever touch me,
my body's only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse.
Don't preach about your morals,
like your mama did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control,
And it's illegal too!
I have these children's rights,
so you can't influence me,
or I'll call Children's Services Division,
better known as C.S.D."

Of course my first instinct was
To toss her out the door
But the chance to teach a lesson
made me think a little more.
I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
she's messing with a pro.

The next day I took her shopping
at the local Goodwill Store
I told her, "Pick out all you want,
there's shirts & pants galore.
I've called and checked with C.S.D.,
who said they didn't care
if I bought you K-Mart shoes,
instead of those Nike Airs.
And I've canceled that appointment
to take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. is unconcerned
so I'll decide what's best."

I said "No time to stop and eat,
or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
to make your own sack lunch.
Just save that raging appetite,
and wait 'til dinner time.
We're having liver and onions,
a favorite dish of mine.

She asked, "Can I please rent a movie,
To watch on my VCR?"
"Sorry, but I sold your TV,
for new tires on my car.
I also rented out your room,
you'll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. requires
just a roof above your head.
Your clothing won't be trendy now,
and I'll choose what we eat,
That allowance that you used to get,
will buy me something neat.
I'm selling off your jet ski,
your bike & roller blades.
Check out the "Parent's Bill of Rights,"
It's in effect today!


SusiQ's picture

I love this!

My mom tells me often of a time when apparently I threatened to call the police and report child abuse for something stupid that I got in trouble for. My mom said go ahead and when you're done tell them I'm reporting you for parent abuse. She said I dropped the phone and ran to my room and cried for hours and then apologized because I never wanted to abuse her.

stormabruin's picture

I was roommates with a friend of mine after I left my EH. She had a 6-year old son who would always threaten to call the police on her. Her reply was, "Please do. What I wouldn't do for a break! No kids to clean up after, and someone else doing the cooking...I'll call them for you!"

We were at the mall one time & the kid was throwing a fit because he wanted a pogo-ball. She walked away & he came running after her crying. Again, he threatened to call the police for leaving him in the store & there happened to be a security guard just a few feet away. She took her kid over to the security guard & told the kid to go ahead & tell on her. The kid told the man she'd left him alone in the store & he should take her to jail. The secrity guard told him he would, but that the kid would have to go to jail too because there was no one else to watch him. As he said this he pulled his handcuffs off his belt loop & started to put them on the kid. The kid started freaking out & the man told him if he didn't want to go to jail he'd better listen to his mom & do what she says. Then he made him apologize. I've never heard a more sincere apology or seen a bigger hug.

As far as I know the kid never threatened it again. LOL!

Nobratsallowed's picture

I have a friend whose daughter called the police after the daughter got into trouble for something trivial. When the police arrived, there was an older cop and a rookie. The rookie was all blustery and treating my friend like she was a child abuser. The older cop, who was his superior officer, told the rookie to go talk to the daughter. He then took my friend off to the side and said, "Ms ******, I should arrest you and put you in jail.' My friend was very afraid, but the cop was very calm and repeated it again. He walked her into the living room and sat her down on the couch then said, "Yes, I should arrest you and put you in jail for letting your daughter call the police just because she was being punished." He told her that placing boundaries and consequences were very legal in our society, not matter what Dr. Spock and the 80's and 90's child gurus told us. He also told her that unless it involved injury or death, that corporal punishment is legal as well.

The rookie came downstairs with the daughter and the older cop told the daughter that he was taking her to a juvenile hall to spend the night in order to give her time to think about calling the police without just cause and about having respect for her mother, who was only trying to teach her about 'cause and effect'.

purpledaisies's picture

I love this what a great thing to remember! Specking of cops I once had someone call the police b/c she thought I left the kids alone. I didn't i'm also sure she knew there was a baby sitter. Anyway the coop that showed up was very young and stupid, he arrested me. I went in front of the prosecuting attorney and his words to me was "why are you here"? I said I don't know ask the cop that arrested me. He said he intended to. See the babysitter went to court with me. I also told him that the cop told me that he mama never left him like I did mine. I told him that his mama should have! Then when we go there he told me that he wish they would take my kids away! The prosecuting attorney was not impressed at all with that cop and everything was dismissed. He was stunned I was there. Yes I went out but I put the kids to bed and didn't leave till they were asleep and come back while they were still asleep, they had no idea I was gone. Some cops are just stupid!