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"You are no fun"

no fun one's picture

:? Im a 29 year old stepmother. I've been with my husband for 4 years. He has 2 kids from a previous marriage. Girl ML age 8 and boy DL age 6. ML now stays with her mother. DL stays with us. And we also now have a 11 month old girl. Wich DL loves to bits.

The problem is my husband (JL) doesn't really "notice" anything DL does. So if I talk about stuff he'll jyst tell the kids "she's no fun" If I complaint about DL hanging from the cars window the im "no fun"

And no DL would tell me to my face "your no fun" and my husband just says "I didn't notice" so he cant punish him.

I think he is scared if he fights with DL he wants to go live by his mother aswell.

What should I do?? Must I start to "not notice" and concentrate on my little one only??


thinkthrice's picture

As innocent as "you're no fun" sounds. It simply means he will not back you as a parental authority and he WILL take his kid's side IN FRONT OF YOU AND THEM.

Which will undermine any respect that the kids SHOULD have for you. Making you the BAD guy.

Like someone said before. Back in the day, when the stay at home wife said to her husband upon arriving home from work "Junior acted up all day and smart mouthed off to me"


Hell NO!!! Wife's version of the events were immediately accepted as gospel and Junior was punished accordingly.

And therein lies the difference. Get your shoes ready to run!!

no fun one's picture

Thank you everyone, we have custody of both SD8 and SS6 but a year ago at the end of my pregnancy with my 11month old my SD8 started to walk pass and hit my tummy. So her father my husband send her to go live with her mother. She never could handle being not the only child even with my SS6. So she went to her mother, which is aslo now pregnant. .. {dont know how you get pregnant if you in the first place didn't want the 2 you have. That's how they ended up with us} He is normally a good boy but it all went down the drain when he went to his mum for the holidays. And now I just dont have any backup. It is very hard to just walk in and be a mother to 2 small kids.