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What it feels like to watch your kids grow up when you can’t pay child support

Ninji's picture

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2015/06/17/just-because-...

What it feels like to watch your kids grow up when you can’t pay child support

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Ninji's picture

I can testify to that. I can't tell you the amount of "goods" that have been sent to BM's house.

bearcub25's picture

LOL. Sorry to laugh but these idiots really don't have the full picture when they are PASing the hell out of the kids. They only think of hurting the Dad and not the full impact of their actions.

Then BAM, that Oh shit, what did I do moment comes upon them and they can't undo it without confessing to the skids what she did.

SM12's picture

You have just proven what I have been trying to tell DH all along.
If he puts his foot down and stops letting the Stepshits manipulate him....they will turn it on BM.
She taught them their highly developed skills of master manipulation through lying, refusal of visits if they don't get their way and only having any relationship with DH when it involves money.
I told him to let them stop coming if they pull this crap, tell SS17 NO MORE MONEY if you can't come see me any other time.
They may stop coming for a while but they will turn all that crap on BM....She may be a bit more reasonable if she has to deal with her
own creation for a good while.

Glassslipper's picture

That was funny! The amount of goods sent to BM's LMAO
Yes! We currently have NO shoes fro SD at our house because she brought all the ones we bought her plus 2 pairs of mine there and last year BM gathered over 1000.00 in clothing!
Funny!

Disneyfan's picture

I bet the dad's are too dumb to take their asses to court to establish visitation. I'm willing to bet most of the dad's crying that mom won't let them see their kids, aren't paying court ordered CS.

They won't go to court because they know that will piss the moms off and they will go to CS court. Everyone knows there isn't a judge out there that will consider a pair of sneakers or lunch at McDonald's a substitute for CS. :?

I windeed how many of the men in that piece have more than one kid? If you're struggling to HELP support one child, how in the world can you afford more?

Snowflake's picture

Women do it all the time. They have a kid with a father that doesn't pay child support and then go on to have more because they think that the next will be there for the kid.

IamexhaustedSM's picture

Sorry this is a stupid article. You cannot support a child on gifts. Air Jordan's are not support. Go to Walmart and get several pairs of shoes for the same price as one pair of Jordans, that is supporting a child.

A happy meal is a treat not a meal. Cook your child dinner. Work more than one job in order to provide. Sounds to me like the guy they are referring to in the article is a DISNEY DAD! Like that will help his precious 12 year old "baby girl" in her future. It is all superficial and materialistic. It has no real value and will teach her to be shallow and materialistic.

Ninji's picture

BM was awarded almost $1000 in CS...And SO has to provide healthcare and pay half of all health care bills. Also do all the transportation. He doesn't have healthcare on the kids or himself. If he did, he would bring home $1100 a month. I can't believe a judge thought that was an amount he could live on.

WTF...REALLY's picture

The whole thing did not sit right with me. Golly, a whole happy meal once a week and some dresses? I want to do that a be called a provider.

And where is the mention of MOMS that don't pay CS? I love how we as a society still are stuck in the mode that moms get the kids and the dads are the dead beats. Denture Debbie has not paid a single dime of CS. Pisses me off.

The article is antiquated at best. The author does not understand what it means to support a child as well.

Disneyfan's picture

That IS horrible if that is all you're doing for your kid. If you aren't paying your CS, you should go to jail.

soaif6's picture

Because then he becomes a burden to tax payers? America has way too many of its citizens in its prisons. Anything that reduces the prison population sounds like a plus.

Ninji's picture

Just because the man "wanted" to buy is unborn child a pair a pair of expensive shoes, doesn't make him a bad guy.

STaround's picture

And not pay his bills, this board would be all over him.   It is not buying expensive shoes that makes him a bad guy, it is not paying child support and giving gifts that won't help as much that makes him a bad guy.

Disneyfan's picture

Let's say those things are true. Why hasn't dad gone to court to get custody of his kids?

If yout think mom is smoking up the money, why not buy groceries for your kid instead of McDonald's?

Disneyfan's picture

And this upstanding, hard working has his kid living with father instead of with him.

I think both parents are garbage. Thank goodness the grandfather is able and willing to step up to the plate.

notarelative's picture

I have lots of conflicting emotions after reading this.

I have family experience with a guy who only worked under the table so he wouldn't have to pay child support. It wouldn't be hard to guess my opinion of him.

And on the other side, I worked in schools (for years) where intact families and two parent (step) families were not the norm. Most kids rarely saw their absent parent, but when they did it made a huge difference in them. The longing for the absent parent is ingrained.

All in all I see contact as a positive thing.

WTF...REALLY's picture

I must be very grumpy. This whole thing is just getting me so aggravated.

My ex works under the table so he can get away with little CS. So hubby and I have to make up for it.

Denture Debbie is a shit loser who pays zero CS, so hubby and I have to make up for it.

These people have still gotten to see thier kids. So......they need good, shelter, transportation, power, water.....but thier own fuckin off spring don't????? They have access to the children they don't work thier ass off for. Pisses me off.

People deserve food, but not the kids they make. They don't need to worry about feeding them because someone else will do the job for them. Such bullshit.

WTF...REALLY's picture

And do we turn the kids against them? No. Is it tempting, you bet your ass it is. But we know it is not good for the kids. So those parents get to have their cake and get it too. Hubby and I are just the idiots buying the cake and cleaning up the cake.

Katylouu's picture

...my then fiance went to file to pay child support.  The courts said that never happens.

It isn't that he wasn't supporting his child, they had "an arrangement".  And that "arrangement" meant that she could call whenever for whatever and it was outrageous.  I told him WE can't live like that and that he needed to file.  So he did.  Thankfully too, his mother had him keep meticulous records of what he had given her because EVERY woman who goes to file claims "he's never did anything" and so did she.

The child support was much less than the cash he had been doling out, and that also meant she couldn't call whenever,  whyever for whatever. That was step 1, of you aren't running our household.  But, that is his child and you can't say "I'm not buying him zip because I am paying child support".  

Later down the road, the childs mother began to reform because she was 'shut out' of our household, and yes that can be done.  Instead of hopping on the "my baby daddy" train, she got married and had her next child.  There is a lot that articles can't explain because it is often someone who has no real life skills just like the one who wrote that one and it's evident when she said "she searched for these people".