She's either really stupid or just a huge witch
BM decided she no longer wanted SS11 and gave him to us full time 21 days ago.
She said she would not "allow" DH to have legal custody until he can show improvement in SS's behavior and grades. BM has allowed SS to run wild his entire life. He has been suspended a few times this year when he was with BM and was in danger of repeating the 5th grade. The only reason he was able to pass the 4th grade is because his teacher was giving him fake grades. Something she (the teacher) freely shared with DH and I.
BM's first weekend with SS was 7 days after she gave him to us. She sent DH several text that weekend saying SS was not behaving and wasn't doing his chores.
Now she's asking for the website and login information for his grades. It's the same that is always was because we are still in the same county. She never bothered to get the information in all the years she had him and she still doesn't know SD13's login information (it's all the same)
I guess I'm not looking for any advice. It's just pissing me off because she is either too stupid to realize it's going to take us more than 21 days to change a lifetime of his behavior patterns or she's intentionally trying to stir up shit. Also, it's not our problem the way he behaves at her house.
I really really really hate her.
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Your DH needs to either get
Your DH needs to either get her to sign over custody or give the kid back. This situation gives BM way to much say in your home.
We have done this before and
We have done this before and she took him back after 30 days because DH started the paperwork to change CS. I told DH I didn't want him back until it was done legally. He didn't listen to me. He also doesn't want to change anything involving CS until he can show improvement in SS's school work because he thinks he will have a better case. None of these things are the way I would handle the situation but I also don't going around have unprotected sex with shitty people.
Just because your household
Just because your household expects a certain level of behavior can't and won't carry over to his mother's home unless she is applying consistent expectations.
Ya, I wouldn't allow BM to
Ya, I wouldn't allow BM to give skid to you and not go immediately to arrange for her to pay CS. If she doesn't have possession of the child how is she going to explain to a judge that she should get child support?
DH thinks that she will just
DH thinks that she will just owe us for the overpayment. I'm not sure if that's correct.
We can show the date he was
We can show the date he was enrolled in the new school which is outside of her district and 3 minutes from our house. Hopefully that will be enough.
He lives with us and rides
He lives with us and rides his bike to school
I am so glad you showed up -
I am so glad you showed up - I was waiting for you all day yesterday
File for an emergency change
File for an emergency change in custody and ask that support be calculated.
What a bitch - kids are not things that you give back when they become too inconvenient.
why does your husband put up with this crap from BM??
DH is doing it because he
DH is doing it because he knows SS has slim to no change of growing up "normal" with BM. I agree. I just want it to be legal so that she can't pull her stunts.
so encourage your husband to
so encourage your husband to make it legal.
Or send her back. No WAY this should be happening without a change in custody...
We actually got into a huge
We actually got into a huge argument because I made an appointment with a lawyer to at least discuss what our options are. He is afraid that as soon as BM hears that we are formally requesting a change she will pull SS back. I felt bad because after the argument SS came up to me and said he feels like we don't want him. Which is absolutely not the case. I'm going to let the issue of court lie until May. For me it's not even about the CS (although it would be a nice chuck of money to have back) I really just want SS to be legally with us. So, if BM pulls him back before DH gets off his ass and does something, that will be on his hands. He isn't protecting his son.
I am telling you, you are
I am telling you, you are playing with fire and throwing your money away.
The way things stand now, if she gets pissy about something, she could absolutely call the police and claim that you two won't return her son.
It's a very dangerous game your husband is playing. Even if she does "pull SS back" he should continue with the change in custody. THAT is how he protects his kid.
What kind of information
What kind of information would we need for something like that? I mean, she's a shitty mom but they are not in danger at her house. Can we say it's an emergency just because she said she doesn't want him anymore?
She did agree to the school
She did agree to the school change and even provided things like her email that we didn't have so we could register him. DH deleted the texts. I told him next time she text anything about SS's new school or him living with us to save them.
He has every other weekend
He has every other weekend and every tues and wed. We could never get them on tues and wed because we lived too far from their schools. Because of this BM and DH had a verbal agreement that he could have them every weekend. That went on for 6ish years until last year when BM got married and decided that her and her new husband were going to be the kids "real" family and then it changed back to every other weekend.
So, I have no idea if every other weekend and every tues and wed is consider 50%
Is SS11 a puppy, or a
Is SS11 a puppy, or a hamster, or what?
Women like this are just ridiculous.
We also pay a massive amount
We also pay a massive amount in CS and buy SD and SS EVERYTHING. To include things like shampoo, pads, deodorant, hairbrushes, you name it for BM's house.
She works full time and so
She works full time and so does her husband plus the CS. She's just refusing to spend any of the money on the kids. She hasn't purchase a shoe, a sock or paid a dime towards school activities since they got divorced. She says she didn't have anything nice growing up and she turned out fine. I guess "fine" is relative.
She's either a. Stupid b. a
She's either
a. Stupid
b. a witch
c. a stupid cunty witch
d. all of the above
D!!! For the win!
She's smart. She doesn't want
She's smart. She doesn't want to raise the kid anymore. He's cramping her style so she give him to your DH to "deal" with then she gets him occasionally when she wants to be Disney Mom. She's had years of credit of looking like the Struggling Mom and now she gets to be the fun guy who doesn't have to worry about suspensions, grades, whatever. She's not dumb. She's very smart and your DH is the dumb one for either not realizing it or realizing it and going along with it without changing custody. I bet she'd change her tune if he went for a CS modification.
seriously.... DH pays CS to
seriously.... DH pays CS to BM and has the kid full time....? What an idiot.
DH should simply change CO, with out without BM's agreement,she can dispute it in court, and while DH is changing CO he can ask for CS. I will not allow this to happen, if she does not want her son, it will be legalized, or SS can simply go back to her