When we first got together, He was very charming, courted me well, laid it on thick. Presants, jewelry, concerts, showed me around the new city, helped me find a mechanic. After five months, I met the kids. Charming little hims. 

They were behind. So I got to help them. I'm a "fixer". I read to them. I taught them manners. I taught them confidence - from I taught the little one how to spell his name, I taught the big one how to tie his shoes. I got the big one into speech therapy in Kindergarten because he has a lisp like Mommy. When she moved to a terrifying part of town (where the gym teacher had just been arrested for kidnapping and child abuse) I got them enrolled in a magnet school. SS6 is now learning robotics and coding. When I discovered a cavity I fought (the good fight?) for three months, against BM and their Idiot father to get the insurance cards and take these babies to the dentist. The older one was scheduled for emergency surgery because every single tooth in his head had multiple cavities, and the "massive" ones were too close to the roots.

He said BM was the "slob". I believed him. So when I moved in, I cleaned up "her" mess. Inches of mouse poop in the pots on the stove, a foot-and-a-half tall stack of empty dog food bags by the back door complete with maggots. The top bunk in the boys room was stacked to the ceiling with broken furniture, old dirty diapers (the youngest was 3), her dirty clothes, empty liquor bottles, cat puke. 

I spent all my money. I installed hardwood floors in the living room, bought a new oven. I paid off his van. His I dea of parenting, is sit each child in front of a screen. So, ever saturday, I'd take them to do a "fun thing". Chuck E Cheese, indoor park, trampoline park, laser tag, kids museum, aquarium, something active. I financed family vacations, Legoland, Seaworld. And, (Spoiler Alert) I became the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and Santa. I hosted birthday parties, with goodie bags, rented the inflatable water slide, you name it - I was a damn good stepmom.

Well, Fast Forward a year, or so, the gifts stop, the jewelry stops, flowers are only purchased after a major fight (like him trying to move another woman into the house?). I feel like the Housekeeper/babysitter/ATM that he sleeps with. We fight over housework constantly. He thinks I'm nagging him about chores, I think it's his responsibility as a homeowner. (also, wasn't it BM who was the slob?) Anyway, just before Christmas, I get the Big One.

"You Have to do All the housework, because you don't give me enough Blowjobs." -Drunk Idiot Boyfriend

So, Housework is my punishment? You have the right to punish me? Why am I here?

I start packing my things and he apologises. His "fix" is we'll get a maid.

He wants me to pay for the maid.

And give her a ride home. 1hr round trip from the house.

"Now that I have a maid, I don't need you anymore." - Drunk Idiot Boyfriend

So I sign a lease, which was hard. I have a Large dog now. He wanted to breed his female dogs, so I spent thousands of dollars on a purebread, microchipped, fully papered, intact male, and find out his dog's don't have papers. (the one has a criminal record for biting people) but no shot records, no pedigree, they're basically mutts. I'm also attatched to these stupid kids. I love them. I have their school picture buttons on my purse, and I had a ring made with their birthstones, engraved with their names. 

There was about a two week gap, from the official end, to my move in date. Two weeks of hell. I avoided the house like the plague. My dog lost weight from going on so many walks. Drunk Idiot Boyfriend turned into a creature. I tried just keeping the peace so he would be nice to me, which included still sleeping with him. Every 6 hours he would flip a 180, from being nice and trying to cuddle to trying to throw me and my stuff out on the street imediately.

My birthday was the Wednesday before my Saturday move in date. The maid had come two weeks before on monday, and he celebrated not needing me anymore, by having ice cream with the boys. The maid was a no-show the monday right before my birthday. He's a lazy ass, and I'm now Fully disengaged from this nonsense, so noone did dishes For Two Weeks. But, there's things in the sink that I need to pack to move. So tuesday night I scrape the 1/2 inch of mold fur out of the rotting milk in these stupid bowls. Wednesday morning I get 50 "why you mad bro?" text messages. I say it doesn't matter, he turns it into a big text fight, he tells me he's a good man and a good father, I tell him I'm a human that deserves respect and I don't Owe anyone blowjobs. He tells me to "get the fuc& over that" he tells me to fuc& off and leave him and his children alone. - I'm crying at work on my birthday. - After work I dress up and take myself (alone) to Bonefish Grill. He calls. He's upset I didn't invite him to my birthday dinner? I thought I was supposed to be fuc&ing off and leaving them alone? He screams, I hang up. I text him to please not kill my animals. -I'm crying over my salmon on my birthday-  I get home and he's not there. Perfect. I go to bed. At 3am he stumbles in wanting to sleep with me. "No. You made me cry on my birthday. I will not have sex with you." Well, boys and girls, 'No means No' aparently, is just for comercials on MTV. This turned into Two Hours of him badgering me, pulling on my clothes, groping me, begging me, and pushing me to have sex with him. I literally told him "If you bully me into having sex with you, that is Rape." He finally passed out (on the guest twin-bed) So I went to the master to sleep. 30 minutes later he bursts into the room, I need to be out Now! He's calling his uncle (who was in a gang) to come drag me out of the house! I need to get my $hit out NOW or hes gonna lock it in the garage! 

The next morning at work he texts asking about my sexy underwear? OMG living with a Bipolar Maniac makes you feel crazy!

I thought he was just disrespectful and unapreciative. I did not realize he was going to turn into an absolute crazy person when I broke up with him. 

Stop telling these women "just leave".  Be more specific and  creative with your advice. Its freaking terrifying! It's NOT easy. We had only been dating two years and I don''t even have kids in this situation. I couldn't imagine being married, or having a child and having to make the decisions I made, or go thorough this situation.

Good luck ladies. Don't let yourself be taken advantage of.