I dont know how to do this
So I've known my boyfriend and his kids for almost 2 years. I've recently started a relationship with him in late April. We know we want to get married and be together. I get along really well with his kids, always have. He's even asked his oldest how she feels about me moving in and is getting married and she was excited!
I'm struggling with a few things on how he handles (?) her. He doesn't really hold her accountable for her actions. She doesn't seem to have any responsibility. Maybe she was never taught? For example, if she whines enough about having to do something or just does a half ass job at it , like dishes, her grandparents ( who live with us ) or her Dad will swoop in to do it. If she's dramatic enough, she doesn't have to go to school because she has a stuffy nose ( current situation). How do I approach this and let him know that this, and some other things, need to change?
I know it takes time to get the family dynamic going. Him and I have amazing communication. I've expressed my thoughts and frustrations to him multiple times. He hears me and acknowledges me and says he'll work on it but he hasn't and I find myself going through the same thing.
How can I get through to him that this all affects me now too and I'm continuously frustrated by the same stuff?