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Over $1200 a month...

New_to_this's picture

Over $1200 a month for ADHD medication for SS. That's how much it would cost us if we didn't have health insurance. DH never knew the true cost of the medications when he was paying a co-pay, but now that he has a plan with a high-deductible, he's paying it out-of-pocket and finally realizing how much it really is. And that's just for SS's ADHD meds, that doesn't include SD's anti-anxiety meds, both of their psychiatry and therapy appointments, dermatology appointments, and other medical appointments because they generally don't take care of themselves.

I used to argue repeatedly with DH that the kids did not need to be so medicated and that they needed to learn life-coping skills and responsibility instead. (This was before we were paying an astronomical amount for their medication due to insurance reasons, so it had less to do with me not wanting to pay for the meds) He used to argue back that he and his ex were their parents and I was not! I stopped arguing. I still feel the same way for the most part, but now I don't want the kids off the meds or on lowered meds while they are living in my home. If DH and his ex weren't willing to do the work to make their kids functional human beings who relied less on medication and more on coping skills, then don't expect me to help out with it now. Keep the kids on the medications and don't lower their dosages. I'm less caring now and I'm not willing to do the work anymore. They can just rely on meds to get them through their childhood. I just want my home to be as peaceful, calm, and orderly as possible.


Willow2010's picture

kids did not need to be so medicated and that they needed to learn life-coping skills and responsibility instead.
I think this applies to about 95% of kids on ADHD/ADD/ODD/blablabla medications. Parents do not want to put the effort into raising their own kids. They would rather drug them up so they do not have to do the hard part of parenting.

JMHO and before someone goes off, please note that I said 95% not 100%.

HungryEyes's picture

Hahaha I'm glad you added the disclaimer because I would have been the one to call you out. 2 of my sons have zero behavior problems (sans some impulsive behaviors and getting excited easily) but can't learn or retain information without meds. I get so mad when people throw out the BS statistics on how we are all 'just medicating to make it easier on ourselves.' That's definitely not the case in my home. I wish more than anything we could not medicate my boys, but they'd not be learning otherwise.

For the record, if you take them off meds, please do a step down program. Withdrawals from ADHD meds are very hard for kids and even adults. Also - once you take them off medication, prepare yourself. It will be difficult.

New_to_this's picture

I totally agree. I was not trying to say that the kids should not be medicated if they needed medication. DH has already said that he blames himself for not doing the hard work earlier and that, at this point, he is not willing to make certain sacrifices (that will affect everyone else's life and schedule) in order to lower SS's medication. Like I said, I may have been willing to make sacrifices in the past, but I am not willing to make sacrifices now. At this point, I want my life to be easier.

In terms of what I meant by responsibility: the kids have skin problems, we take them to the doctor, we get them medication, they say that they are taking the medication when they are not, we go back to the doctor, we get them different medication, they say they are taking the medication when they are not, and the cycle continues for years with multiple appointments to the dermatologist yearly. We have so many containers and tubes of unused prescription lotions, it could fill up a few trash bags.

In terms of SD's anti-anxiety meds: she was put on it 6 years ago to deal with anxiety due to a sport she was in (she was freeezing up). She quit the sport maybe 5 years ago. I don't understand why she's still on the medication, rather than dealing with the underlying issues at hand.

A lot of it is parenting problems, I think. But, I don't want to be the one dealing with the problems. Like I said, I care less, so I would rather the kids be on medication than complicate my life further, at this point.

Also, DH and I are different when it comes to going to the doctor's and medicating. If my child was constipated, my first resort would be to feed them more fiber and make them drink prune juice. His first resort would be to take them to the doctor's to get a prescription for medication because he would not be able to make his kids drink prune juice.