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Am I overreacting here???

Newstep's picture

What are your thoughts on tanning beds? SD14 has been on this kick since last year to go tanning. I know the laws got stricter in the last few years. But I don't tan so I'm not too familiar. Well one of BM's friends bought a tanning bed. Now SD is asking if it's ok for her to tan. SO told her absolutely not. But we both know BM will let her do it.

Is this a hill to die on?? Her health is put at risk in my opinion. But trying to talk to BM about it will be pointless.

Comments

Jsmom's picture

Yes this is a hill to die on....THEY CAUSE CANCER! I will never understand parents that allow this. In the last month about 4 of my magazines have articles on how bad they are. They increase the skin cancer rate in people under 30 by 35%. That was in Self magazine.

I watched my husband die from Skin Cancer. Horrible way to die. He had aggressive cancers because of his immunosuppression from Transplants, but would have gotten them anyway, just when he was older. I sat in the Derm office with him continuously while he had lesions taken off with Mohs surgery. The people in there awaiting surgery were younger than I expected.

BM and DH are fools for allowing this. If it were my SD and it is, (we have no custody and she has bragged about going to them on Facebook)I would be doing everything I could to stop it. Since she is not in my life, it is not my problem. But, I have made sure to comment on these articles to DH hoping he will say something to her. I may hate her, but I don't want her to die or experience anything like this.

If you have any influence in her life, do the right thing and say NO!

DaizyDuke's picture

It's not safe for ANYONE to tan.. end of story.

You can do what my mom did when I insisted on tanning for Jr. and Sr. Prom... she brought home all kinds of stuff from the hospital where she worked. Awful pictures of skin cancer lesions etc. and stories of people who had to have large areas of skin removed etc. Did it work? No. I was a bull headed 16-17 year old and everyone else doing it so I was going to do it too. If BM is going to let her, then you're fighting a losing battle, but at least SD will be informed about the risks.

nothinforya's picture

I work in melanoma research, and we have 18 year old patients enrolled in clinical trials for experimental treatments that probably won't save their lives. Tanning beds are deadly. Every sunburned skin cell can mutate into a fatal cancer sell. Melanoma has no cure once it spreads.

Newstep's picture

I felt this way too. I used to do tanning many years ago. Now I do the spray tans. I even have the whole set up to do it at home and SO spray tans me Smile But SD14 thinks this isn't good enough or it may turn out the wrong color. Oh well I am going to print out the skin cancer stuff to show her tonight and let her at least be informed. I know BM will encourage it for her because she thinks being tan is really important for some reason. I wish she thought having a job was just as important. }:)

SO was just sick last night about all this. Especially since court didn't go so well last week and the mediator totally sided with BM who is living with a drug addict. So he isn't very hopeful that court will even help him.

Shaman29's picture

A friend of our died in March from brain cancer, which was secondary. Her primary cancer diagnosis was melanoma. Had surgery. Was in remission for about 12 months and then started having seizures. Scans showed tumor clusters on her brain. They tried treating her with radiation and chemo to no avail.

She had a 17 year old daughter who is now living with close friends (her bio-dad committed suicide several years ago).

This poor woman died at 53 years of age, all because of skin cancer. It was heart breaking.

imjustthemaid's picture

My sisters husband goes tanning pretty much everyday. He looks orange and has two basil cells on him. He had one removed but he is petrified of needles and refuses to get the other one done. I'm pretty sure he got them from tanning beds!! No way in hell would I let my kids go tanning!! That is irresponsible and stupid!!

snowdrop's picture

wow! My first thought was, buy her some self-tanning lotions as an alternative. I can't believe that you have a spray tan set up and home (very cool!) and she still won't use it... yikes. This is scary stuff... Good luck!

I'm thankful for reading the posts here too... I'm feeling very pale lately and was considering hitting a tanning bed (something I've done sporadically in the past) the reminder is great-- it's not worth it to be tan and DEAD. And the wrinkles aren't that great either...

Newstep's picture

She is just being annoying and she wants to tan so bad. She is really good at having all these excuses for not being able to do something except what she wants.

Newstep's picture

Yep I was going to start using the tanning beds again but with all the research out there no way!!! I started going to a salon to spray tan and it was getting expensive 25.00/week. So I researched it and found a kit online for 300.00 and now I have SO do it LOL. He is a perfectionist so it works out well. It is pretty easy to do there are tons of youtube videos on it as well.

tryingmom's picture

I was a lifeguard for a long time, we baked ourselves. When I was 25 I ended up with skin cancer on my back. I do not tan and put sunscreen on everyday whether I am going to be in the sun or not.

Sun damage is accumulative. Damage adds up over time. She also doesn't want to look like a leather bag at 25.

Starla's picture

Everything above and if you don't cover your eyes, it can eventually make you go blind. Worked at a tanning salon and I hated having to tan minors. I'm willing to bet you that her BM doesn't make her drink extra water after her tanning sessions...BM is going to fry this girl's self esteem if it don't kill her.

Newstep's picture

Oh she is already destroying the kids self esteem no doubt. BM is 5'1 and maybe weighs 80 lbs. So she has SD believing that anyone who is bigger than that is a fat slob!! In reality most people bigger than that are at a healthy weight. So SD has a thing about what size she wears and how much she weighs. She is 14 maybe 4'6" and weighs about 80lbs totally healthy for her age. Yet she is obsessed with the fact that she wears a 00 now the kid easily wears a size 3 in juniors. It wouldn't be skin tight on her but she could wear it no problem. The 00 are like a second skin on her and she thinks it looks good :? :?

SO makes her change into more fitting clothes at our house. But she wears that stuff at her mom's house. Go figure.