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Feeling real bad!!!

newmom01's picture

Submitted by newmom01 on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 10:59am

For those that read my post about DH leaving me and our two babies 1 month and 1year !!!! Because I would not let his mom and dad move in with us. I miss my DH BUT I willnot be a door mat... we just got over the most recent issues with his two kids with ex-wife(which seem to come up every 6 or 9 months) and we were doing real good....then his PARENTS! caused us all this grief. We should not have to worry about them ...they are 53 (mom) and 72(dad) they should have prepared better for their old age (MIL lost job 3 weeks ago) DH cant help cause he screwed off his early years also...Im the only one that was responsible and ALL of them trying to pull on me......DH, his kids, his parents, the ex-wife...IM TIRED

BUT I want my DH back I want to make his parents, and the ex-wife disapear. But if i let him back in (he is trying to come back, the leaving was just to force me to make a change) he will continue to bully me (mentally) and I cant have that ....But I want my boys to have thier dad.....Im so sad Im at work trying to keep it together ...The tears just keep coming and I keeping wiping them away eyes are red...(co workers are going to think Im smoking sominthing back here) : ) Wink

Comments

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 11:14am

You will never be able to extract this guy's testicles from his parents or his ex-wife's possession!

Remember: It's a thousand times better to feel lonely than it is to be angry and resentful for being disrespected in your OWN HOME!!

You don't need this guy and his baggage!!

Hatecopycats's picture

Submitted by Hatecopycats on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 4:27pm

^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^

I'm sorry you are hurting, but better to hurt for a short period then be hurting for potentially years with DHs family living off you......I have to disagree with other posters, it is not your job or responsibility to take DHs parents in.....they all have nerve to even ask you!!!

They should have been more financially astute in prior years, plus you state in a previous post that your MIL refuses to get a job because she thinks she is too good for the ones you told her about....HELL NO, they could not move in my home!!!! WTF???? Your not a free hotel!!!

Dh and his parents need to put on their big people panties and man and woman up and figure it out without trying to take advantage of YOU!!!

As I mentioned in your other post, it would be a different situation entirely if your MIL had serious health problems that prevented her from working , but that is simply not the case.

Dh is playing games with you and trying to guilt you into doing something you are not comfortable in doing.
That is just wrong.....tell DH to go kick rocks!!!

doll faced sm's picture

Submitted by doll faced sm on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 1:26pm

I'm sorry you're feeling so lonely and hurt right now. I do think you're making the right decision, but of course, that's just my opinion. You should not be expected to shoulder the financial burden for everyone your H has ever had contact with, and it's unreasonable of your H to expect that of you. Good luck; I think in the long run, you'll be better off.

Yme's picture

Submitted by Yme on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 2:44pm

Sorry you are going through all of this Sad All at a time when you need such support...(new baby and going back to work) IMHO: DH is playing a power game....shame shame shame on him! He needs to grow up and support YOU and his babies...
I can understand wanting him back and missing him....I can see that not all has been bad...Im sure you feel for your lil babies...YOU didnt choose this HE did......BUT you have the ability right now to hopefully change things for the better...#1 either DH and you can go to marriage therapy to work this out...Stand your ground with DH...remember HE LEFT YOU!!! YOU didnt make that choice he did...so he can sit and stew in the mess he has caused himself until all of this is sorted out to both of your liking...(I would fear if I let DH back right away without some clarity that DH would use the "IM leaving again IF you dont____" card...just to bully his way...NO emotional security for you or your marriage) DH needs to open his ears and really hear you and your concerns...dont think he will do that if he's back in the house....And who knows you may feel a litle different after you hear him out...just saying...it wont be easy...but please dont set it up so DH has the upper hand all the time....u need equal footing if you come back together or #2 you can close the door and move on without dead beats who want to suck the financial and emotional life out of you...It will suck but you and only you can choose WHEN you have had enough and feel things arent fixable and have gone too far... Each choice is going to be hard and with its difficulties....But Im sure you will find support here which ever you choose....
Good Luck! I can really really feel for you...I dont want to pass judgement....just want to see you in a happy place...right now your not in that place and only you can decide where that happy place is...
PS.....I can understand how you feel like you have given so much more than you are getting in return.... money, emotional support, stability ...I feel that way myself and dont know how to get past feeling cheated when I need the financial/emotional support and I am looking at a DH who has neither to offer me.....ugh!!!!! Just always felt I was envesting in a support system that would give to me when I needed it...all to find out HOW WRONG I was.....:(