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SD's Agenda

NewBeginning's picture

Did a lot of thinking today about how since I've known stepdaughter she's tried to dissuade me into thinking ill thoughts of my husband - her father.

I'd like some thoughts on this is you all have some time.

At various times she's tried to tell me how horrible my DH's temper is and it's only a matter of time before he blows up on's inevitable, she says. He's NEVER blown up at me like I've seen him blow up at her..OR her waste of skin mother.

She's tried to bring up 'cute' stories of her mother and father in front of me - as to which DH has shut her up.

She got confronted on her stealing here, as to which she turned it all on me and told me my husband was miserable with me and couldn't stand me or my daughter..said he only stayed with me because he just didn't want to be alone. Said he told her it was his biggest fear to be alone and he just suffers in silence with me. Said he found my daughter to be a pain in the ass and he talks about her all the time.

She's told me he can't control himself with women and he has cheated numerous times on her mother..even went as far as to tell me that his ex girlfriend was stalking him with emails and to which I found out that NONE of that was true.

She has done things such as sit in his lap..lays her head on his shoulder like she's a small child..she's 20! She'll tell him how cute he is...lay SUCH guilt trips on him by snapping at him then walking away like a 2 year old...calls him the dreaded "DADDEE" as to which you want to pull your own teeth.

I have no idea who this girl is..but I know WHAT she is...

She's a jealous raving lunatic. She's possessive of her father and would stoop to anything to show it.

This is the oddest relationship I have ever seen in my life. I know a child loves their parent but what she does I sure would not call love.

How can a child love their parent when they try to sabotage their parent's marriage?

Am I missing something here? Is it normal for a man's daughter to go to these lengths - yet say they love their father?

I will not compete for my husband's affection or attention with someone like this..these actions would be seen in a jealous wife or girlfriend. Not a daughter. And I've told DH that. Something is wrong with this girl to act out in the ways she does.

It's like she knows no other way. Her mother is EXACTLY the same way and this little trite picked it up honest. She's extremely jealous of me being with her exhusband and can't stand me. So her and her jealous daughter feed off one another to try to step in our marriage.

I'm going to have another talk with DH and make it plain I will NOT allow that shit in this marriage. By either one. A spouse's love is SO different than a child..I will not have that kind of dysfunction in this house.



Most Evil's picture

To me, CLEARLY the BM is driving this - she must want your DH back.

My SD said similar things and that is the best explanation I can come up with.

Oh he is a horrible person - but I am dying to have him and my mom back together?

That's how I know the things SD has tried to sell me, are TOTAL LIES!!!

They have to get RID of US, to have DH be available for further 'love'/manipulation! and also (BIG ONE): to get the BM out of the SD's business and face!!!!!

Fortunately we are a lot smarter than that!!

oneoffour's picture

Crap, she sounds like Mommas little Messenger.

I would tell DH that allowing her to behave like this is not allowing her the freedom to have a healthy adult relationship with her father. Would he allow a 20 yr old son to sit on his knee?

Each time she does it I would start humming the Addams Family theme tune. When she tells you BS stories, put your hand up and say "Stop. Now. I am not interested in your stories so go home and tell your mother to stop the crap. I am married to your father and I am staying married to your father. So the more you try to undermine my marriage the more I love him." And walk away.

Your DH needs to put a top to this crap or she should not be allowed back in your home. It is disrespectful to the extreme. Would she do this in her firend's home? So why is it OK in yours?

It is hard to let go the little child your child once was but the time has come to force her into grownuphood.

NewBeginning's picture

Exactly what I've told him. How would he feel if I had a 20 year old son who plopped in my lap? What would that look like? Cuddling with me while my husband sat across the room?

She hasn't done it in a while but during our marriage I've seen her do it. I've griped at him enough that I really feel he's had to have said something to her because she hasn't dared it in a while.

I know we're supposed to love our children but that is extremely inappropriate. You don't sit in your father's lap when you're an adult. You just don't.

NewBeginning's picture

It's a sick vicious cycle. If any father thought it was 'love' to have this kind of child...I'd have to wonder about them.

DH said he knows his daughter has always been possessive..and I told him it was his fault for letting it go on. He should have seen that behavior and crushed it for fear of people seeing it as an adult when she grew up.

As to which he didn't. To him, it's hard to be mean to his daughter. Okay..just let her carry on like she does and then listen to me cut her to shreds which I will do so when I see that ridiculous behavior.

He now has a wife that sees his daughter for what she is...a bipolar jealous idiot. I'm not his ex who worships the ground her daughter walks on and eggs her on with her bullshit. I won't stand idly by as she acts in this way. Maybe after enough of my bitching he'll finally see how horrible she acts.

I saw her one time throw a fit when his son was sick in the hospital..his son's ex girlfriend sat down next to my DH and hugged him. My SD kind of pushed her away and told her to 'go get your own daddy!' and was furious. My DH told the exgirlfriend she didn't have to get up and it was okay..I watched my SD get up crying and angry and left the hospital waiting room shooting my DH daggers of bipolar anger. She wouldn't talk to him for over 2 hours and when she did it was thru gritted teeth.

Crazy. Totally crazy.