READY TO WALK AWAY SOMETIMES!
Where do I start! I am newlywed, we have been married for 3 months and I'm soooooo ready to just throw in the towel. My wife and I dated 2 years before being Marranos we lived in 2 different states for the first year. I left everything and moved to the state my wife was in and started to notice tons of things I didn't see when I was visiting when it comes to her 3 kids. Fast forward and we are now married, her oldest child wanted to come to our new house that we just moved in a month ago from college and I told my wife I didn't think that was a good idea from the things I had experienced at the old place. Not being clean, sneaking boys in the house, completely disrespectful to her mother. Long story short I put my foot down and said no and ...THE DAUGHTER HAD THE NERVE TO TEXT ME SHE IS GONNA BEAT MY ASS WHEN SHE SEE ME!!! I read the message between my wife and her day and at no time did my wife ever tell her 19 year old daughter that regardless of how she feels about me not wanting her in the house, we are married and she will respect our marriage. At no time did my wife take up for me or even just correct her child as a parent. Her daughter is EXTREMELY manipulative and only after all this drama is my wife finally starting to see it. Now things are weird because her daughter went to stay with my wife's mom. Idgaf how her family feels a mess but I think my wife feels like she had to choose. Am I wrong?
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Comments
You arent wrong but you will
You arent wrong but you will never win.
I think you are a stepdad, right? Its even more dangerous for you because they could fabricate stories of abuse if you respond to the "children" with the same energy
Be careful, you could end in jail as she will try to assault and if u defend yourself, you will go straight to you know where....
You cannot win, i advise to let her do what she wants with her daughter and never ever ever get involved....especially if she is manipulative as you mentioned
You did not make your wife
You did not make your wife choose between you and her daughter. You just said that her daughter is not welcome in your home. Your wife is welcome to see her daughter out of the home. They could even go and rent an airbnb to share during college vacations if she wanted.
You were absolutely right to go straight to the cops when your physical saftey was threatened. I called the cops on my husband's ex once, he was not happy about it at the time and told me not to, but I don't regret it one second. I did not press charges as it was unlikely to be successful but there was at least a record of the incident and his ex learnt that I am not afraid to proect myself if needed.
OP, seems like you plowed
OP, seems like you plowed through some pretty big red flags and married her anyway - but good for you for setting boundaries upfront on her ADULT daughter. I'll be honest though, I could not stay with someone who allowed their child to treat me badly and said NOTHING. You might want to dump this marriage quickly, it doesn't get easier to put up with your partner allowing their kids to treat you poorly.
My exact thoughts, but in the
My exact thoughts, but in the other hand I guess I feel like I let children win if I walk away but I'm definitely not gonna tolerate the disrespect. I tried to explain to my wife that when someone loves you they will not let anyone including their own children disrespect them. My wife really made me feel like I didn't matter when she said nothing to correct her adult child. On top of all that the daughter had the nerve to tell me she comes first! Everyone believes something different but I told my wife the order is GOD, our marriage and then her children. I really don't want to give up so soon but I clearly see how it's affecting our relationship. My wife seems so depressed and everyday I get an attitude about something. I'm sorry but I'm not getting disrespected by someone else's child. Her daughter has not said 2 words to her since this happened 3 weeks ago. I try to get my wife to see that her daughter is wrong but she just tells me I don't know what it's like to be a parent. Smh
Your wife telling you that
Your wife telling you that you don't know what it's like being a parent is gaslighting. That's a form of abuse.
Yes every time I give advice
Yes every time I give advice or disagree with something I'm always told, you don't have kids so you don't understand. I love my wife dearly but these kids are a major issue! My wife has 3 kids by 3 different men and none of them married her. I have no children at all and was willing to step up but I feel like I just get slapped in the face