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Terrified of SS7's lies.

New Mama's picture

After I received a 'lovely' call from SS7's school counselor yesterday because SS7 was going around telling other kids he was going to kill himself, DH and I sat down w/ SS7 last night to find out what the problem is.

SS7 says that other kids in his class are picking on him and being mean to him. Every time SS7 gets in trouble it's someone else's fault. And he is known to lie. I told SS7 that I was going to have a talk with his teacher to find out what is going on there and if I find out he's lying he will be in serious trouble with me. SS7 changed his story, it's the kids in his afterschool program. I then reminded SS7 that there are cameras in his afterschool care and I will be going to the office to view every tape of him. SS7 changed his story again, and again, and again.

DH and I have been called to a parent/teacher/principal conference that will be happening today at 3pm. I e-mailed SS7's teacher to ask about the other kids being mean to SS7 and she responded saying "We REALLY need to all talk in person." I'm terrified that they're going to tell us that SS7 has told them that he's abused at home or some retarded crap like that. Lord, help us.

An update to come later.

Comments

smileygirl's picture

I'll keep you in my thoughts. I know that feeling well and it makes me sick just thinking about it. If at all possible I would suggest that you/DH stay in constant contact with the school/after school program and get the kid into counseling if he's not already. If he is I would share the that information with the school/after school. SS has done this to us in the past, luckily now that we have him full time DH is SS's biggest adovcate. He has shared the kids entire sorted history with everyone. The school knows everything, the therpist is activly involved with them and it has gotten the kid out of a lot because they feel bad for him...BUT...it's also prompted them to just call me or DH and ask us what they want us to do whenever he starts spouting off yet another load of BS that could have CPS at my house.

Share, Share, Share as much info. as possible and pro-actively get counselors involved before you don't have a choice.

Ommy's picture

If you would like a tip on the lying. Have him write out what ever his responses are. Full sentences. If it is what he wants for dinner. What TV he wants to watch. What movie. What happened at school. Take his ability to lie away from him. Trust me after a day or two he wont want to waste his time writing out lie after lie.

StepX2's picture

Don't stress over the meeting. If the school suspected abuse, you would already know because school workers are mandated to report suspected abuse directly to CPS/DHS or what ever child protection agency you have in your state. The reporting process does not involve telling the suspected "abusers" before hand.
Wish you the best and update after the meeting please.

youngmama1b1g's picture

Very true.

More than likely it would seem that your SS is the bully. Don't be surprised to hear he's verbally abusive or purposely scaring kids with his "death" talk. He probably needs a better outlet for attention and a psychologist may be neccessary to help sort out any issues he has or just to give him that one-on-one he's clearly craving.

oneoffour's picture

Good luck!
Just know that if he has said you are being cruel to him at home they are court-mandated to report this and CPS would already be visiting you all.

Ask to view any taped evidence they have and request SS is there for the viewing.

Just know that kids will put off the inevitable. If they are yelled at for wrongdoings they will lie to put of being yelled at. It took me AGES to convince my kids "Tell the truth and I won't be angry. I will be disappointed and you may have some explaining to do."

smileygirl's picture

LMAO! Funny if your kid hasn't actually done these things....(she trails off with the wistful look and a sad sigh)