need help on SD from any BM's
SD played sick from school yesterday. There is a dance tonight and BF told her since she missed school Thursday, no dance on Friday.
Do you agree with his decision?
How do you handle this type of situation?
also, I was going to take her shopping on Sunday for a dress for a formal dance in February. I think I should also revoke this privilege until her next stay with us due to missing school.
BF and I think we should do this to deter SD from playing sick from school in the future. We know she was just playing, she had no fever and didn't want to go to the dr.
Any input?
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The rule my mom used to have
The rule my mom used to have was.. If you miss school on a day of a dance/prom etc.. then no dance. She did not have rules about missing school if it was in the same week.
Is it possible she was just feeling a bit yucky and wanted to stay home.. say cramps/headache/just feeling under the weather. Not all illnesses carry a temp. Just a thought.
If you decide no to the dance tonight.. that is one thing.. but to say no to the formal dance in Feb I think would be pushing the punishment a bit far.. remember.. the punishment must fit the crime. Does disallowing her to go to a formal in February fit the crime of staying home from school 1 day in January?? I personally dont think so.
I may have confused you about.....
she would not miss the dance in february, the shopping for the dress would be postponed from this Sunday to two weeks from now. She is still going to the dance in February.
Rules
I am not a BM to a daughter, but I do have a SD(7). I also am a BM to a son(10). Below is how I would handle this.
If you honestly know that SD was pulling a "Ferris" than I say go ahead and stop her from attending dance tonight. However, if SD was feeling under the weather than you might want to let her go to the dance tonight.
I don't think you should not go dress shopping for a dance in February. I think that would be pushing the punishment a little too far. Trust me, if SD can't go to the dance tonight then she will feel that the punishment was enough. SD will probably re-think her decision for skipping school again.
"Sometimes you have to test the limits to show you're not a doormat."
Ohhhh.. sorry.. thought
Ohhhh.. sorry.. thought you meant cancel her dance plans for Feb. as well... Ummmm.. not sure if a postponement for dress shopping would drive the point home.. and postponing until closer to the date might drive you a bit batty if the dress supply runs low.. and then who are you really punishing... LOL
thanks all
I appreciate your comments, I will talk to hubby about dance decision.
letting sd go to dance....
sd illness may have been pre-menstral and we are letting sd go to the dance.
I feel bad that I jump to conclusions and don't trust sd. Kids and school are just the same as us and work, sometimes you just need a day off.
thanks for all the advice. i wish this wasn't so hard.
When
I was a kid (until a senior in high school), if I missed school MY FATHER (NOT MOTHER)would get home from work, skip dinner and drive us to the doctor (20 miles away) EVERY TIME WE missed school. I had perfect attendance most years.
My kids were very good students so if once in a while they didn't want to go to school, I'd let them stay home-----so they didn't have to lie.
Every kid is different. Every situation is different. Being too severe is as bad as being to lax.