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Disengage step daughter

NEM's picture

DH decided to take me away camping yesterday for a night sounded great. We packed up feeling great left at lunch time for our 1 hour trip up the river. Half way there his phone rings it's SD he dosnt answer she calls again he ignores it he's driving I swear it's like she's always known when were having a good time or celebrating something bam there she is. So we arrive set up camp about 2 hours later he shows me texts from her, there pretty much the same texts she sent him 2 days before it's like 1 week of dealing with her again ( DH ) and she's acting like nothing happened I swear her goal is to smother him & show me she ain't going anywhere. I feel disrespected by DH this girl bragged how she used my toothbrush to clean toilet, sent pics of aborted featus's when I miscarriaged, told him I was having an affair as I had an old Facebook account that hasn't been used in years as I can't get back into it, told me to sleep with one eye open when DH did night shift. Him dealing with her now is like he's saying it dosnt matter there's been no apology to me & I wouldn't respond or accept it. How do you ladies manage to stay sane when DH is off with SD ? Does it get easier ? When will I not care ?


Aunt Agatha's picture

My DH parents his kids.  If any one of them pulled any of this shit, he would be on it.  Kids aren't perfect as they are still learning so make mistakes. But your SD is nuts and he should only be seeing her away from your home.

Any other response from him and you have a DH problem.

NEM's picture

She's 29 Not a child anymore & yes totally nuts DH will only be seeing her outside our home. I don't know what I expect him to do I feel let down I know if my Bio child has done half the things to him that she has done to me and himself he would of left me along time ago

Winterglow's picture

Personally, whenever I am away/out anywhere with DH, our phones are always turned off. We all survived fine before these things were invented ...

Even if his wasn't turned off, he should have turned it off after the first attempt by SD to contact him.

Kes's picture

I am surprised that, with the things that she has done (ie toothbrush, pics of foetuses) that your DH is having anything to do with his daughter, to be honest.  If one of my bios treated my DH like that, they would not hear from me again for the forseeable future, at least until there had been a most grovelling apology and an assurance such actions would never happen again.  

NEM's picture

Well after around 5 years of mainly no contact she's trying to grovel her way back in with him , right now she's telling him everything he wants to hear but nothing about me.She only ever wanted it to be them both & now her F/child so by me disengaging  I've given her what she wants 

Steptotheright's picture

Agreed with Hen.  That is a level of maliciousness that you shouldn't have to deal with, and because of the stress caused, you shouldn't even have to hear about this person, frankly.

I'd be interested to know what DH did when he heard that she treated you so badly.. Was there any repercussions from his side?

NEM's picture

Yes there was but he commented that it was his baby too so she hurt him also so f##k that it hurt me make it more about yourself. DH cut most contact for 5 years other than her every few months abuse texts but now apparently she's seen the light & apologised to DH not me & she wants to put the past behind them & move forward. Her words to him were " if I really think I want to be around her then she'll try " & then she gives conditions lol 

Ispofacto's picture

New rule.  If DH wants to do anything with you, he turns his phone off or blocks her for the duration of your event.  If you hear/see one call or text during an event, you're out.