update on step-sister and after 9 years of NO CONTACT bio-dad is trying to get back in the picture!!
I honestly feel like I should sell my life to a producer and let them make a tv series about it! I could make a fortune!!!
Since my last post (Step-sister making a scene at my celebratory dinner and then calling her mom to come get her and waking up the next day to a next message from her mom saying that i'm the reason why her daughter is starting to hate her dad and saying that i should "back-off") things have been good! Mom, step-dad, sister and me came back from Miami on Friday. Think everyone needed that little vacation! I paid my confrimation fee for medical school - IT'S OFFICAL!!! IN 4 YEARS I'LL HAVE AN M.D!!! and i won't have to move. Mom, step-dad and my sister are really happy for me!! Haven't heard from my step-sister since the day she left and I have to say that the house environment is pretty nice. Not gonna lie, for some reason i miss the kid a little, but until BOTH her and her mom don't apologize to me, she isn't coming back (mom and step-dad's orders)
Now for the icing on the cake, yesterday was Canada day and my bio-dad's parents asked if my sister and me would go see them for a bit. Just cause their son (My Bio-dad) hasn't seen or talked to us in 9 years doesn't mean we have to cut them off too. Both mom and step-dad actually encuraged us to spend time with them. We go and have lunch and we're just talking, then my grandma says that she has something she wants to tell us. She tells us that Bio-dad is moving back to the city soon and wants to meet with us. Let's just say my sister wasn't impressed. She basically says that he had nine years for that and he didn't, so why now??!!. Then my grandpa tells us the what's been going on in my Bio-dad's life recently. Apparently, his daughter(8) passed away from lupus a couple of months back and this has caused a lot of friction between him and his wife. Put it short, their getting divorced. I'm literally sitting there and I say "and". After him and mom divorced 9 years ago, he moved to a different province and completly cut-off me and my sister. Complete radio silence for 9 years and now that he's losing everything he suddently remembers that he has two kids. I'm not saying that we should have been the top priotiy to him but at least we should have at least mattered to him enough to keep in contact with us. I explained to my grandparents when he left I went thorugh a lot. i went depresssed for nearly a near. I was a mute. I didn't talk to anyone and if i did, it was very brief. Mom put me in councelling and that didn't work cause I wouldnt' talk. I just sat their staring at my feet for an hour. My sister went through stuff too but she was more concerned about me. When mom and step-dad starting dating, mom took things very slow for my sake cause i was terrfied that she would leave my sister and me too. My step-dad took things very slow for my sake as well. They he didn't move in until after a year and a half of them dating and both of them asked me if i was confortable with it. I started repecting my step-dad when i overheard my mom and him talking about potentially moving in and my mom told him that they would have to wait a while longer cause she didn't want to push me over the edge (whatever that means) and my step-dad goes to my mom "I totally understand that, i want needhelp to be confortable around me too and I don't want to think i'm taking you from him. I dont want him to view me as a threat, i want him to see me as a friend" WHO SAYS THAT. Only a one of a kind human being would think about someone else's kid like that. When Bio-dad was doing god knows what and god knows who, my step-dad was here making sure I was safe and okay. That's probably why i'm so close to my step-dad. Mom even says that more closer to my step-dad than I am to her. I love them both but can you blame me? Can u also blame me for developing "feelings" (btw I made an apponitment to see a therepist next week to overcome this in a healthy way)
Grandparents said that we were being childish and looking out to punish bio-dad and that he's my dad and will always be. Would I be childish if i decide to not have a relationship with him when he moves here? Like what happened in the past is in the past, no one can change it. Life goes on. I moved on. Bio-dad is my "father"- he did bring me into his world but he lost the right to be referred as my "dad". My step-dad has raised me for 9 years and where i am today is because of him and my mom. He cares and loves me as if i was his own son. Step-dad was there for me when I needed him the most. He is my dad (even though i don't call "dad", I consider him my dad) and no one is going to change that!!! not grandparents and not bio-dad. I don't hate bio-dad the truth is i don't care that much about him to even hate him(i know it sounds bad but that's how i feel). His marriage ending and his child passing away is not really my problem. I can sympathiaze for him, but that's all.
Am I really being childish and immature for not wanting to have a relationship with him??? Does that make me a bad person??? My grandparents told us, they gave him our numbers and e-mails!! What do I say if/when he does contact me??
Man, all i asked for was a drama free summer but I have a feeling this just the calm before the storm.