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Step-sister doesn't quit. Enough is Enough!!

needhelp2018's picture

I haven't posted in a few weeks cause everything has been good, Until today. 

My step-sister has upped her game. Now she's spreading lies not just about me, but about step-dad too. I had brunch with my cousins(step-dad's brother son and daughter), we're pretty close in age (he's 23 and she's 19), so we've always  just click. My cousin asks me how's everything going with step-sister and I tell him the truth-which is not good. My other cousin now tells me that step-sister has bee saying things recently. I asked her what has she been saying now? Turns out step-sister has been telling people that she walked in me and step-dad having sex and she overheard him saying that he's going to leave my mom for me.............................

How does a person respond to that!!?? I ask her who told her that, she tells me that step-sister told her that and she's been saying the same thing to other people too. This girl is out to get me. I have a target on my back and I don't know what to do!! I ask them both if they know whose she been telling this too; they say they don't know. luckly they don't believe her. I asked them if they told their parents and they didn't. If she's saying that to people in the family, what is she telling other people (she has a big mouth) 

She's describing me as a characterless human being that would basically hurt anyone i want-including my own mom! For the past 3 years, I felt really guilting for developing feelings for my step-dad, but i kept it to myself and no one was supposed to find out (step-sister ratted me out). Things between step-dad and myself haven't changed at all and he promised that he'll always have my back. Fortunaetly both mom and step-dad have had my back sice this messed up situation started. I even told my step-dad that if he starts to resent me or wants to back away from me a bit, i'll understand. Step-dad goes to me that i've done noting wrong and step-sister is in the wrong. He also told me that he's not taking sides or playing favorties. He's just standnig up for what's right,; he even said he loves my sister and myself as such as me loves step-sister. He assured me that none of this is my fault and that my step-sister needs to grow up. (Therpay is going great btw. my therapist and me have come to the conculsion that i've been combining my longing  for a father figure and attraction together. Learning to differenaite the both )

I don't know if i should tell him this or not. It's step-sister 16th birthday next week and I don't want any problems cause if anything happens ,I just know that my stepsister and her mom are gonna blame me for it. Don't know if step-dad is going to do anything for her birthday-not my business, not my problem. After hearing the rumour about me, I don't think me and step-sister will ever have a brother sister relaionship ever, even if she does ever apologize, I don't trust her. My sister already doesn't want anything to do her with. Guess i'll just follow her lead. My sister is saying that step-sister is showing signs of Narcissistic personality disorder and she needs therapy. I'm going to keep that to myself tho.

OH almost forgot to mention, i've been seeing this guy for 2 weeks. Not dating or anything just going out for coffee, lunch, dinner, bowling, stuff like that. Met him at the gym. He's 28, 6ft 4, very musclar, and he's a police officer!. He's really nice, caring, and funny too. Yeah we've just been texting and hanging out a bit. Noting overnight tho cause i live at home with mom and step-dad, and not ready to cross that bridge yet. Orientation for med school is in 2 weeks!! Really excited about that too!!

Comments

24 years as a SM's picture

What your step sister is doing is called Slander and it needs to stop. You need to talk with your mom and Stepdad about this. An attorney can send her a cease and desist letter. I doubt that it will stop her, but at least she will be warned to keep her damn mouth shut. She is old enough to know better than to mouth off to people like this. She is not only slandering you, but her own father too. enough is enough.

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

What does any of this whole saga have to do with this website? I fully support your right to be drama free from whatever is happening in your life. I feel that maybe another website would fit your current events better. Perhaps one that addresses LGBT issues specifically?

GrabitAndGo's picture

Thank you!  I've been thinking the same thing.  An LGBT community might find this situation much more believable, too.

needhelp2018's picture

I was on a couple and the response I got from there wasn't really appropriate. I'm really sorry if I'm wasting your time or anything. It's just that I know this site for step parents and their issues with step kids and I know that my issues aren't with a step kid or step parent, but with my step sibling. It was just I didn't know where else to turn. The response I got from here has been positive as well. That's all. I'm sorry if I'm bothering you in anyway

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

Are really more of an LGBT issue. The person who is harassing you for your sexuality is inconsequential. You need support from people who are more experienced with this. 

needhelp2018's picture

And I've been told just to ignore it or move out  Don't know where else to turn to. The support I get from here is positive from here too. 

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

Based on your added chit chat about your dating life and other things, you seem really to need a friend to confide in, someone to talk with that can provide more personal feedback to your life. While we can give you pep talks to stay strong, I am very strongly encouraging you to find a support group with more experience and who understand what is happening on a deeper level. Or perhaps sit with your parents and work out a plan to get the harassment to stop permanently. Since you want to be a doctor, nasty rumors can hurt your future career. Once again, most of our experience is as adults in a step role situation. 

Areyou's picture

Why don’t you move out. You’re old enough to live on your own. Let the home be for the minor children. Ignore stupid SD.

StepUltimate's picture

Thanks for your update, sounds like your sister is on to something, maybe step-sister is a narcissist. Either way, sorry you're going through this. Whatever her issues are, shouldn't be lying about you. I agree with the above that is slander and that needs to stop! 

Regarding you working with a counselor, good for you. Sounds like it's already helping you clarify some things that were awkward and confusing for you. I am glad your step-father is a good-guy and admire his response about trying to be fair. I am also glad you're going out with someone and just moving forward; sounds like you're doing well in spite of the b.s. stepsister is pulling. 

Best to you. Thanks again for the update. 

LimaPapa's picture

You're not wasting anyone's time on this forum.  If you gain knowledge or some insight from the folks here, good for you.   

I can only imagine that being in your situation is confusing since you are so young and still figuring yourself out. 

I agree with some of the other posters that you should be looking for your own place.  Get out there and make your own way, you're on the right track with school and counseling.  And keep doing what your doing by ignoring Step sis she sounds confused and jealous (and vulgar)  what a turd...

Evil3's picture

Please stay on this forum. You having a step-sister and having step problems makes it appropriate for you to be here. Besides, after what a lot of us step-parents post about the abuses we receive from our SKs, it's really nice to see you write such positives about your step-dad.

Although your step-sister's rumour is so off the wall that it's impossible for anyone in their right mind to believe, it's still obviously upsetting to you. Since you have posted about your positive relationship with your sdad, why don't you tell him the latest? Or are you afraid he'll get sick of hearing of all the awful things his DD does? Can you tell your mom? Also, if you have had a breakthrough in counselling where you realized that you have inadvertently combined your craving for a dad and attraction, I don't see anything wrong with sharing that with your dad. He seems to have stood by you and is totally supportive of you and he might be pleased that you've had a breakthrough. That is in my humble opinion of course.

How exciting that your orientation starts in two weeks! Keep us posted and tell us how it goes.