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NCMilGal's Blog

Visitation is done for the summer

NCMilGal's picture

SD15 left for BM's house today. It was an... *interesting* month.

We technically had her for four weeks, but I offered her 12 days at a residential writing camp - she loved it. Then we all ended up stuck in a hotel room (well, small suite) for another week while waiting for the contractor to finish the tornado repair work.

What should I say to BM?

NCMilGal's picture

Due to some early ugliness, I disengaged from BM a couple years ago.

1) We are extremely long-distance NCPs, so there's no need for frequent pick-up/drop-off interaction.
2) Any talking about SD15 should be between the bio-parents.
3) BM is a nasty, gossiping, backstabbing piece of work who I wouldn't be friends with, EVER.

Recording calls

NCMilGal's picture

Well ladies,

After finding out this week that BM took a belt to SD15, we found out that she's been spanked by her stepfather the week before, as well as roughed up by him. BM apparently calls this "disciplining" her.

I am FURIOUS. I told DH today that I'm going into court mode. We want custody. Our current issue is that we have NO proof of BM's and SF's emotional and physical abuse.

One step forward - how many back?

NCMilGal's picture

So, SD15 has been increasingly miserable over the last year or so.

On my last blog, (missed the comments until now - darn no tracking!) someone suggested she was spoiled and attention seeking, so I'll post my reply here:

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Actually, she's about as far from spoiled as you can get.

While she's a motormouth and will talk your ear off, she says "yes, ma'am, yes, sir" and hops to any chores you ask of her quickly and cheerfully.

She has decent grades and isn't running around smoking or drinking.

Teenaged fashion

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SD15 wants to dye her hair. She's got light brown super-wavy thick hair and fair skin that tans easily.

What color, you ask? Not pink, not blue, not black, not bleached blonde... she wants a deep brunette.

BM will allow her to dye her hair, but only red. (BM is a redhead) Who does that? I see it this way: a) no dye. Period. b) Natural colors only, that are complimentary to your skin tone. c) Do what you want, it's only hair. But to say, "Yes, you can dye it, but only the color *I* want." That's just bizzare to me.

BM shows her class - and, a letter from SD15

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Class A jackassery, that is.

BM is a 'Good Christian woman' who castigates DH for cussing - has hung up on him because he asked her, "Can I get one f-ing word in edgewise??" while she was screaming at him.

Fast-forward six months, and... DH was on the phone with SD15. BM starts in on SD15, calling her 'a f-ing manipulative little b#####' etc. Where's the good Christian behavior in calling your own daughter nasty names?

At the same time, I said something about it to SD15 (we email just about daily and have a pretty good relationship) her reply:

Okay, need advice w/SD15

NCMilGal's picture

STalkers, I need you to write this email for me.

SD15 has repeatedly gotten in trouble for explicitly texting (oops, phone's gone) and IMing boys over the last year.

I offered her a Young Writer's camp for Xmas (it's worth over $2k when all is said and done) with the caveat that she behave, ffs.

Riiight - late February, she's back at it again. So we took away the camp. That's money down the drain, but it's the principle of the thing.

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