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BM needs to just drop off the planet

mshilton16's picture

Ok, so I've disengaged completely with BM since joining ST and opening my eyes to the wonderful world of cutting BM out of my life. I completely stopped engaging in her shenanigans with SS amd put a halt to attending events that my involvement wasn't necessary. However, things have only seemed to have worsened and now she's seemingly reaching for me and DH any way she possibly can. 

We get SS11 EOW. The week he was at her house I got a random text message from her asking me to download an app called Marco Polo (where people chat together by sending each other videos). At first glance I took it as spam and disregarded it. Later, she sends me another text and says "it's not spam, SS is wanting to send you videos, please download". Ugh, fine. So I do. 

She sends me videos of herself talking to me with SS in the background (who is clearly forced to be in the videos). He acted completely shy and uncomfortable -- which is very not normal of SS. He loves attention, being in front of cameras, etc. I didn't respond to her and was honestly taken back by her being so forward and friendly to me... sending me videos of herself talking to me and using SS as a weird pawn in her videos. 

The next week when we had SS I told him it was unlike him to be shy in any video and he informed me "oh, I wasn't shy, I was annoyed because of how drunk my mom was and how dumb she was being". I thought to myself, drunk? That explains a lot!

Mind you, she's a mental health professional. *eye rolls*

Then today I get another weird reach out from her. Quarantine hasn't been easy on anyone and while being quarantined with DH we've had a little more arguments than usual. Not long after SS went to BM's house we get a text message from her asking if things are ok between us (meaning DH &I) because SS mentioned to her that we've been fighting a lot. It's "concerning" to her and she wants to know if we need any help or if SS should be spending more time with her until we can get along. 

Seriously?! Where does anyone get off to text something like that to her ex husband and his current wife ? I don't understand this woman and even though I'm disengaging from her as much as humanly possible she's still finding ways to push her foot in door. I don't know what more to do besides just telling the b*tch off, which I don't want to do because it will only open a whole other can of worms with SS. But really, who wants to be in a marriage where the ex-wife is trying to offer up couples counseling via text?? I can't. I simply can't.
 

extra: DH simply responded to her text "Everything is fine. Thank you tho"

Comments

hereiam's picture

Disengagement from BM can get worse before it gets better. She's trying to keep you engaged, don't fall for it. You absolutely should not have downloaded that app just because she told you to.

Your DH should have ignored her, not thanked her for offering to help you guys with your marriage!

To be honest, I'd be insecure to let it go back to her and him texting each other on the side without me because she such a seductress and would only find ways to go back to being friends with DH.

Well, she could only go back to being friends with your DH if HE let her, so, he's part of the problem.

I would block her completely, but I don't trust her.

The truth of the matter is, you don't completely trust him, either.

beebeel's picture

"Well, we have had some heated discussions about our concerns that you've been sloppy drunk around SS and forcing him to make social media videos with you. But I think we found a solution, thanks!"

mshilton16's picture

Haha. I had drafted up a response very similar to that, actually. I opted not to send it though and just continue to ignore her. At this point I'm hoping if I just continue to not respond to her crazines she will eventually wear herself down.