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Question about holidays when you have skids & bios w/ your dh's

msg1986's picture

So every year Bm has Xmas eve and Dh gets Xmas morning. This is simply because that is what Bm demanded every year and Dh played along so by the time I came on the scene this was an established thing. I never really thought much of it and just went with the flow because I was never really an xmas person but now that I'm about to have my DD now I'm curious how this this will pan out. Every year Bm tries to keep Ss into late morning so she can basically have him xmas eve and also get a xmas morning too, so I'm wondering how this will play out when Dd gets older. Are we supposed to wait around to open gifts until we're able to get Ss? Do you guys wait around for your skids? I almost feel like it would be like xmas will be revolving around Ss, who will get the full thing w/ his mom and then come get the full thing with us while my daughter has to wait around until Ss arrives and gets shafted and that idea makes me feel resentful.. I know I know, I shouldn't be letting it get to me and it hasn't happened yet but I'm hormonal. anyway just curious how you all handle the holidays when you have bio's w/ your dh/dw and skids. haha.

Comments

askYOURdad's picture

I think whatever you want to do to make xmas special is what you do. For us, we try and do xmas when everyone is together, to me its a day all about family and not about presents (and when you have two families as a child it's easy to get caught up in the ladder.) Sometimes we do xmas early, sometimes a day late, one year we did individual gifts separately and group gifts the next day. When you are juggling two schedules you just have to reach the conclusion that it will never be "nuclear family style" and find your own way.

It will be a few years before your DD even knows what the excitement is about. Start a tradition where she gets her favorite breakfast and a trinket type gift early and the santa stuff gets done when everyone is there. If your BM is anything like mine do not let her know you are waiting on her act as if you dont have a care in the world.

step off already's picture

This morning will be the first time that SS13 goes to his mom's on Christmas morning. DH and BM are supposed to meet at 9 am at the exchange location which is 30 minutes from our home.

My children will also be home with me for Xmas eve and morning, but I will bring them to their Dad's later that morning/ early afternoon or he'll come over to pick them up.

Perhaps I'll use the time to do something special with my kids or I'll give them a special something - not really sure, but I'll make the best of it since DH will have to run off to take SS and will be gone for an hour.

It is what it is.

whatwasithinkin's picture

You dont disrupt the current scheduled for your SS for Christmas and Ill be honest if your DH gets every Christmas and she has taken Christmas eve it is so much easier then the way the courts split the holiday. My exchange time is noon on Christmas and back at 6pm. That is a huge pain for my ex and I so we work around it.

Create your own traditions, SS can join when he gets there

Stupidlyoptimistic's picture

On the years that we get skids Christmas Day (at 2:00), we let BS3 open presents and do Santa in the morning, but we save a few for when the skids get here and open presents. I don't think it is fair to him to have to wait when they are getting to open stuff in the morning at BM's. This also helps with the fact that BS3 gets a few more presents than skids. They know, and they also know why, but we keep some presents separate so no one gets their feelings hurt. (SIDE NOTE: Skids know that BS3 only gets presents here, and they get them at two homes. We made it sound like they are the lucky ones because they get two bday parties, two Christmases, etc. Once we explained that to them, we've never heard another thing about it.) I think you'll just have to see what works best for your family.

CM23's picture

I'm new to this and the acronyms, so stay with me.... When it is Christmas time, BM and DH switch every year. On our off year, we have Santa come on Xmas Eve morning and we get the day with SK, and then on christmas morning Santa comes again for BS (allows him to open presents on Christmas morning and allowing him a little extra being the SKs get presents at both homes). And the same goes for our years. Christmas eve BM gets presents and Christmas day SK and BS get presents from Santa. It is important to us to all be together... It has worked thus far!!!

CM23's picture

I'm new to this and the acronyms, so stay with me.... When it is Christmas time, BM and DH switch every year. On our off year, we have Santa come on Xmas Eve morning and we get the day with SK, and then on christmas morning Santa comes again for BS (allows him to open presents on Christmas morning and allowing him a little extra being the SKs get presents at both homes). And the same goes for our years. Christmas eve BM gets presents and Christmas day SK and BS get presents from Santa. It is important to us to all be together... It has worked thus far!!!