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haircut as punishment

Mrs Fireball's picture

Dad and SM made the daughter get her haircut super short after getting highlights for her birthday. It seems pretty cruel to me.


DaizyDuke's picture

Something's fishy with the whole thing. BM doesn't have custody... why?? and someone started a FB page to "help BM pay for lawyer etc to go back to court and get her daughter back" WTF?

I seriously don't trust ANYTHING I see on the internet anymore. I swear every freaking hot button story I see is either totally fabricated, totally inflated or totally something that shouldn't be a "story" anyway.

Teas83's picture

My first instinct was that what the father and SM did wasn’t right. But it’s interesting that BM doesn’t have custody. I didn’t know that detail originally. It does make you wonder what else we don’t know.

DaizyDuke's picture

.. and oops, I meant someone started a Go Fund Me page to raise money for BM. The whole thing is just shady... and honestly anytime you are only getting one side of a story, it's not a good idea to jump to any conclusions.

Teas83's picture

Definitely. It’s too bad that with the way social media works these days, people jump on board right away without getting the other side. I’ll be curious to see if anything else comes out.

Willow2010's picture

Yea…I think the whole thing was either fake (am I allowed to say that? Lol) OR the BM and kid did it to get custody back to BM.

I lean toward fake though. I was really mad at first, but then I read a lot about it and saw many other pictures. You never see the kids face in the pictures after the haircut. Then in the follow up pictures, the kid has on the worst wig I have ever seen. In the pictures I saw…none of the faces were blurred out.

I am not buying it.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

May we add that a parent could have very valid reasons for not allowing highlights. Poor attitude, bad grades, legal issues, ect. It might not be a normal way of disciplining but if the girl and BM were clearly informed that highlights were not to happen and then did what does the parent do? We have no clue about the background of this story. The reasons why or anything like that. We have a biomother who had no right to do anything to the girls hair since if I understand correctly she doesn't have custody. We have the custodial parents who reacted to it. We have nothing else. My SO is the noncustodial parent. Though he CAN do alot of things we respect that it's not our place to do anything big and yes highlights can be a big deal depending on all sorts of things.

I agree that way we handle issues like this now adays give reason for people to manipulate the system. I'm betting there's a fundraising campaign out there for this now?

Time and time again we see these viral stories turn out to be lies or exaggerations.

I'm not saying this is ok. I'm saying it should have stayed at home and in that court system. Think of all the damage this can cause to other families out there now.

michen's picture

Well the father and stepmother were suspended from their firefighting jobs. It sounds real. A kid caught between two terrible parents. Very sad.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Any time there is controversy people get suspended. It doesn't matter if there is truth behind it or not until things are sorted out people get called off. They have to seem like they are doing something or else the fire-station will be dragged into this.

Thats why so many of us here are terrified of CPS reports being made against us even if there is no fact in them. An allegation is enough to cost many of us our jobs.

DaizyDuke's picture

I work with a guy who got suspended (with pay) due to what were later determined to be false allegations, doesn't mean anything.

ESMOD's picture

I'm guessing that the girl was expressly forbidden from doing the highlights to her hair.. probably due to some behavioral issue. Disney Mom and princess decided to thumb their noses at daddeee.

Daddy and evilSM decided to teach princess what happens when you do exactly what you were told not to.

It seems cruel... but we don't know what situations are present. Perhaps the girl was doing drugs or had some extreme behavior that her father was working on and he felt he had to go to extreme lengths?

I know my DH was livid when he expressly told his YSD to not go back to cheerleading after she broke her arm so badly that she had to be airlifted to the pediatric ER. Mommy falsified a doctor's note so that YSD could cheer in a competition... She also allowed her to continue to do her HS game cheering in addition to her competition. I found pics of her doing stunts at games after the injury. But... ultimately... what could he do when the custodial parent was complicit in allowing her to do things he was against?

But mommee wanted to be fun mom.. and she liked the moty attention she got when her girl was on display... sick.. but it's in the past now.

Ironically, the YSD doesn't spend a whole lot of time with her mom now that she is on her own... (after her mom borrowed lots of money and never paid her back lol).

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Her not having custody makes me wonder... In my house growing up we weren't allowed to dye our hair. If I had mine probably would have been chopped off. I would have broken the rules, without permission. What else were they going to do? Let me keep it when I knew it wasn't allowed?

At first I didn't think it was okay... But everything else makes me wonder if maybe they were explicitly told no and she had been given a warning and she decided to basically say "f*** you" and do it anyways... So then they followed through with it. Like what do you even do in that situation. You say no, the kid goes off with BM and does EXACTLY what you said not to do. I could see why they'd just chop it at that point... Idk if that's abuse or if it's an upset teenager facing consequences for breaking the rules...

I'm torn. I don't know all the fact, and idk if either side was completely in the right..

still learning's picture

"Her not having custody makes me wonder.."

Maybe dad had more money, a better living situation and a better lawyer at the time of their divorce. Who knows, but she obviously has unsupervised visitation and is fighting for custody of her daughter.

Mrs Fireball's picture

The way I see it is the girl is caught between her parents fight. She is being wooed by BM (see, I'm the cool parent and I'll let you get highlights), daughter goes through with the highlights despite dad not wanting her to, and dad gets revenge on BM and shows DD that he is in charge by cutting her hair off. Then BM goes on social media to get revenge on dad and SM.

Very sad.

advice.only2's picture

I just don't know if this is real, in the pictures with her hair chopped off she covering her face, so you never really see if it's the same person.

also the wig she chose is a jet black (why? her hair was brown with blonde highlights)...but in certain shots you can see brown hair peeking through....almost like she had put the wig on as a joke taking pictures and it wasn't on properly.

I just know for me I would never contribute to a go fund me page for people I didn't know and just because there was a story about it on social media. This allegedly took place in Ohio and we have the name of all the culprits involved, it doesn't take much to do a little research to see if things were even filed or if this is just an elaborate hoax to fund a BM's vacation.

moving_on_again's picture

What I don't understand is why they didn't just dye it back.

BM took failing SS out of school to get a tattoo when he was 17 and we were in the middle of a custody battle. We just told him it was dumb.

KittyKatMomma's picture

Ive been following this story for quite some time-SM took the girl to her cousin who is a hair dresser.
SM and Dad held the girl down and the cousin shaved her down.

There's been numerous complaints against the cousin for cutting the girl's hair against her will.
And every article I read-Mom and Dad shared custody.

GrabitAndGo's picture

I don't know if the story is real or not, but I would consider cutting off the girl's hair to be excessive. They couldn't come up with some other punishment? So many details are missing it's hard to judge.

Mrs Fireball's picture

This reminds me of Cersei getting her hair chopped off in Game of Thrones. CONFESS!!

still learning's picture

I forbade my daughter to dye her hair but lo and behold she came out of the bathroom one day with a streak of pink in her blond hair and the next week it was jet black (going through the emo stage). I was pissed but dealing with a teen I knew that I had to put it all in perspective and choose my battles. I let her win the hair battles as long as she was getting good grades and being responsible at home.

I couldn't imagine shaving a child's head because she got highlights. That's a horrible thing to do to a young girl who had very long beautiful hair. As mentioned above, the cousin could have dyed the hair back to her natural color rather than giving her a traditional boy haircut.

The father will lose custody since the act was so egregious and has went viral and girl will likely choose not to live with him anymore.

stepmomfromhell's picture

The girl was fitted with a wig, not the best but the girl seems to like it and that's all what counts. But if she has to visit dad and sm they could end up taking the wig and destroying it if they think the girl having the wig is sticking it to them.

Hair takes 6 weeks on average to grow 1 inch. So by next December arrives, her hair will have grown back. I think in this case, boundries were crossed, and her father and sm should not be given visitation for awhile.

notasm3's picture

From the pictures that I’ve seen her head was not shaved. Her hair was cut off very short.

I’ve seen multiple versions of a short pixie cut come into style during my lifetime. Sort of like what Mia Farrow had decades ago.
There’s a huge difference between a shaved head and a short haircut.

Acratopotes's picture

Ihave one question on this, if it was true, how did the Dad and SM got the girl to sit still in the chair, while a hair dresser chopped of her hair..

Afterwards the girl was seeing wearing wigs etc,

My stance on this, parents got played, this is how I see it

Brat: Dad can I have high lights
Dad: Let's talk about it before the holidays and if you keep up your grades (normally men gives a shit)

Brat: Mum can I have high lights, Dad said fine
Mum takes brat to get highlights

(back at Dad's)
Dad: WTF I said we will talk about it, how dare you
Brat: Mum made me do it, she said you have no say it's my hair, and i hate hate it,
Dad: Well what's done is done.

Brat storms up to her room and starts cutting into her hair like a 3 year old, to show Dad she hates Mum and she did not want high lights, Mum forced her... SM and Dad is in utter shock, they take her to the hair dresser to get her her nicely cut...

Mum runs to social media with this story about her daughter being forced, Brat plays along nicely, she wants to stay with BM where there's no rules and consequences

stepmomfromhell's picture

A 13 yr old can't plot like that, maybe if she was 15 or older, this is a teen that has just turned 13, so I don't think she has the mental capacity to hatch out a plan like that.

I went into facebook and saw sm and she also has gorgeous hair. I think sm may have thought that sd and her mom may have crossed the line getting a hairstyle that resembled hers (sm's), so sd's hair had to go.

Any way Dad and sm are being investigated and I guess we'll truly know exactly why they took such actions. My hunch, they were mad at bm for changing sd's hair, and instead of taking it up with the ex they directed it onto sd.

Acratopotes's picture

:jawdrop: a 6 year old can plot like that, remember you are dealing with parents who got divorced, both feel guilty about it, and the child plays them off against each other, cause none of the parents are parenting, they are trying to be the nice parent and make the other parent out as evil...

Dang, my parents aren't even divorced and the way I tried to play them off against each other started way before age 13 lol..... they did catch me out and yes there where consequences, but only because they where together and talked about it in the evenings.... when parents are divorced it's a whole different ball game... the kid's know exactly what they are doing..

Aergia tried playing SO and BM off against each other age 12, she told SO she's staying with BM, and she told BM she's not coming over that evening... BM and SO never spoke to each other, guess what, this 12 year old girl was running around town looking like 16 and hanging with guys of 18... invited them to the house for a party.... 3am on a Sunday morning a parent called SO and asked him how can he allow under age girls partying with 18+ year old guys, drinking and smoking.... We went home immediately and what did Aergia do, cried and said her mother threw her out of the house at 1am and she was scared to stay alone in our house, she was not drinking... kid could not stand up straight and SO believed her, never talked to BM about it..

stepmomfromhell's picture

Still don't think a kid that age can plot like that, too many fine details to hatch a plan like that. Plus a girl is to vain about her hair and even more so as an early teen.

And from what I read the SM got one of her relatives to come and cut her hair real short and restyle it. Go into facebook SM's name is Sarah Murray, you can find her and her little one on her facebook page banner. I just think that she doesn't want sd to look like her so I think she got her dh to do something about it. Who knows, maybe she thought sd and her having the same hairstyle was too weird.

And yes sm does have very beautiful hair.

Both the police department and Wood County Children’s services have since launched an investigation into a possible child abuse complaint. The local fire chief, where Frederick and Murray both work, said the pair have been placed on leave pending the investigation. The Facebook post has since been shared more than 24,500 times.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

OH trust me. Even younger can plot things like that.

I won't go into details but at 12 I was fully capable of that kind of thought and behavior and that was without the help of internet and social media.