I am seeking a better understanding of the pressures a stepmother feels.

DW gets resentment from me when I resist her suggestions on how to deal with my kids. My daughter tries to drive a wedge between us when ever she sees the opportunity. The ex tries to take any point of pride from her about the good that she does for the kids bad mouthing her behind her back. None of our friends are divorced so she gets little support or sympathy from them. The pressures and aggravation are ceaseless.