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Internet is Down and I Love It

morrginme's picture

Obviously I have data on my phone so I can post this but the there is no WiFi because of nonpayment on the internet account.  DD10 can still do online classes with my phone data or with the Hotspot connection from her school. 

Actually its probably not right for me to enjoy this so much. See the internet is what makes SS23 not do anything else but play games all day.. Besides basic human functioning its his only activity. He is a nice kid though. We enjoy talking with each other and get along 90% of the time. He doesn't help out with anything around the house and doesn't attempt to look for a job. I believe if there is a will there is a way and he has no will to change. Why should he? Its so comfortable here with free food, free wifi, his own huge bedroom, no chores, etc.  To top it off he has no one demanding more from him. DH actually asked him to do the dishes last night which surprised me. SS ended up doing a poor job of it and you could barely tell he did any at all (majority of it was his own dishes from his room). So DH finished the dishes for him.

I dont know if DH will ever figure out that having expectations will help SS and not traumatize him. By not demanding more from SS its doing it own damage. Not to mention I don't want to live with adult step children forever. They need to eventually launch. If nothing changes then nothing will change.

Comments

tog redux's picture

Are you just going to wait for him to figure it out or push for SS to move out? Sounds like DH is totally comfortable, too.

morrginme's picture

Lately I've been thinking the same thing about DH. I think he likes them living with us. I've been trying over the last week or two to talk to DH about how living with us harms them in the long run and if they must stay here then both boys need to contribute.  I'm not sure I've made any progress. Now I'm trying to figure out the best way to bluntly let DH know that I dont want to live under the same roof as them. I dont want to struggle to make it all work for us living together. 

ndc's picture

Was non-payment of the internet bill deliberate?  If so, you or DH?  

Why don't you let your DH know that a 23 year old living with you indefinitely, while not working or contributing in any way to the household, isn't acceptable to you and has to stop?

Gimlet's picture

It's a false attribution that the internet makes SS do nothing but play games.  That is squarely on SS and on his father for allowing it.  Internet is a pretty basic necessity for most homes.  I would hate feeling like I had so little agency in my home that it felt like relief to not have internet.

What is the plan for SS to launch?  Are there no requirements for him at all?

tog redux's picture

I don't understand parents who allow this - BM is doing this exact thing with SS20. How can you sit by and watch your young adult do nothing with their life, and support them financially? I don't get it.

morrginme's picture

No requirements. Him getting a job has been discussed but thats it. They simply talk about it every now and then and then somehow expect it to magically happen.

Harry's picture

Seems like BM or BF just doesn't care about there kids growing up.   Tell DH that SS had to go.  Move out at the end of of January.  That gives him seven weeks to figure it out