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If I had the money I would leave

morrginme's picture

Today he says that classic line

"I don't understand why the two of you can't get along."

How I hate it when he says that to me. He must not have any idea what an unsupporting, weak, ignorant, and cowardly statement that is. 

Does he not get that Ive been getting along quite well with people for over 30+ years? That I have more experience with interpersonal communications than a 16 year old? That I should have more maturity than a teenager? 

Right now I'm sitting in my car. I took DD8 and the dog with me out of the house. SD16 was starting with her attitude as she walked around the house mumbling to herself but being loud enough to ensure she could be heard . Then she started getting after DD8 about cleaning something up so I called out that I had it handled. I knew it was time to get going because nothing is ever done and settled with her. Then she started going off on DD8 again so I called out a bit stronger this time that I had it handled. Then SD16 marches to her room throwing a tantrum along the way like I was out to get her and totally rude or something. 

I knew this wasnt going to get any better so it was time to leave. I had already texted her dad at work asking him to talk to her but that was before she started being mean to DD8 and I was forced to say something to make it stop. So me., DD8, and our dog got our things together to leave. Then here comes SD acting all shocked and confused asking  where we were going. I didnt know what to say. Its kind of like when you know making eye contact with someone is the worst idea becsuse it will make them think you want to engage with them in a conversation. It was kinda like that except instead of conversation it would just be a bunch of verbal manipulative garbage spewing out of her mouth. So i just said the simple truth that we were leaving and got in the car.  Took the dog with DD and me because SD is not nice to him and takes her anger out on other things at whim but especially when she is mad.

I thought leaving the house was a very good decision and I feel I handled myself quite well. Then DH calls me and starts raising his voice saying he doesnt understand why her and i cant get along and why do I shut her out. Does he mean I'm supposed to accept being treated rudely just so the person being mean feels accepted and included? Am i supposed to just sit there and take it? Oh I know. I'm supposed to be understanding, patient, and forgiving to her like he is. I'm supposed to look like a weak minded idiot that lets a teenager control my life. Now i get it, I'm supposed to be more like him.

I swear if I had the money or a place to stay I would be totally gone at least until SD16 moves out. Is that letting her win? I don't care if it is or not. It would be peaceful. I could enjoy life instead of enduring it.

I cant help but get a small bit of satisfaction from the look on her face when she realized I was leaving the house. She had no show without an audience. She had no one to be mean to if she was alone and no one to argue with if she was by herself.

DH doesnt seem to understand that nice people who are respectful are pleasant to be around. Mean and rude people are not pleasant to be around . Common sense seems to be a totally foreign idea to him.

Comments

ITB2012's picture

"DH, I am telling you exactly WHY we can't get along. I will repeat it again for you: Your daughter is disrespectful, rude, and mean to me, DD8, and even the dog. When YOU deal with her appropriately so that she is respectful, well-mannered, and kind to me, DD8, and the dog, then we will get along."

futurobrillante99's picture

Sounds like you have a budding narcissist there.

My XH2 wanted me to simply submit to his punishment phase. He was mad and needed me to stay put so he could be cold, nasty, silent, etc. to me.

Near the end, I would say, "Look I can tell you're upset and need time to calm down, so I'm going to go run some errands. You can put me in the 'penalty box' but I won't sit there and accept the punishment. Let me know if you want to talk about it later."

I could tell it stunned him that I would say that and leave for a bit. It helped for a bit to stop the punishment, but he'd just change tactics.

 

 

morrginme's picture

And we are supposed to be more patient and understanding because they have been through so much.

 

Livingoutloud's picture

My exSO asked me why I and adult exYSD wouldn’t get along after she moved in with us.

My response was “there is no mystery, it’s very simple-because she s...at all over the toilet seat and leaves bloody sh...ty undies everywhere, plugs the toilet, keeps me up at night watching soap operas loud, sleeps all day and trashes up the house and I don’t put up with sh...t like that”.

I left about a week later never to look back. No amount of him crying and begging then and after would make me stay. Nope. Thanks but no thanks 

morrginme's picture

If only I realized in the beginning what I was headed for. 10 years later and a mutual child I'm waiting for her to move out and hoping it ends there.

morrginme's picture

I don't get the bloody mess. I need to move my bathroom trash can. I sit down at the potty and directly in front of me is a gross mess I don't want to see. I don't get it. Why would someone be ok with people seeing that in plain sight?

WarMachine13's picture

"Where are you going?"

"Out."

"When will you be back?"

"Later."

 

You don't have to answer to a shitty teenager.

morrginme's picture

He asks me why do I block her out. Like I have unlimited patience and no feelings when someone is mean to me?

It doesnt matter what she does and whatever "good conversation" he had with her about, she never gets consequences. Consequences are a foreign concept to him. Maybe he heard the word spoken a few times but other than that he doesn't recognize it exists.

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

Just yell

 

”BECAUSE SHE IS A USELESS, RUDE, DISRESPECTFUL, ENTITLED C!NT AND IT IS YOUR FAULT FOR NOT PUTTING YOUR WIFE FIRST YOU STUPID m, UNGRATEFUL, SPINELESS ASSHOLE!”

Winterglow's picture

"So, DH, you want me to drag her everywhere with me as if she were a child who could not stay at home unsupervised? I see. You do realize that she's 16, don't you?"

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

Accuse me of shouting and regret it. Accuse me of not “getting along” with a shallow gene pool c-nt? You ain’t seen nothing yet, buddy.

Time for you to find your balls and put your DuH on blast. STOP TAKING THEIR SHIT.

shamds's picture

Their mum is dysfunctional/narcissistic/ gubm/psycho and bat shit crazy.

skids inherited the narcissm, dysfunction and are unpleasant to be around.

hubby admitted he is so disappointed these are the kids he had with ex and the dysfunction and pas from her has created mini me versions of bio mum and admitted he hates his kids, admitted they are a never ending source of stress and hatred for him.

when a bio father hates their own kids, tries to fix things/correct their behaviour and there is such sass and attitude from them, they disrespect their dad who worked his arse off as a sole income earner was while useless, manipulative, narcissistic bio mum never wanted to be pregnant with these kids, theres nothing more i have to say