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BM is in my house!

morrginme's picture

Submitted by morrginme on Sat, 02/23/2019 - 12:56am

I was outside telling a friend goodbye and when I came inside I heard another voice. I look across the room and there she is talking to SD in SD's bedroom. She rarely comes over. How did I not notice her come in and where is her vehicle? I walked straight to my bedroom, shut the door, and logged in to steptalk. 

I don't like the woman. I was dumb and naive in the beginning thinking we can all get along for the sake of the kids . Didn't turn out like I thought it would. 

Last time she was here she said she needed a place to sleep for the night and we let her sleep un SD's room. SD wasn't here. Then DH had to go to work in the morning leaving her with me all day while she was trying to find a ride back to her temporary home a campsite up in the mountains.

She was friendly and everything but I guess not really because at one point our conversation turned to childbirth and she had to tell me about how she went into labor because of her and DH having sex. I haven't spoken to her since. 

She's caused more problems before that one incident but our last conversation was about 3 years ago so I should probably consider myself lucky. Some of those earlier memories were pretty painful though. I've also read some of the things she said about me and DH to SD when SD left her messenger open on my phone. Still I read about all the BM's causing problems for people and I'm grateful I don't have that woman constantly in my life. If I did I wouldn't stay in my marriage. No way.

Comments

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Sat, 02/23/2019 - 1:34am

So are you just going to sit in behind your closed bedroom door? You're not even gong to walk across and ask why she is there and what she thinks her plans are? 

 

Monkeysee's picture

Submitted by Monkeysee on Sat, 02/23/2019 - 1:51am

Why is she allowed in your house? Especially when you’re not there, was your DH there? Where are the boundaries?

I would never have let BM spend the night in my home, nor would I have spent the day with her afterwards. Spending time at events is one thing, my home is my home, it’s OUR safe space, not hers. 

Why is your DH allowing this woman intrude into your space like this, it’s completely inappropriate. ‘For the kids’ isn’t good enough, you count too & this clearly bothers you.

disrestep's picture

Submitted by disrestep on Sat, 02/23/2019 - 5:05am

Is this your house? A house shared with DH or a house that DH owns? That aside, I would of said something to her to put her on notice to please let you know before she decides to step into your home unannounced. Who does that? 

you need to establish some ground rules with here before she barges in again. good luck

StepUltimate's picture

Submitted by StepUltimate on Sat, 02/23/2019 - 6:51am

...as hers. The b*tch is trying to dominate your territory. Is she nuts or on meth or... ?

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Sat, 02/23/2019 - 6:55am

Wait, why is BM just allowed to walk into your house without your knowledge? That needs to change.  Just because SD lives there, doesn't give her the right to invite her mother in whenever she pleases.

Boundaries are your friend.

STaround's picture

Submitted by STaround on Sat, 02/23/2019 - 7:42am

Short of kid dying and EMT on the way.  OP needs to tell her DH to shut this down.  Who let her in the house?  DH needs to deal with it

morrginme's picture

Submitted by morrginme on Fri, 03/15/2019 - 8:10pm

I think she came in downstairs where her son stays and worked her way into the main part of the house. Still its all my house.

susanm's picture

Submitted by susanm on Sat, 02/23/2019 - 7:52am

Why is anyone in your house without your knowledge?  Least of all BM!  This is your private sanctuary.  No one has the right to make you hide in your room because you are uncomfortable there.  Shut this down NOW.

ntm's picture

Submitted by ntm on Sat, 02/23/2019 - 8:52am

Get the f**k out of my house. Next time you’ll be charged with trespassing. If she’s already gone, send a registered letter stating that she is not allowed in the house and that you will call the police and she will be charged with trespassing if it ever happens again. Haven’t had an issue with BM here since I sent that letter. 

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Sat, 02/23/2019 - 9:50am

OMG, this happened to me once!  I don't mind BM coming into my house for pickup/dropoff. She does it occasionally and it's just not a big deal to me. But early one morning after SO had left for work I walked into the kids' bedroom (in my jammies) to wake them up and there she was!!!  We'd had them for a longish vacation so she hadn't seen them in a while. I had no problem with her dropping by to see them before work, but I was livid that she just walked in with no notice. That is soooooo far over the line, even for our fairly amicable relationship. It's not even like this used to be her house - SO and kids moved into MY house.  I was so stunned that I didn't say much to her, but SO got an earful from me and he talked to her. It hasn't happened since.

Make sure your DH gives it to her about how inappropriate that was, and also lets the SD know it's not OK.

Cooooookies's picture

Submitted by Cooooookies on Sat, 02/23/2019 - 11:37am

I always got a kick out of when BM2 came into our house.  She'd end up looking at our wedding photos and once read our anniversary cards.  I know the jealousy of it all eats away at her rotten insides.

Gawd sakes don't hide in your own house.  Hang up photos and set out cards.  Give her stuff to look at that will wind her up.  Say hello, ask her why she's there.  Look at SD with a death glare.  OWN it woman, don't hide.  Smile

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Sat, 02/23/2019 - 5:08pm

the six foot tall Gir just stood outside my screen door staring with a blank zombiesque state.

Me: "Hello, Girhippo?"

Girhippo:  (loud rude voice) "WHERE ARE MY KIDS????!!!!"

One of the three times she actually did the transport (one way of course) out of five years.

 

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Sun, 02/24/2019 - 6:54am

salt on the thresholds and burned sage in the house which seemed to ward off the skids and Gir's intent on harming my property.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Submitted by ProbablyAlready... on Mon, 02/25/2019 - 12:30pm

I have a VERY strict "no Psycho in my home" rule. Doesn't matter what the reason. I honestly could care less if she had NOWHERE else to go. She will NOT be in my home.

You should NEVER have to hide in your room because BM is over. It's your home. Not hers. I'd politely ask her to leave. Then talk to your DH about enforcing that and mentioning something to SD.

notasm3's picture

Submitted by notasm3 on Fri, 03/15/2019 - 8:50pm

A meth head in my home who could become violent?  I’d have the cops there in a nanosecond. I would not be posting here. I’d be calling 911.