I’ve been struggling with some pretty funky emotions today.
DH woke me up with a gentile kiss and said, “Hey honey… know what today is?”, and I panicked. He has, like, 200 close relatives who talk on the phone every day and every stinkin month there’s some brother, sister, cousin, uncle, aunt’s birthday to acknowledge (I’m getting really good at color coordinating my calendar with different colored sharpies!) and I thought I had forgot a biggie….

Me: “Um… no? What’s today..?”
Him: “It’s a year to the day that we drove the moving van from Pittsburgh to Charlotte… happy one year anniversary!”

He was so giddy and cute about it… remembering the days leading up to the move, all of the goodbye parties and packing and the trip it was driving all of our earthly belongings 500 miles south with our Jeep in tow and a Beta Fish in a to-go container in the cab of the truck (I was so scared that he’s be bounced around that I held him in my lap the entire 500 mile drive!). And all I wanted to do was shut myself away in the bathroom and wail… I just can’t believe I blinked and an entire year of my life has been lost down here. A whole year later and I’m no more comfortable, secure or happy than the day we backed the truck up to our new house.

And here’s my problem… I’m thoroughly stuck here until those kids graduate high school. DH fosters some hopes that when they grow up they’ll settle down and raise families here, but I just don’t see it. NC is very transitory… no one’s “from” here (mostly north eastern transplants) and no one seems to stick around long (my theory is you can’t put down roots in this bloody red clay). The skids mom bought a ridiculous house here with a 20 year mortgage that she’s not getting out of any time soon so here we be. The Southern Mormon Family Robinson. I love DH… I’d follow him to the moon (and did!) and I know he HAS to be around his kids… I just wish I could find ANYTHING to like about being here.

North Carolina is purgatory… and I’m just putting in my 18 years.
Happy flippin anniversary.