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Monchichi's picture

What is the normal/ avergae age of sexual experimentation? What factors need to be considered? Is gender a factor?

Any thoughts or advice is appreciated. No judgements please.

Comments

tog redux's picture

What do you mean by sexual experimentation? That could range from french kissing to anal sex. 

Winterglow's picture

IT could even be as simple as playing doctors or you show me yours and I'll show you mine ... Clarification, OP?

Monchichi's picture

Exactly the word I used. Kissing isn't what I consider sexual experimentation  Sad It's actual sex/ attempted act of it  which I hope makes sense.

justmakingthebest's picture

I read somewhere recently that the average age to lose your virginity is now 13. 

However, Like Tog and Winterglow said- curiosity and "playing doctor" happens at much younger ages. My mom and her best friend like to joke about how the friend's son and I played an "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" at like 2-3 years old. We are all late 30's now with kids and spouses but we are all still close. It has been a horrible family joke for YEARS! As a teenager with an actual crush on him, it was the WORST! LOL

nengooseus's picture

Location, for example.  I think kids in more rural areas experiment sexually earlier than kids in urban areas.  I think it likely that both genders experiment similarly (though boys are likely more open about it).

I think there is all kinds of study on millennials and Gen Zers because they're losing their virginity later than previous generations, but that doesn't exclude sexual experimentation before that.

shamds's picture

told plenty are having unprotected sex at 10/11 yrs old without parents havig a clue.. they’re actively sleeping around but the ethnic majority refuse to allow the schools to teach basic sex ed claiming sex is only for when you marry so you don’t need to know anything. They’ll go through puberty with no sex ed or any clue on fertility, your reproductive system. They get pregnant in their 20s and don’t know any basic things about their menstrual cycle or pregnancy..

in australia it was 13/14 yrs old and a few of my school friends did have sex at 13 saying it hurt so bad but they did it because they’re boyfriend pressured them

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

I don't think there is a norm to be honest. Every child is different and I think parents need to be aware of their child. I had my first boyfriend at 15 and except for some intense kissing there was no way I was ready to engage in sex. I was 17 before I did that and I was stupid but lucky. I could have ended up with an STD or a child but it didn't happen thankfully.

My sister on the other hand my parents got on birth control pretty much as soon as she was capable of having a child because she was a lot different than me. She still claims all of the children she does have were "accidents". She was an adult when she miscarried her first child and we do believe if it weren't for my parents pushing the pill at 13 it would have happened much sooner.

I look at my SO's oldest and right now she's growing fast but she doesn't seem boy crazy. She'll say so and so likes her but she's not into them. She's in 3rd grade and I personally am pushing the idea of respecting herself and others. We haven't had an intense talk about birth control and sex in our house though BM has had some discussion with her. The little one is in kindergarten and he’s hearing the same talk about respecting ourselves and others.

I don’t personally think children are having sex younger and younger despite what people say. My grandmother married my father at 16 because that was “normal”. I knew peers at 14 who were having sex.

I know that the oldest is already developing sexual characteristics (breast and darker body hair) and we’re just keeping communication open so when the idea of her hanging out with a guy alone starts coming up we can push more education about STD and pregnancy prevention. We’ll continue to push that her body is hers and it’s her choice but inform her of the possible complications that come with sex. I’m not foolish to think she’ll be an adult before she does anything but I’m hoping she won’t be too young. I don’t know exactly what that means though.

Kiwi_koala's picture

Wow I must have grown up veryyy sheltered. My friends weren't really experimenting or having sex until they were 16/17. We were pretty innocent in middle school and most of high school. I didn't feel ready to have sex in high school. I waited until I was 20. 

My mom is a nurse and she worked in women's health while I was growing up. She would tell me about the pregnant 14 year olds that would come in :(. My mom and I have a very open relationship and I felt like I could tell her anything. She is a good listener. I think it's important to keep the lines of communication open and to speak honestly. State the facts and don't get too preachy. Kids are more likely to open up that way and the more they feel comfortable talking to you the more you can positively Influence them.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

If you mean actually starting to have intercourse - in my area it starts with a small number of kids in middle school, so ages 12 -13. The average age at first intercourse in the United States, according to the Center For Disease Control, is 17.

Are some of your concerns about Chuckie beginning to happen?

notsurehowtodeal's picture

I'm so sorry. You tried so hard with him, and it makes me mad that no one would listen to you when you tried to warn them of future issues.

fourbrats's picture

bloomers lol. 17, 17, 19, 17 and one not even there yet at 15 almost 16. I didn't realize the average was now 13. I think they had all had their first kiss by then but there wasn't any sexual experimentation and we aren't extremely conservative or even over-protective. I would have freaked out if it had been 13! 

Normal? To me that is still high school age. Middle school seems so young and very much not ready.