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Separated From Husband with 3 Month Old Baby

MomOfTwo1313's picture

Just wanted to update my blog. Been feeling emotional today and it helps to vent and get good advice on here. Last time I blogged I was pregnant. Now I have a beautiful and prescious 3 month old baby girl. I feel like my life is complete. I’m still separated from my husband and we’re going on 5 months separated. Every time our baby girl does something like smile I take a picture and send it to him. It’s not the same as sharing special moments with the person you created something so beautiful with. He visits her and I visit him at our house we still have todther. He provides and seems to be trying very hard to prove that he has changed. I still don’t feel sure of going back and trying it again just yet. I still hold a lot of resentment for what happened during my pregnancy. He says that a lot has changed including his ex taking care of her kids on her time but then again I’m not there so she can drop them off whenever she feels like anymore. I’m afraid if I go back things will end up the same or even harder. I’m actually enjoying time with my parents as I am staying with them. My mom adores my kids and helps out with my newborn daughter. I enjoy seeing them love my kids so much. The thought of me not giving my daughter or my son an actual family experience makes me sad. I tried to give my son a family and this is how it turned out. He wasn’t a very involved step father to my son. In fact I don’t think he appreciated him. His only concern when I was there was the business, his kids and his immediate family. My son and I always felt left out. I don’t know if it was just me but that’s the way I felt. Now I still help out with the business invoices and scheduling but 95% of the money made goes towards his child support for his 2 other kids, taxes, home expenses and that sort if thing. The cash he’s makes on the side he keeps for his own personal outings or family. He pays the health insurance late and that worries me. Told him I was going to apply for help for health insurance because he’s not dependable to pay it on time. But if I’m doing that and he kept the house then should I go for child support? He leaves the account open for me to use but it’s very limited. I feel like I’m in limbo and don’t know what direction to go but I need to figure it out soon


Survivingstephell's picture

You need to do what's right for you at this moment.  Don't worry about where this will all end up.  He isn't the only one that has to change.  You will change too.  Standing up for yourself, taking care of business will change you for the better and he will have to accept that change.  Remember that those hormones are still raging inside you, don't let them get the best of you.  

Harry's picture

not filed for child support??  He can pay for first two kids. He can pay for your child too.

take control of not only your life but your baby life.  Your baby should not suffer 

MomOfTwo1313's picture

Do you think he should start paying child support even if we don’t know if we’ll move in together? 

Siemprematahari's picture

I think you answered your own question:

In fact I don’t think he appreciated him. His only concern when I was there was the business, his kids, and his immediate family.

^^^^^^^^Why go back to that toxic environment and deal with all the BS from his exwife & children. You have a great support system right now and have the opportunity to get on your feet and take care of yours. You just had a baby so your hormones are still all over the place. Don't make a decision just yet but really think this through. He hasn't really shown or proved that he has changed and the last time I checked it doesn't happen over night.