Stupid bitch

Ex and I have been divorced for a very long time. In that time, I adopted a child on my own, then married my current husband and am VERY happy with our family.

My oldest child just graduated high school and will be leaving for college out of state very soon. This child has received a lot of scholarship money, and will be attending a very prestigious private university for minimal out of pocket expenses. After all costs are figured in for books, tuition, room & board, etc, out of pocket is around $6,000 per year. My husband and I will be paying that as my ex does not believe in higher education. My husband and I are also paying my child's car insurance and giving a small monthly amount for expenses. This is similar to what we are doing for my husband's child, who also just graduated.

This weekend, my oldest child posted a message on Facebo with a picture of us (me and child), giving a thank you for everything I have done and continue to do that allow child to pursue their dreams, how much child is going to miss me, but how they know they will succeed because of the example and foundation I have given to child.

It was very sweet and really warmed this mom's heart.

My ex isn't on Facebook and his girlfriend is not "friends" with either of my kids on facebook, but she was hanging out with my ex's niece (my kid's cousin) this weekend who is friends with my kids on Facebook. And she used that account to raise holy hell with my kid.

Some of my favorites"

"Little child you need to get yourself in check. stop believing your cunt moms BS and no the truth"

"that bitch you call mom would have nothing without what (ex) gave her"

"Good thing she spread her legs for someone with money or youd be spreading yours just to go to community college"

"Dont think were giving you shit after the way you've misaligned (ex) whose been nothing but an excellent father!"

For the record, I've never said anything negative about my ex to my kids. No reason to do so. Until this girlfriend, we got along great and have co-parented cooperatively. He wasn't involved as much as I would have chosen, but that was at his choice. I have always let him know everything that is going on with our kids to give him the opportunity to be involved.

I have to LOL about me having nothing without him. I put myself through college, graduate school and law school. I save money for the things I value and I don't waste money on frivilous things. My husband is similar and we live a very comfortable life. I never received allimony, and while I received child support, he never paid any extras that were court ordered like medical copays.

My child has more than $30,000 per year in scholarship money. I hardly think they will need to rely on seling themselves to cover college.

And I really have to LOL at the last one because my ex has been very clear that he will not be providing anything for my kids to go to college. At 18, he's done with them. Asshole.

My child is so angry. They deleted the cousin off facebook, deleted the posts made by girlfriend (never engaged the girlfriend), and has stated that they do not want their dad and his girlfriend at the going away pool party I'm throwing next weekend. But, my ex already knows about the party, so what do I do? Do I make my child tell dad that he's not welcome? Do I do it? What if they show anyway (it's at my home)?

I hate this. We've never had any drama like this, and this is so stupid.

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When we throw a party, we do

When we throw a party, we do not invite BM. But it sounds exes in your home are the norm for you and your ex.

I hope you took screen shots of the girlfriends comments. If your graduate was 22 I would encourage her to handle it in an adult way directly with her father. But 17/18 is a bit dicier. If you feel your kid is mature enough, ask her to handle this on her own. Tell her she does not need to defend you. But she should speak only about her own feelings directly with dad.

If you do feel you should handle it, send the screen shot to ex and say I'm sure you can understand it's best now that you and gf celebrate the graduation on your own terms. A person who feels this way about me is not welcome in my home, of course, and I would not expect you to come without your partner. So please make your own plans and convey them directly to our kid for details.

Something like that.

Is it possible that he

Is it possible that he doesn't know what the GF did?

You should have screen printed the FB posts, sent them to him and uninvited him from the party.
I understand that you didn't but I would still uninvited him and tell him why. It will only cause pain and maybe more drama if he comes.
I would do it myself, just because the child is hurt and upset and well for me it's the Mom thing to do. Others may disagree but if she/he felt comfortable doing it she/he wouldn't have asked you.

However, the child should meet with him, alone and let him know how hurtful the posts were.

Decide the outcome you want.

Decide the outcome you want. If you want gf to not come, then ex and gf need to be un-invited.

Then decide if your child can handle this or not. It might be a teachable moment or just too much stress.

If you handle it, just call/email/text ex and say that there were some unkind words posted on FB this weeend by gf and as a result child doesn't want them to come to pool party. Include him in the disinvitation as he's now a 'unit' with the gf, but be prepared for him to want to come on his own. Would you and your child be ok with that?

If your child handles it, essentially same thing. Just if ex tends to be pushy, prepare her how to stand her ground without getting engaged in an argument. "I want you and gf to stay away from the pool party. I know you don't like my decision and I'm sorry about that" might be a good mantra.

Your ex needs to get his GF

Your ex needs to get his GF in check. Is she still in middle school or what? That was absolutely uncalled for and childish. I don't have any bios but if I did, and I had a boyfriend who put crap like that on my kid's page, he would be gone.

I do hope you have screen shots of those and I would show them to him and let him know why your daughter does not want them at the party. Ridiculous.

Actually, his girlfriend is

Actually, his girlfriend is 23. And yes, our oldest is 18. But he has kids from his first marriage who are older than his girlfriend.

Since the bio dad seems to

Since the bio dad seems to think he is now "done" with being a dad, you are now done with any co-parenting for this child. I would send him a short note telling him that he is not invited to the pool party. No excuses. No explanations.

Dear Ex:
You and your GF and not invited to the event on mo/day at my home.
your ex

And then cease any and all communication with him unless it involves another minor child with him.

I'd probably give you the same advice even if his GF was not trashy garbage. Your child does not want these people at the party. Please comply with your child's wishes. Forget about your ex's wants. Your child's wishes override your ex husband's desire to be there.

I would not let them in my

I would not let them in my home. I would email your ex to let him know why they are no longer welcome in your home. Hopefully you copied the nasty comments made to his child from his girlfriend . She is a nasty piece of work .

Trespass HER ass! Send it to

Trespass HER ass! Send it to her and ex with an explanation.

I do have screenshots of the

I do have screenshots of the comments made on my child's page, as well as comments that were then made on the girlfriend's page.

I decided to email them to my ex with the following email:

"I'm unsure if you are aware of the situation, but attached are screen shots of posts made to (our child)'s Facebook page this weekend, as well as on (ex's girlfriend)'s page.

Due to this situation, (ex's girlfriend) is no longer allowed in my home, which includes the going away party for (our child) next weekend. As always, you are welcome to attend. If you would rather celebrate with (our child) separately,you will need to work the logistics out with (our child)."

I'm afraid this is going to cause all kinds of chaos, but I just won't have that woman in my home.

Comments

When we throw a party, we do

Is it possible that he

Decide the outcome you want.

Your ex needs to get his GF

Actually, his girlfriend is

Since the bio dad seems to

I would not let them in my

Trespass HER ass! Send it to

I do have screenshots of the

You done good, sweetie. That

Great job! Keep us posted.

Perfect! You didn't accuse,

Wow! You must post an update

Girlfriend is a real class

You are here

Stupid bitch

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